You know what nobody tells you about the fertility journey? That the woman doing everything right, the one who's researched every protocol, optimised every habit, and shows up perfectly every single day, is often the most stuck.

This episode is different. No blackboard. No graphics. Just Monica, her eye patches, a pile of clean laundry on a semi-dirty floor, and one of the most honest conversations she's ever had on this podcast.

Because the laundry isn't about the laundry. And the fertility journey isn't about the protocols.

It's about the emotion underneath all of it that you've been avoiding, again and again, because feeling it is so much harder than just doing more.

In this episode Monica gets raw and vulnerable about her own buffering, her own patterns, and the four stages of awareness that actually move the needle when you've already done everything right and you're still stuck.

In this episode you'll discover:

Timestamps:

📖 Read the full blog post: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/fertility-burnout-the-hidden-pattern-nobody-talks-about-during-ivf-infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Link to YouTube video & Blog post :: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/why-you-keep-repeating-the-same-fertility-struggles-even-after-doing-everything-right-infertility

You're doing the yoga, protocols, inner child work & meditations. You've read every book, listened to every podcast, tried every supplement. And you're still stuck. Still not pregnant. Still wondering what the hell you're missing.

This episode is for the woman who is doing everything right and still not getting the result she deserves.

Monica breaks down the framework she's been living and observing for years — why knowledge alone will never be enough to shift your fertility, and why the unconscious and subconscious patterns running through every cell of your body are the real reason you keep cycling through the same loops.

This isn't about adding another thing to your list. It's about finally understanding why the list isn't working.

In this episode you'll discover:

Timestamps:

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Link to Youtube & Blog Post: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/why-you-re-still-not-pregnant-despite-doing-everything-right-infertility-failed-ivf-egg-quality

Why "doing everything right" can still keep you stuck

How cellular health affects fertility and long-term health

My personal IVF, miscarriage, and natural pregnancy journey

Why subconscious work isn't just affirmations

The hidden patterns that quietly keep you stuck

How awareness—not more information—is what changes your life

What if the reason you're still struggling isn't because you need more information?

In this episode, I share one of the biggest shifts that's happened in my own work over the last year. After spending more than a decade teaching fertility, I've realized that knowledge alone doesn't create transformation. Most women I work with already know what to eat, what supplements to take, and what lifestyle changes they "should" be making.

The real question is:

Why aren't those things changing your reality?

Using a simple timeline, I walk you through the way I now understand fertility, health, and life itself. We explore how your cellular health, inherited patterns, nervous system, subconscious beliefs, and identity all interact to shape the life you're living today—and why healing isn't about becoming perfect. It's about changing the direction you're moving.

I also share my own fertility story, from two failed IVF cycles and recurrent pregnancy loss to eventually becoming pregnant naturally after being told my egg quality couldn't improve. More importantly, I explain why that wasn't the end of the journey.

Because having the baby wasn't the biggest transformation.

Becoming aware of the patterns that had been running my entire life was.

00:00 – Welcome to Finding Fertility

01:00 – Why I'm moving away from teaching and toward awareness

03:55 – My fertility story begins: what eight years of infertility taught me

05:20 – The timeline that changed everything: cellular health vs. simply getting older

08:00 – My first failed IVF and refusing to believe there was "nothing I could do"

10:30 – The fertility line: why improvement happens long before success

11:50 – Discovering immune issues, inflammation, and the gut connection

13:15 – My first pregnancy after years of infertility

15:10 – IVF success, miscarriage, and the natural pregnancy I never thought was possible

17:30 – The biggest lesson wasn't fertility—it was my subconscious patterns

19:25 – Why high-achieving women plateau despite doing everything right

21:20 – "How do I actually change?"

21:45 – Why affirmations work for some people—but not everyone

25:55 – The emotional blocks and identity patterns keeping you stuck

27:10 – "But what about women who do nothing and still get pregnant?"

29:10 – Doing vs. Being: the trap so many women never see

30:35 – Consistency creates evidence: rewiring your nervous system and subconscious

31:25 – Final thoughts

Book a Fertility Breakthrough Session Today : https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation

If this episode resonated with you, I'd love if you left a review. Every review helps another woman discover this work and reminds the algorithms that awareness matters just as much as information.

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

Every pregnancy announcement can feel like a quiet accusation.

Why can she get pregnant and I can’t.

This question is not about comparison. It is about cellular health and the basic fertility line most women have never been taught. Pregnancy is not proof of health. It is proof that the body had just enough energy to cross a line. When your mitochondrial function gut health and nervous system are depleted you might still conceive but the system is borrowing from reserves.

Fertility burnout IVF trauma subconscious blocks and emotional healing are rarely spoken about in the same breath as egg quality and hormone health. Yet your fertility does not live in isolation. It begins in the brain moves through the endocrine system and depends on the safety of your body.

The frequency behind your effort matters. “It’s not the doing. It’s the energy behind the doing.” If you feel like you are doing everything right and it still is not working this is not about more effort. It is about awareness. About the patterns running beneath your mindset.

About whether your body feels safe enough to create. Cellular health can be supported. Subconscious healing can shift your internal environment. And frequency is not something you fake. It is something you live. You are not broken. Your body is communicating. And sometimes the red zone is not punishment. It is an invitation.

Egg Quality:: The Fertility Cliff: Why “It’s Your Age” Is the Most Convenient Scapegoat in Modern Medicine:: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/fertility-cliff-why-it-s-your-age-is-the-most-convenient-scapegoat-in-modern-medicine

Full Transcription on the blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/why-she-gets-pregnant-you-can-t-ivf-infertility-the-hidden-reason-ivf-functional-medicine-are-not-enough-anymore

Fertile Energetics Journal: Six Core Steps to Emotional Alignment, Cellular Support & Conscious Conception on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4trMszr

Chapters:

02:26: Cellular health and the basic fertility line

04:21: Egg quality IVF and mitochondrial function

07:42: Pregnancy risks when reserves are low

11:27: Epigenetics stress and baby development

16:06: Partner energy resentment and subconscious blocks

23:54: Fertility burnout and pattern interruption

27:40: Frequency safety and emotional healing

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“My life would still be beautiful even if I never had children.”

• The emotional death grip many women hold during infertility

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be.

Today’s episode is a vulnerable one because we are talking about one of the hardest truths many women on the fertility journey cannot even say out loud. What if life could still be beautiful even if you never had children?

For many women struggling with infertility, the journey slowly becomes a death grip. Every decision feels like it determines your future, every month carries the weight of hope and disappointment, and life begins to revolve around one single outcome. I know this deeply because I lived it myself during my own years of infertility, failed IVF cycles, and miscarriage.

In this episode I share the quiet moment that shifted everything for me. A realization that my life would still have meaning even if motherhood never happened. Not because I stopped wanting a family, but because loosening that grip allowed my body and mind to finally breathe again. We also walk through a powerful meditation inspired by a Psych-K balance that explores both the best case and worst case life scenarios without children. Facing those fears can release the emotional tension that keeps so many women stuck in overdoing, overthinking, and constant urgency on their fertility journey.

“When your entire life revolves around fertility, you quietly enter what I call infertility hell.”

02:51 The death grip many women hold during infertility

Full Transcript on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/hardest-truth-i-faced-during-infertility-not-having-children-how-i-let-go-to-get-pregnant-naturally

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

What This Episode Moves Through

• the moment when control starts to loosen its grip without force

There was a point where pushing just… stopped working.

Not in a dramatic way. Not in a breakdown. Just a quiet realization that doing more wasn’t creating more. That the effort, the planning, the constant adjusting… wasn’t landing the way it used to.

And for a moment, that felt like something was wrong.

This episode sits inside that space.

Not the part where everything clicks into place, but the part where the noise settles & you’re left standing in something unfamiliar. Something quieter. Something that doesn’t need to prove itself.

It’s less about what to do next

Timestamps

01:03 When there is no next step

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/what-happens-after-you-stop-trying-so-hard-to-conceive-during-ivf-infertility 

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

There was a point where doing more just stopped working.

Not in a dramatic way.

And underneath that, something softer started to come through.

This episode sits in that space.

Not where something new is introduced.

Where control doesn’t grip the same way.

It’s not perfect.

And that changes things.

This conversation moves through:

• The subtle shift from doing the work to living it

There’s a different kind of honesty here.

The kind that doesn’t ask you to try harder.

Just a quiet return to what’s already there.

And maybe noticing…

Timestamps

00:57 Nothing new to add, only noticing what has changed

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/Why%20Letting%20Go%20of%20Control%20Feels%20So%20Uncomfortable%20but%20Necessary%20During%20Infertility%20&%20IVF

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

There was a point where slowing down didn’t feel like trust.

Like I was missing something.

But nothing slipped.

Not loud. Not obvious.

This episode sits right inside that space.

Not the kind you force.

The kind that shows up when you stop pushing against yourself long enough to see what’s already there.

And what’s already there isn’t always big.

It shows up in the smallest moments.

This conversation moves through that.

Not how to trust.

What this episode moves through:

• The subtle ways trust shows up before you’re ready to call it that

There’s nothing to do with this one.

Just noticing.

Where you didn’t rush.

That’s where it starts growing.

Not through effort.

And maybe the quiet part is the part that matters most.

Timestamps:

00:00 Welcome to Finding Fertility

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Subtle%20Shift%20From%20Anxiety%20to%20Trust%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

What this episode moves through

• The subtle ways control still shows up even when you think you’ve “done the work”

There was a point where I stopped looking for the big moment to change everything.

Not because I found it… but because I couldn’t keep chasing it.

I remember thinking something must be missing. Another protocol. Another shift. Another layer I hadn’t uncovered yet. And yet nothing was actually changing in the way I thought it would. Not in the timeline I had quietly decided it should.

And what I didn’t see at the time was how much of my life I was moving through without ever really being in it.

This conversation starts to land there. Not in the dramatic parts of the journey. Not in the big decisions or the big healing moments. But in the places that feel almost too ordinary to matter.

The parts of your day you usually rush through or fill up or try to get past.

And how those exact moments are where something deeper either stays the same… or finally begins to shift.

Timestamps

01:05 The reality of staying in the work over time

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/The%20Hidden%20Pattern%20Keeping%20You%20Stuck%20in%20IVF%20&%20Fertility%20Burnout

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.

“Awareness is not the same as self-monitoring.”

How awareness quietly turns into pressure and self-monitoring

The deeply ingrained pattern of being hypercritical with yourself

Why many emotional patterns are learned, not who you actually are

The difference between observing and trying to fix yourself

The concept of “the observer observing the observer”

How judgment, shame, and blame activate the nervous system

Why clean awareness creates regulation and softness in the body

Letting go of the need to improve every moment you notice

The internal stories that keep you stuck in “this is just who I am”

Moving into a more neutral, graceful relationship with yourself

Hello Beautiful, Monica here supporting you to become the conscious mama you were born to be…

And this week… we go a layer deeper.

Because a lot of you have done the work. You’ve slowed down. You’ve started noticing your patterns. You’re becoming aware. And instead of that bringing relief… it’s quietly turned into another thing you’re trying to get right.

Watching yourself. Correcting yourself. Wondering if you’re doing it “well enough.”

And I get it. I’ve lived that.

But this is where things can get a little sneaky. Because awareness can very quickly turn into self-monitoring. And self-monitoring almost always turns into judgment.

So instead of softening… your body tightens even more.

This episode is where we shift that.

Not by doing more. Not by fixing anything. But by learning how to observe yourself without adding another layer of pressure on top of everything you’re already carrying.

Because the truth is… you’re not stuck because you’re doing it wrong.

You’re stuck because you’re still judging yourself while you’re trying to change.

And once you see that… something opens.

“Judgment tightens the body. Awareness softens it.”

00:00

01:35

02:29

03:18

04:47

06:12

Full Transcript Over on the Blog: https://www.findingfertility.co/blog/week-17%20Fertility%20Burnout%20&%20the%20Trap%20of%20Self-Monitoring%20Your%20Healing%20During%20IVF%20&%20Infertility

Let's Do This Together 💚

Monica

Instagram: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityIG 

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@findingfertility

TikTok: https://bit.ly/FindingFertilityTikTok 

🌺 Book Your Fertility Breakthrough Session Today here: https://calendly.com/findingfertility/discoveryconsultation?month=2022-10

🎙 Subscribe on your favourite podcast platform:⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Apple: http://bit.ly/FINDINGFERTILITYAPPLE⁣⁠⁣⁣⁣

Stitcher: http://bit.ly/FindingFertilitySTITCHER

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/0BMtwCvdyR4aJyfSfcKh6i

🍍HELP SUPPORT THE SHOW🍍 You can shop for your favourite fertility support products over on: Seeking Health:https://bit.ly/FFSeekingHealth & Amazon:http://bit.ly/FindingFertilityAmazon  

Anything written or said about health and diet are my opinions, that I have formed over the years, through trial and error, study, reading, listening and observing. What worked for me, may not work for you. I am not a doctor, nutritionist or dietician and all medical advice should be gotten from a qualified professional. Product recommendations are based on what I used during my infertility journey or wish I had.