July 11, 2023

Finding the Goldilocks Zone, Understanding Each Other's Needs and Differences-Guest Co-host Bronwyn Wilson

1 hour 5 minutes

During this episode with guest co-host Dr. Bronwyn Wilson, we talk about what it looks like to find the "Goldilocks Zone"...the "just right" for neurodiverse couples and what might be preventing couples from finding the path towards thriving in their relationship, including:

The importance of both partners accepting the autism diagnosis, or self identification.

Denial can lead to relationship breakdown.

Both partners need to be committed to change and recognize the positives in the relationship.

What it looks like when one partner is the "social secretary".

The importance of "accepting" help.

Creating a more regimented relationship and a new normal.

Why positive comments are sometimes seen as critical.

Intent-vs-impact.

Catastrophizing and anger rumination.

Looping thoughts and repetitive behaviors.

Trauma responses can impact your communication styles.

Bullying and abusive behaviors.

Deserved justice or "an eye for an eye".

Depression can impact negativity.

The "Surviving Zone" includes living separate lives, not dealing with problems, loss of pleasure, depression, and saying yes and doing no.

Neurodiverse relationships may look different and that is okay!

A formula to thrive in a neurodiverse relationship: 1) Both partners be willing to accept and learn about the diagnosis or self-identification; 2) Be willing to gain knowledge of neurodiversity and understand each other's differences; 3) Have a constructive mindset; 4) Understand that "typical" counseling will never suffice; 5) Be motivated to learn about, nurture and support each others individual needs.

During this episode we talk about abusive behavior and if you are in an abusive relationship and need help, please contact the Domestic Violence Hotline in your country. In the United States the hotline number is: 800-799-7233

I want to thank Dr. Bronwyn Wilson for sharing her research, lived experience and knowledge on the Neurodiverse Love podcast. Her research has helped many people better understand themselves, their partners and their relationships. I am hopeful that the results of her many years of work will lay the foundation for many more researchers to work with autistic individuals, allistic/neurotypical individuals and neurodiverse couples around the world who are looking for ways to thrive in their relationships. When we know better, we can do better!

As we work together, we can increase understanding of the needs, strengths and challenges that all neurotypes may have and this can lead to more acceptance, compassion and grace for the way we each want to live our best, most authentic lives!

If you want to contact Bron, or order a copy of her book (Have They Gone Nuts? The Survival Guide to Social Interaction in Neurodiverse (Autistic-Neurotypical) Relationships), or pre-order her second book, please check out her website at: www.bronwilson.com. You can also buy her e-book on Amazon. ______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

If you are interested in learning more about the support groups that Mona offers for neurotypical/non-autistic partners or neurodiverse couples, please send her an email at: [email protected]. or visit her website at: www.neurodiverselove.com

Follow Mona on Instagram @neurodiverse_love or ⁠click here⁠ to sign up for the Neurodiverse Love Newsletter.

Also, if you are interested in buying a deck of the Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards, the digital deck is available for $11. ⁠Click here⁠ to buy your deck today.

Lastly, if you missed the 2023 Neurodiverse Love Conference you can buy unlimited access to the 27 AMAZING pre-recorded conference sessions for only $98 by Clicking here⁠.

Thanks for being a part of the Neurodiverse Love Community!

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By Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

4.5

3535 ratings