❓ What happens when two people fall in love and one is neurodivergent? They go viral on social media! 📈

In this episode, Jodi chats with Adam and Becca, a neurodiverse couple whose viral TikToks have racked up millions of views. Their videos offer an unfiltered look into the realities of a neurodiverse relationship—and their honest, often hilarious conversations have helped hundreds of thousands of viewers feel less alone.

Together, they share what it’s really like navigating marriage with autism and ADHD in the mix: from sensory overload and autistic burnout to faith deconstruction, parenting struggles, emotional disconnects, and wildly mismatched love languages.

Becca opens up about her late autism diagnosis, how masking nearly broke her, and why even small moments of affection can feel overwhelming. Adam reflects on how being a neurotypical husband has challenged him to rethink communication, connection, and what support truly looks like.

💬 You’ll hear about:

-How they met and fell in love despite major differences

If you've ever wondered what "opposites attract" looks like in a neurodiverse relationship, this episode is a must-listen!

📍 Episode Timestamps:

0:00 – Season 5 Intro: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work?

✨ About Adam & Becca: Adam and Becca James are a neurodiverse couple living in Georgia who’ve built a community of over 205K followers on TikTok (@studiesshow) by sharing the everyday realities of their relationship—equal parts insightful, awkward, and hilarious.

Their content went viral after one clip, now with over 32 million views, showing the wildly different ways they wind down at night. Since then, they’ve continued to open up about the challenges and gifts of navigating life, love, and parenthood with ADHD and autism in the mix. Adam is a home health physical therapist, musician, and lifelong Braves fan. Becca, a nurse with experience in both hospital and home healthcare, brings her dry wit and deeply self-aware reflections to their videos, offering a perspective that resonates with both neurodivergent and neurotypical viewers alike.

Together, they use their TikTok platform to normalize neurodivergence, dismantle stigma, and remind their audience that even opposites can thrive—with the right mix of humor, honesty, and headphones. Adam and Becca also co-host The Poisoner’s Almanac, a podcast exploring poisons (one of Becca's special interests) through history, culture, and modern science.

💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.

🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai 

👩‍💼 About Your Host:

Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Can a neurodiverse relationship still see change when only one partner works on it? What if you’ve tried everything, but nothing seems to stick?

In Part 2 of this roundtable discussion, Jodi and the panel of leading neurodiversity professionals return to explore how coaching (versus therapy), nervous system regulation, and identifying options can help couples shift out of stuck patterns—even when one partner isn’t engaged in the work. If you’re trying to decide whether to stay, leave, or redefine what being together looks like, this conversation offers real-life strategies, hope, and clarity.

💬 What You’ll Learn in This Episode: The difference between coaching and traditional therapy—and when each is most effective Why regulating your nervous system is key to better communication Practical tools for rewiring the brain and shifting harmful patterns How to navigate decision-making, boundaries, and even separation with clarity and self-trust What to look for in a therapist or coach to determine who actually understands neurodiversity - versus someone who “knows someone that was neurodivergent” How healing is possible even if only one partner is doing the work

Whether you're in a neurodiverse relationship, supporting a loved one, or working as a professional in this space, this episode offers real tools, compassionate insight, and hopeful next steps.

👉 Missed Part 1? Watch here: https://youtu.be/rXeUypJeQX4?si=1GiWaeRK5PhrWS59 

00:00 Welcome Back: Season 5 & this Expert Panel Episode

👋🏼 Meet the Experts: This episode features insights from:

Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com

Jana Smith – Resilience and nervous system coach; expert in chronic illness and Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com

Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference, and co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com

Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families; co-host of Loving Difference and Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk

Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com 

👩‍💼 About Your Host:

Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Find resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com  

🔔 Subscribe & Follow for more real conversations and strategies to support neurodiverse couples.

How do you stay in a neurodiverse marriage for the long haul?

In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, counselor Laura Schreiner returns to share what she and her autistic husband have learned in over 20 years together—especially after discovering neurodivergence mid-marriage. With warmth and wisdom, Laura and host Jodi Carlton explore what real growth looks like in neurodiverse marriages—from learning to set emotional boundaries to releasing the pressure to “fix” each other.

💬 You’ll hear Laura unpack:

Why setting boundaries with your kids is just as important as with your partner

This conversation is packed with real insight for #neurotypical and #neurodivergent partners alike—plus a lot of humor and humanity!

📍 Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro & Why You Shouldn’t Miss Part 1

✨ About Laura Schreiner:

Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.

Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.

To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit www.laurasnc.com 

👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 

💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App

Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.

🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai

#neurodiversemarriage #communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #neurodivergentlove #emotionalboundaries #relationshipadvice

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com 

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Counselor Laura Schreiner opens up about her own 20-year neurodiverse marriage—sharing expert insights, hard truths, and what makes love last.

In this episode, neurodiverse relationship expert, Jodi Carlton, sits down with returning guest Laura Schreiner, a seasoned counselor who specializes in working with #neurodivergent adults and couples. Laura shares insights from her own 20-year #neurodiversemarriage, offering a rare and compassionate look at how communication struggles, #masking, #emotionalburnout, and unmet expectations play out in real life—and what it looks like when couples decide to stay in it and do the work.

💬  You’ll hear Laura break down:

Whether you’re the #autisticpartner, the #neurotypical one, or somewhere in between—this episode is packed with wisdom, warmth, and hard-earned truth.

00:00 Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work Long-Term?

01:23 Meet Laura Schreiner: Counselor & Neurodiverse Partner

02:45 Why Laura Speaks for Both Partners in This Episode (Respecting Privacy in Neurodiverse Relationships)

05:52 What Makes Neurodiverse  Relationships So Challenging? And What Are Some Solutions 

06:12 Communication Is Not Linear

08:02 Her Husband’s Powerful Quote on Communication Challenges

09:35 Jodi and Laura Talk About the Shame, Embarrassment, and Self-Criticism Neurodivergent Partners Often Experience

13:13 Pulling the Thread: A Real-Life Example of a Communication Breakthrough

20:58 Responding to “Why Should I Be the One Doing All the Work?”

​​24:14 Believing in Yourself & Doing the Inner Work: What Makes a Neurodiverse Relationship Work

26:58 Her Husband’s Self-Awareness Breakthrough

28:53 Letting Go of Codependency in Neurodiverse Relationships

33:04 Coming Up Next: More Wisdom from Laura in Part 2

✨ About Laura Schreiner:

Laura Schreiner is a licensed professional counselor in Illinois who specializes in working with neurodivergent adults and couples. Her expertise is deeply personal—Laura discovered in 2017 that her husband is autistic, a revelation that reshaped both her personal and professional life.

Certified in Neurodiverse Couples Therapy through the Asperger/Autism Network (AANE), Laura combines over 15 years of clinical experience with firsthand insight into the unique dynamics of neurodiverse relationships. She is currently developing new ways to educate and support the neurodiverse community on how brain wiring differences shape communication, connection, and partnership.

To follow Laura’s work or get in touch, visit laurasnc.com.

👉 Real stories. Tangible strategies. Watch more honest conversations from Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29

💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App

Want help understanding each other’s neurotypes in everyday situations? The NeuroTranslator app offers on-demand explanations to help reduce conflict and increase connection. Built by an autistic husband to bridge communication gaps between neurotypes. Save 30% with promo code JODI.

🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai

#communicationchallenges #codependencyrecovery #emotionalboundaries #marriageadvice #selfawareness

—

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd

Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:

https://jodicarlton.com 

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!

Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

From masking to neurodiverse marriage, bestselling author J.D. Barker gets real about life as an autistic adult.

In this podcast episode, neurodiverse relationship coach Jodi Carlton talks with New York Times bestselling author JDBarker, who shares what was like for him to navigate life, love, and fatherhood - and autism. From high-stakes careers in finance and IT to ghostwriting blockbusters and becoming a full-time novelist, J.D. reflects on how autism has shaped his relationships, routines, and creative process.

He also gets candid about building a neurodiverse marriage with his neurotypical wife, parenting a neurodivergent daughter, and the personal growth that came with learning to embrace—not mask—his autistic traits.

💬 What you’ll hear in this episode:

The surprising way J.D. was diagnosed with autism at 22 Why masking often feels like “playing a part” in social settings How he and his wife created emotional safety and mutual respect in their marriage What it looks like to be a team—not adversaries—as neurodiverse partners The “loop-closing” need in autistic brains—and how it affects everyday routines Why creativity is often misunderstood in autism (and how it became his superpower) What he tells parents of autistic children about what’s possible for their future.

Whether you’re autistic, in a neurodiverse relationship, or parenting a neurodivergent child, this conversation is full of practical insights, encouragement, and inspiration for anyone navigating the complexities of autism in adulthood and family life.

00:00 Welcome to Season 5

00:57 Meet J.D. Barker

01:37 J.D.’s Diagnosis Story

03:12 Life as an Autistic Adult

06:02 Autism & Parenting a Neurodivergent Child

08:23 Understanding ND Traits in Relationships

10:25 From Corporate Burnout to Bestselling Author: How J.D.’s Wife Helped Him Reclaim His Life

19:52 Creativity, Career & the Autistic Brain

22:24 J.D.’s Superpower: Mimicking Author Voices

23:04 Becoming a Bestselling Author

24:25 Breaking the Creativity Myth in Autism

26:14 The Writing Process & Pattern Recognition

28:29 Researching Characters & Emotional Nuance

30:32 Emotional Differences in a Neurodiverse Marriage

32:24 Communication, Trust & Mutual Respect

36:06 Advice for Autistic Creatives

37:21 Final Reflections

🎥 Keep watching to explore more episodes in Season 5 and discover how other neurodiverse couples are navigating life, love, and everything in between. https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 

📚 About J.D. Barker:

J.D. Barker is a New York Times and international bestselling author known for gripping, genre-blending thrillers that weave suspense, horror, mystery, and science fiction into unforgettable stories. His acclaimed novels include Dracul (co-authored with Dacre Stoker), the 4MK series, and multiple collaborations with James Patterson, such as The Coast-to-Coast Murders and The Noise.

Explore his books and learn more: www.jdbarker.com 

________

👩‍💼 About Your Host:

Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses: https://jodicarlton.com

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!

Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

What keeps neurodiverse marriages from falling apart—and what helps them grow stronger over time? In Part 2 of this honest and hope-filled conversation, Stephanie & Dan Holmes return to share deeper insights on what makes neurodiverse relationships work—and what often makes them break down.

From emotional triggers to unspoken resentments, rigid belief systems to religious conditioning, they dive into the patterns that can quietly erode a relationship—and how curiosity, boundaries, and a growth mindset can bring real repair.

💬 You’ll hear real-life insights about:

This is a must-watch/must-listen for anyone wondering how to stay connected when perspectives clash, progress feels slow, or your relationship feels stuck in a loop.

00:00 – Welcome to Season Five

00:57 – Introducing Dan and Stephanie Holmes

01:24 – Navigating Triggers & Setting Boundaries That Work

03:50 – How Conflict Shows Up in Neurodiverse Relationships

08:32 – Faith & Friction: When Religion Complicates Your Marriage

18:10 – Reconstructing Faith & Rethinking Marriage Roles

20:26 – Deal Breakers That Derail Neurodiverse Relationships

24:00 – Why Being Teachable Matters More Than Being Right

27:41 – About the Book: Research, Real Stories & Practical Help

29:07 – What the Research Reveals About ND Couples

29:57 – Unintentional Abuse: Where the Line Gets Crossed

33:48 – Embracing Differences Instead of Fighting Them

35:05 – Why Growth Mindset Is Non-Negotiable in ND Marriage

36:56 – Final Thoughts: Learning, Changing & Staying Curious

37:37 – Wrap-Up + Where to Learn More

✨ About Stephanie & Dan Holmes:

Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Ed.D, MA, BCCC is a Certified Autism Specialist, neurodiverse marriage therapist, ordained minister, and former licensed professional counselor. When her daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Stephanie’s professional focus shifted to serving neurodiverse families and couples. She is the founder of Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family and co-founder (with Dan) of The International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage. She co-hosts the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast and coaches couples worldwide.

Rev. Dan Holmes, MCS is a seasoned systems architect, ordained minister, and Master Life Coach who specializes in coaching neurodivergent men. He blends technical expertise with coaching and ministry. Dan received his autism diagnosis later in life in 2019, which deeply informs his perspective and work.

📚 Explore Stephanie’s and Dan’s books: 

“Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism and Faith”

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uniquely-us-stephanie-c-holmes/1146104450?ean=9781636985435 

“Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey”

https://www.holmesasr.com/embracing-the-autism-spectrum 

🎧 Listen to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356

📩 Connect with Stephanie: [email protected] 

📩 Connect with Dan: [email protected] 

👉 Want to hear more real stories and strategies? Watch the rest of Season 5: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLSyXJdjUav7qLvkJFwE-KcG73-Fzuzu29 

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd

Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and lived experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner and raising neurodivergent children, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work—and the pitfalls that can derail them. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

👉 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses:

https://jodicarlton.com 

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share!

Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships.

Can a neurodiverse marriage actually work when communication constantly breaks down? If you’ve ever felt like you and your partner are speaking two different languages—especially in an autism or ADHD relationship—this episode is for you. Stephanie & Dan Holmes share how they redefined their roles at home, and used coaching to rebuild connection, reduce resentment, and finally feel like a team again.

💬 You’ll hear real-life insights about: Why they left using a therapy model and started coaching instead The power of building individual skills before focusing on teamwork as a couple How Dan taking over cooking reduced Stephanie’s mental load Bridging different emotional processing styles Learning to “sit with each other’s emotions” instead of fixing them Why sometimes you need to “put it in the unsolved mystery file” This episode is part of Season 5 of the YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast, exploring the question: “Can neurodiverse relationships work?” The answer? Yes—with the right tools, support, and a willingness to learn what actually works for YOU as a couple.

Stephanie and Dan open up about what it really takes to navigate marriage as a neurodiverse couple—and how their faith, coaching, and intentional communication helped them overcome communication breakdowns and challenges related to autism and ADHD.

00:00 – Can Neurodiverse Relationships Really Work?

01:44 – Meet Stephanie & Dan Holmes

03:39 – Why Coaching Helped When Therapy Didn’t

08:03 – What We Mean by Neurodiverse: ADHD, Autism & More

11:05 – Rethinking Gender Roles: A System That Worked for Them

13:20 – The Mental Load & How Cooking Changed Everything

17:57 – “I Don’t Need You to Fix It—I Need You to Be Irrational With Me”

20:00 – Emotions as Data: Why Logic Isn’t Always the Answer

22:08 – The “Delta” Fight: How Literal vs. Emotional Thinking Clashes

25:14 – The Hospital Story: Why Being Present Mattered Most

32:27 – Revisiting Old Conflicts Without Re-Traumatizing

37:52 – What They’ve Learned & What’s Coming in Part 2

✨ About Stephanie & Dan Holmes:

Rev. Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes, Ed.D, MA, BCCC is a Certified Autism Specialist, neurodiverse marriage therapist, ordained minister, and former licensed professional counselor. When their daughter was diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, Stephanie’s professional focus shifted to serving neurodiverse families and couples. Stephanie is the founder of Autism Spectrum Resources for Marriage & Family and co-founder (with Dan) of The International Association of NeuroDiverse Christian Marriage. She co-hosts the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast and coaches couples around the world navigating the complexities of faith and neurodiversity in marriage.

Rev. Dan Holmes, MCS is a seasoned systems architect, ordained minister, and Master Life Coach who specializes in working with neurodivergent men. Dan blends technical expertise with coaching and ministry experience. He received his autism diagnosis later in life in 2019, which deeply informs his work and perspective.

📚 Explore Stephanie’s and Dan’s books:

“Uniquely Us: Gracefully Navigating the Maze of Neurodiverse Marriage, Autism and Faith” https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/uniquely-us-stephanie-c-holmes/1146104450?ean=9781636985435 

“Embracing the Autism Spectrum: Finding Hope & Joy Navigating the NeuroDiverse Family Journey” https://www.holmesasr.com/embracing-the-autism-spectrum 

🎧 Listen to the NeuroDiverse Christian Couples podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/neurodiverse-christian-couples--4992356 

📩 Connect with Stephanie: [email protected]

📩 Connect with Dan: [email protected] 

💬 NEW! Try the NeuroTranslator App - Save 30% with promo code JODI.

🔗 https://www.neurotranslator.ai

#neurodiverserelationships #challengesofautism #ADHD #communicationbreakdowns #genderroles #neurodiversemarriage #relationshipcoaching

—

👩‍💼 About Your Host: Jodi Carlton, MEd Jodi Carlton is a neurodiverse relationship coach with over 20 years of experience as a therapist, coach, author, and educator. She’s also neurodivergent herself—diagnosed with ADHD as an adult—and brings both professional expertise and personal experience to her work. After 19 years in a marriage with an autistic partner, raising neurodivergent children, and discovering that nearly her entire extended family is neurodiverse, Jodi developed a deeply personal understanding of what it takes for relationships like yours to work - and she understands the devastating pitfalls that threaten neurodiverse couples. She now coaches individuals, couples, and families around the world using a solution-focused approach that delivers real clarity and lasting change.

🎧 Explore more episodes, free resources, quizzes, and courses at: 👉 https://jodicarlton.com

🔔 Don’t Forget to Like, Subscribe & Share! Your support helps us reach more people navigating life in neurodiverse relationships. 

In this powerful Part 2 episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast (Season 5), neurodiverse relationship expert Jodi Carlton continues her candid conversation with married couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb.

Together, they open up about: - Navigating ADHD and demand avoidance in marriage - Overcoming anxious and avoidant attachment styles - What happens when one partner is an overfunctioner - Burnout, masking, and learning to communicate better - The difference between acceptance and accommodation - Red flags vs. recoverable challenges in neurodiverse relationships.

👉 Here's Part 1 in case you missed it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LVdE9-xbzKI 

🔹 Timestamps:

00:00 – Introduction to Season Five

00:57 – Welcome to Part 2 with Luke & Lauren

01:11 – Challenges and Realizations in Marriage

01:42 – Understanding ADHD and Attachment Styles

03:54 – The Role of Communication

06:55 – Personality Differences and the Enneagram

11:41 – Shifting Roles and Responsibilities

14:47 – Facing Trauma Together

18:36 – Balancing Support and Independence

22:50 – Navigating Demand Avoidance in Relationships

24:07 – Understanding Overfunctioning and Burnout

26:27 – Addressing Imbalance in Effort and Insight

28:09 – Recognizing Abusive Patterns and Seeking Help

32:02 – The Importance of Acceptance and Safety

37:39 – Final Thoughts and Relationship Advice

44:42 – Conclusion and Neurodiversity Resources

___________________

👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships.

I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships.

Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer:

💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage.

💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most.

🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change.

🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts

💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe.

📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity!

📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton 

In this powerful episode of Your Neurodiverse Relationship Podcast Season 5, host Jodi Carlton sits down with trauma healing experts and married neurodiverse couple Luke and Lauren Smallcomb, who live in Thailand and run a worldwide trauma-healing practice called Flourish Therapy.

Together, they open up about their own marriage, healing past trauma, working through attachment styles, and what it really takes to make a neurodiverser elationship not only work—but thrive. They also share their professional insights into neuroplasticity, rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), attachment wounds, and how their personal growth journey empowered them to help other couples navigate similar challenges.

👉 This is Part 1 of a 2-part conversation, so be sure to subscribe and stay tuned for Part 2!

🔹 Timestamps: 00:00 – Welcome to Season 5: Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work?

00:57 – Meet Luke & Lauren Smallcomb: Trauma coaches living in Thailand 02:58 – Lauren’s journey from nursing to trauma & brain healing through neuroplasticity

04:08 – What is neuroplasticity & how does trauma impact the brain?

05:50 – Luke’s path to counseling & the impact of neuroscience on his practice

09:54 – Starting their own practice, Flourish Therapy

13:29 – How lived experience changes how you show up professionally 14:04 – Having a better understanding of neurodiversity. Moving away from a disease model

15:37 – Lauren and Luke open up about their own marriage

16:42 – Understanding capacity in a neurodiverse relationship

17:40 – Luke shares early misunderstandings from masking and social fatigue 18:18 – How rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) affected their communication

22:05 – Attachment styles & the over-/under-functioning dynamic

27:12 – Stay tuned for Part 2 in the next episode!

More About Luke & Lauren

Luke is a Mental Health Practitioner, and Lauren is a Mind-Body Practitioner. The heart of their work is guiding folks who have experienced trauma out of dysregulation and chronic symptoms into joy, connection, and whole-body abundance. Their work is neuro-affirming and abuse-informed. Together, they cohost the Filled to Flourish podcast, where they explore the complex journey of healing and wholeness, especially for those whose lives haven’t been what they expected. Luke and Lauren live with their kids and dogs in Chiang Mai, Thailand.

https://flourishtherapy.co/

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👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships.

I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships.

Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer:

💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP!

Use Code "JODI" to Save 30% https://neurotranslator.ai 

A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage.

💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most.

🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change.

🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform. You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts

💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe.

📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity! Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on #neurodiversity!

📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton

Can Neurodiverse Relationships Work? 💙 In this episode, a panel of neurodiverse relationship experts—therapists, coaches, and authors—share real insights and proven strategies to help neurodiverse couples thrive.

What You’ll Learn:

👉 Success stories from neurodiverse couples

👉 How nervous system regulation impacts relationships

👉 The role of language, expectations & teamwork

👉 Key strategies for overcoming challenges

Meet the Experts in This Episode:

🔹 Laura Schreiner – Licensed counselor (IL) specializing in neurodivergent individuals & couples. https://www.laurasnc.com/

🔹 Jana Smith – Resilience & nervous system coach, expert in chronic illness & Cassandra Syndrome recovery. https://www.janamsmith.com/

🔹 Natalie Roberts – Award-winning neurodiverse relationship coach, co-founder of Loving Difference & co-host of Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://natalieroberts.com/

🔹 Heather Parks – Somatic coach specializing in neurodiverse families, co-host of Loving Difference & Myth Busting Neurodiverse Relationships. https://heatherparks.co.uk/

🔹 Mona Kay, MSW, Ph.D. – Host of Neurodiverse Love Podcast, creator of Neurodiverse Love Conversation Cards & Workbook, and organizer of the Neurodiverse Love Conference. https://www.neurodiverselove.com/

🔹 Heidi Hackney – ICF-certified coach, mentor, & co-founder of Autistic Voiceover Artists (AVA), supporting autistic adults in the voiceover industry. https://thecan-docoach.com/

🔹 Dr. Stephanie C. Holmes – Autism researcher, ordained minister, author of Uniquely Us, and host of Neurodiverse Christian Couples Podcast. https://www.holmesasr.com/

🔹 Robin Tate, M.A., M.S., BCC, ACC, CAS – Neurodiverse couples coach, certified autism specialist, and founder of Robin Tate LLC. https://www.robintatellc.com/

🔹 Barbara Grant, MMFT, CAS, NDCC – Neurodiverse couples coach, co-host of Neurodiverse Couples Coaches Corner, and co-author of Uniquely Us. https://bg-hc.com/

🔹 Debbie King – Counselor specializing in neurodiverse relationships, trauma, & toxic family dynamics, offering global support via Zoom. https://www.facebook.com/WellingboroughCounsellor/

🔹 David Glick – Founder of Triad Psych in Marietta, GA, a clinic specializing in neurodiversity, learning disabilities, and ADHD. Former special education teacher with a Master's in Special Ed and Social Work, he has worked in the mental health field for over 20 years. https://triadpsych.org/

🔔 Subscribe & Follow for expert insights, personal stories, and actionable relationship advice.

___________________

👩‍💼 Hi, I'm #JodiCarlton !! I am a seasoned professional with 20+ years of experience as a therapist and relationship coach specializing in neurodiverse relationships.

I AM NEURODIVERGENT: I discovered as an adult that I am #ADHD, and I was married to an autistic man for 19 years. I also had other neurodiverse romantic relationships and have an autistic daughter and an ADHD son. Through the years, I have realized that my entire extended family is neurodivergent. My relationships with neurodiverse family and friends have been my personal training ground for understanding and helping partners and couples in their own relationships.

Below are some of the neurodivergent resources I offer:

💬 TRY THE NEW NEUROTRANSLATOR APP! https://neurotranslator.ai A client once told me "I need JodiGPT." Well, this is as close as you're gonna get. This app provides a detailed explanation of each neurotype's expectations and perspectives on any situation you're in. Use it in your relationships to minimize conflict and understand each other better! Developed by Michael Daniel who is autistic and wanted help in his own neurodiverse marriage.

💻 QUIZZES: https://jodicarlton.com/take-a-quiz/ Take free quizzes about neurodivergence, autism, toxic relationship dynamics, and learn which resources will benefit you the most.

🤩 CONSULTATIONS/COACHING: https://jodicarlton.com/private-coaching/ I coach individuals, couples, and families worldwide using a solution-focused approach that results in life-altering answers and real change.

🎙 PODCAST: https://jodicarlton.com/podcast Listen to the "YOUR Neurodiverse Relationship" podcast. It's been downloaded in over 70 countries on your favorite podcast platform . You can also watch it here on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JodiCarlton/podcasts 

💁‍♀️ COURSES: https://jodicarlton.com/courses Work at your own pace in my self-study courses. Gain access to the world's first communication model that facilitates life-altering clarity and change. Discover if your partner or relationship is toxic and unsafe.

📖 BLOG: https://jodicarlton.com/blog Browse through articles about executive functioning, masking, narcissism, communication, and so much more.

Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on neurodiversity!

📱 Connect with me: LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jodicarlton