This week, Matt meets a taller, better-looking version of himself! Chris is thoroughly humiliated! The podcast gets an official mascot! This week’s Wild Card is delightfully cruel!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of the User-generated Interactive Fiction for Young Readers or Episode of The Godzilla Power Hour Quiz (thanks, Ty!), Chris presents the new segment Let’s Roll a Monster (pdf is below!), plans are in the works for some Deep Dish Dungeon Pepperoni Punishment, and from here on out all chrissions are mandatory!

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Illustration by Matt

O yay o yay o yay! It’s Fey Day! Or at least it was a few days ago! Let’s all go rescue a princess! This week, Chris cowers in a cleaning closet! So does Matt! How much of exactly the same thing do they do? Bet you can guess!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to take a “What Type of Fae are You” quiz, Chris makes Matt do a Fey Day Surprise Karaoke AGAIN, and there’s only two endings left! Will they finish the book? You probably already know the answer to that!

The Fairy Kidnap, Week 1!

The Fairy Kidnap, Week 2!

The Fairy Kidnap, Week 3!

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Illustrations by Ron Wing

This week, Chris witnesses something never before seen by human eyes, and Matt gets some good ol’ fashioned satire. Also, Earth explodes!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of Interactive Fiction or Monster Truck (thanks, Adam!), Matt Arts the Book, and there’s an awful lot of ice cream and peanut butter talk! Crunches are good! Chris is wrong!

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Illustration by Matt

This week, Chris unleashes an unstoppable army that spells doom for humankind! Twice! Matt stabs an old friend in the eye! And it’s a totally “live” call-in “show”!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of the One Word Switch Quiz: Monster Edition, it’s totally the Pi episode (because of the episode number isn’t that fun?!), an honorment is bestowed, and the guys finally get asked who they would be in the Star Wars universe and they nearly fall apart!

Discord is so Hot Right Now

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Illustration by Matt

It’s the final week of Wild Card reversies and Matt pulled a doozy! Chris saves a deer! Monsters can be friends! There’s singing but please manage your expectations!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of the First Sentence Quiz: Musical Edition (thanks, Shrimp Dignity!), Matt tests Chris’ brain reflexes with some Nerd Association, and there is definitely some musical in here but be warned – it is not impressive!

Discord is so Hot Right Now

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Illustration by Matt

Chris finds himself in yet another How to Train a Dragon remake, Matt learns that doing the right thing is for “suckers,” and it’s Lovey-Dovey day but we don’t lean super hard into it but the quiz is kind of lovey-dovey so happy day if you’re into it!

Also, Matt challenges Chris to a round of Interactive Fiction or Potentially Problematic Valentine’s Day Gift, Chris drops a gnarly Finish It! Finds It so you never have to try a Taco Bell Dirty Baja Blast, and the infusiasm is so thick you can practically taste it!

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Illustration by Matt

Chris tastes flight with the ManBats yet again, but in a very different way! Matt goes to jail and saves the whales! Someone gets a jump on a future endeavor! And there’s a pirate submarine!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of Interactive Fiction or Song by 311 because it’s episode #311, Matt has some Steamin’ Hot Takes to drop, Yogi Bear is basically Walter White, and IT IS NOT A BIT!

Discord is so Hot Right Now

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Illustration by Paul Granger

Bill and Dani from Escape This Podcast, Solve This Murder and more are back to celebrate with the guys! Matt boned up on previous reads, but a rogue Wild Card means he can’t help! Will new endings be found? WILL WE EVER FINISH THIS BOOK?!

Also, the whole team does some resolution choosing, Dani and Bill challenges the guys to probably the coolest quiz to date, and a truly classic running gag is revealed (hint: it involves an archeologist 1,000 years from now)!

Go Listen to All of Dani and Bill’s Creations at Consume This Media!

Listen to Week 5 of Struggle Down Under!

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Original illustrations by S. Burphon, S. Yaweera, & J. Donploypetch.

Chris finds an unexpected new life down a dark hole! Matt watches a bus full of schoolchildren get eaten! Everyone is shirking responsibility for their actions! Happy New Year!

Also, Chris challenges Matt to a round of Interactive Fiction or Episode of the Animated Godzilla TV Show, Matt takes us on a trip to Self Care Corner, and you’ll never guess which monsters have large human torsos! And legs!

Discord is so Hot Right Now

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Illustration by Matt

Krampus is back and he’s got a song in his “heart”! The guys read a new wintery book by “special request”! Everyone’s all “Daryl in the Halls and John in the Oates”! It’s a “gnarly” Choosemastime!

Also, someone is a sweety widdle kitty cat, Chris foists a Surprise Holiday Caroloke on Matt, Matt challenges Chris to a round of Interactive Fiction or Scary Place Krampus Said He Would Drag Turd Brother To While He Was Asleep and He Would Wake Up There and Be So Scared, and our older friend Dan gets help with a move – NOT!

On Krampus Days, these Krampus Days
We celebrate Your glory
Lord Krampus Beast, great Krampus Beast,
We hail your gory story
Your sulphur stench withers our youth,
Your seven tongues can taste our truth
Your visage at my windowsill;
I close my eyes yet see you still
On Krampus Days, these Krampus Days
We worship Your true Power
On Krampus Days we offer You
Our sanity to devour
Your poison crown of dripping horns
Will rid us of our human forms
Oh Krampus Thing, Great Krampus Thing
You are the One True Winter King

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Illustration by Tom La Padula