Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Flexible Expectations and Modern Friendships with Author Anna Goldfarb


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If you’re having a bad day, try bragging about a friend. Talk about that thing they did and why they’re so great – it will turn your whole day around.

Today I’m bragging about my new friend Anna Goldfarb, author of Modern Friendships, which is about the nuances of adult friendships. Anna is a journalist whose reporting has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, The Washington Post and Vox. Her book is absolutely amazing.

You’ll find we have lots of overlap in the ways we think about friendship, but of course, we are different people, and she provides slightly different perspectives and language on the topic. 

Today’s episode was such a delightful conversation; it felt like we could talk forever. If you like what I put out on this podcast, be sure to buy her book!


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • The topic of friendship over the last few years, which became magnified during and after the pandemic
  • Friendship strategies that are outdated in today’s super fluid society, putting people in positions where they can’t commit
  • How Anna’s research impacted her relationship with her sister and her own friendships
  • The importance of having flexible expectations as you and your friends move into different phases of life
  • The thing that’s flattening our friendships that our ancestors didn’t have to deal with and the amount of time it actually takes to develop close relationships


Resources & Links:

Sign up for Anna’s newsletter and buy her book, Modern Friendships: How to Nurture Our Most Valued Connections.

Want to hear more about flexible friendship expectations? Check out Episode 33, “The New Version of Friendship,” and Episode 45, about friendship demotions.

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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