Perhaps one of the reasons why forgiveness is so hard is because forgiveness often requires us to let go before we are ready. Forgiveness causes us to accept this reality that sometimes we have to leave behind our desire to know why they said those words, and why they acted in that way, and why these feelings still linger today. But one thing we don't leave behind is abundant, grace filled room to heal anyway.

The past will not change, and we can heal anyway. Some doors are permanently closed, and we can heal anyway. Learning to breathe in the hallway, even before our mourning turns into dancing. This is forgiveness as a practice. This is what forgiveness feels like - when we realize that it is okay if those feelings of anger, resentment, bitterness, and hurt don't go away all at once.

Moving on doesn't happen all at once. This work takes time, investment, and courage to stay present. Because right here, on the other side of what happened, is this present moment. And in this present moment, we are free to practice forgiveness - practice letting it go. For in this space, this remains true: we don't leave peace behind us. Peace, which is room to breathe, is a gloriously divine continuum that keeps finding us over and over again, steadying our souls, reminding us that no matter what we fear, we can still practice letting go, right here. Right here there is room for our heavy hearts to see. Even when we do not get the answers we were longing for the peace we are seeking is still rising slowly and steadily all around us.

For the hurt that we feel might linger a little longer than we want it to. And it might find us in the middle of the afternoon when the smallest sliver of a memory takes us back. But in that moment, we also find we are free to exhale. At last, we are free to exhale. There might be a grudge, there might be a memory that won't seem to fade, and at the same exact time: there is also today to realize that forgiveness does not make you weak. Forgiveness does not mean you accept or approve everything. Forgiveness is a practice of letting go, being free, realizing that the past does not have a permanent hold on who you are right now.

Journal: Have you ever done something that others might perceive as weak, but it was actually strong?

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