Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Friendship Demotions (and How To Build Even Better Friendships)


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Recently, somebody asked me how to go about friendship demotions.

I think it’s super common to go through a season in friendships where things feel good – and then, something changes. We aren’t talking about these friendship shifts enough. But “demoting” a friend has a bad feeling to it. Instead, what if we talked about building a better version of friendship for right now?

That’s what today’s episode is about – reframing the idea of a friendship demotion and offering 3 "do-the-work" options.

It will likely take time for these changes to become normal, but I hope this episode provides insight into how you might create new, beautiful versions of your friendships that suit your lives right now.

In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • Friendship as a “plate” with things that keep getting added onto it – which often isn’t sustainable long-term
  • Getting more specific about what we expect from our friends and what they expect from us, and allowing for adjustments as time goes on
  • Questions to ask yourself, such as, what do you enjoy about this friendship? How do you feel most supported by it?  What’s meaningful about it to you?
  • The myth of the no-sweat, no-conflict relationship, and asking yourself what work you’re willing to do
  • Focusing on feelings in the midst of friendship conflicts and brainstorming how you both can “win”

Resources & Links

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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