In this deeply emotional episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Cousins, author of Just One Child, to talk honestly about secondary infertility, failed IVF cycles, mental health, grief, and what it means to come to terms with building a family with one child when that was not the plan.

This conversation was not an easy one to prepare for or to record. Catherine shares her story with such openness, including her experience of a cancer diagnosis within her family, IVF after having a child naturally, a mental health breakdown following a failed cycle, and the long road towards acceptance.

If you are currently in treatment, living with secondary infertility, or facing decisions about stopping treatment, this episode may resonate deeply. We talk about grief that is often unseen, the isolation that comes with this experience, and why it is so rarely spoken about.

If this is not the right time for you to listen, please come back when you feel ready.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. What secondary infertility can look like when you already have a child
2. How a cancer diagnosis changed Catherine’s fertility journey overnight
3. IVF after having a child naturally and the emotional complexity that brings
4. The mental health impact of failed cycles and untreated grief
5. Why many people do not feel able to talk about secondary infertility
6. Shame, isolation, and feeling undeserving of support because you have a child
7. How grief can exist for the family you imagined but could not have
8. The strain fertility treatment can place on relationships
9. Deciding when to stop treatment and how hard that decision can be
10. Marking the end of treatment and finding closure in your own way
11. Parenting while grieving and the guilt that can come with it
12. Navigating comments, questions, and assumptions from others
13. Reframing the narrative around being a family with one child
14. Finding acceptance without pretending it does not still hurt

About Catherine and her book

Catherine Cousins is the author of Just One Child, a powerful and compassionate book about secondary infertility, loss, and redefining family when further treatment is not possible or no longer feels right.

Her book explores the emotional, social, and psychological impact of coming to terms with having one child when you hoped for more, and gives voice to an experience that is often overlooked.

You can find Catherine and her work here:

1. Just One Child on Amazon
2. Catherine on Facebook

A gentle note

This episode includes discussion of failed IVF cycles, mental health breakdowns, grief, and decisions to stop treatment. Please take care of yourself while listening.

There is no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to secondary infertility. Your experience is valid.

Support from our sponsors

Access Fertility

If the financial side of IVF feels overwhelming, Access Fertility offers interest free loans, multi cycle treatment packages, and refund programmes that can help make treatment more manageable. They work with over 60 clinics across the UK to help you access care when you need it.

Find out more at: https://www.accessfertility.com/thefp

One Day Tests

If you are trying to conceive or fertility curious, One Day Tests offers online fertility consultations and blood testing with fertility specialists. You can discuss results, get clarity on next steps, and receive written notes after your appointment.

Use code FERT10 for 10 percent off your blood test.

Book at: https://www.onedaytests.com

Let’s keep the conversation going

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
3. Learn more about support and advocacy at Fertility Action
4. Subscribe on your podcast app so you never miss an episode
5. Share this episode with someone who may feel seen by this conversation

Thank you for listening and for trusting this space with such tender parts of your story. Secondary infertility can feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone.

Until next time.