In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Dr Carole Gilling-Smith, Medical Director of The Agora Clinic and Trustee of Fertility Action, to talk about family building within the LGBTQ+ community.

If you are part of the LGBTQ+ community and thinking about becoming a parent, or you love someone who is, this episode is a practical starting point. We talk about treatment pathways, donor conception, fertility preservation, NHS inequality, and how to make sure you are supported properly by a clinic that understands your needs.

This is about education, empowerment and knowing your options.

What we cover in this episode

1. Why fertility equality on the NHS is still not where it should be
2. The postcode lottery affecting IVF funding
3. Why three full IVF cycles should be the national standard
4. The additional financial barriers faced by same sex couples
5. Why six self funded IUIs before NHS eligibility is deeply problematic
6. The risks of sourcing donor sperm online
7. Choosing between known donors and donor banks
8. How clinics should approach inclusive paperwork and language
9. Why pronouns and preferred names matter in clinical settings
10. Shared motherhood and reciprocal IVF
11. Fertility testing for both partners before deciding who carries
12. Supporting gay male couples through complex pathways involving egg donation and surrogacy
13. Working with the trans community around fertility preservation
14. Preserving sperm or eggs before starting hormone treatment
15. The emotional impact of genetic connection and non biological parenting
16. Why counselling is essential before treatment begins
17. Supporting patients who fear internal examinations or surgical environments
18. Creating clinic spaces that feel safe, calm and inclusive

About Dr Carole Gilling-Smith

Dr Carole Gilling-Smith is the Medical Director of The Agora Clinic, one of the UK’s leading fertility clinics for the LGBTQ+ community, based in Brighton and Hove.

She is also a founding Trustee of Fertility Action, the UK charity campaigning for fertility equality and better access to treatment.

Carole has been a long standing advocate for:

1. Equal NHS funding for fertility treatment
2. Inclusive fertility care for LGBTQ+ patients
3. Fertility education in schools and universities
4. Fertility preservation for the trans community

You can find out more here:

1. The Agora Clinic
2. Fertility Action

A note on donor sperm and online routes

We discuss the growing number of people sourcing donor sperm online due to cost barriers.

Carole explains why this carries significant risks, including:

1. Lack of medical screening
2. No infectious disease screening
3. No genetic testing
4. Legal parenthood complications
5. Potential financial liability issues

If you are considering donor conception, please ensure you fully understand the medical and legal implications.

Fertility preservation for the trans community

Since 2019, NHS guidance states that individuals starting hormone treatment should be offered the opportunity to preserve sperm or eggs beforehand.

Carole explains:

1. Why this conversation needs to happen early
2. How egg or sperm freezing works
3. Why preservation can be empowering
4. The importance of specialist, experienced clinics
5. The emotional impact of being offered choice

If you or someone you know is starting transition and has not been offered fertility preservation, please ask.

Support from our sponsors

Access Fertility

If you are worried about the cost of IVF, Access Fertility partners with over 60 UK clinics to offer interest free finance, multi cycle packages and refund programmes.

Find out more at:

https://www.accessfertility.com/thefp

One Day Tests

Book a confidential online consultation with a fertility specialist and discuss hormone testing and next steps.

Use code FERT10 for 10 percent off your blood test.

https://www.onedaytests.com

Let’s keep the conversation going

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Learn more about workplace fertility support at:
3. https://fertilitymattersatwork.com
4. Explore Fertility Action’s campaigns and support groups:
5. https://fertilityaction.org
6. Subscribe to the podcast so new episodes land straight in your feed

If this episode has helped you, please share it with someone who might need it. Education and visibility matter.

Thank you for listening.

In this deeply emotional episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Cousins, author of Just One Child, to talk honestly about secondary infertility, failed IVF cycles, mental health, grief, and what it means to come to terms with building a family with one child when that was not the plan.

This conversation was not an easy one to prepare for or to record. Catherine shares her story with such openness, including her experience of a cancer diagnosis within her family, IVF after having a child naturally, a mental health breakdown following a failed cycle, and the long road towards acceptance.

If you are currently in treatment, living with secondary infertility, or facing decisions about stopping treatment, this episode may resonate deeply. We talk about grief that is often unseen, the isolation that comes with this experience, and why it is so rarely spoken about.

If this is not the right time for you to listen, please come back when you feel ready.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. What secondary infertility can look like when you already have a child
2. How a cancer diagnosis changed Catherine’s fertility journey overnight
3. IVF after having a child naturally and the emotional complexity that brings
4. The mental health impact of failed cycles and untreated grief
5. Why many people do not feel able to talk about secondary infertility
6. Shame, isolation, and feeling undeserving of support because you have a child
7. How grief can exist for the family you imagined but could not have
8. The strain fertility treatment can place on relationships
9. Deciding when to stop treatment and how hard that decision can be
10. Marking the end of treatment and finding closure in your own way
11. Parenting while grieving and the guilt that can come with it
12. Navigating comments, questions, and assumptions from others
13. Reframing the narrative around being a family with one child
14. Finding acceptance without pretending it does not still hurt

About Catherine and her book

Catherine Cousins is the author of Just One Child, a powerful and compassionate book about secondary infertility, loss, and redefining family when further treatment is not possible or no longer feels right.

Her book explores the emotional, social, and psychological impact of coming to terms with having one child when you hoped for more, and gives voice to an experience that is often overlooked.

You can find Catherine and her work here:

1. Just One Child on Amazon
2. Catherine on Facebook

A gentle note

This episode includes discussion of failed IVF cycles, mental health breakdowns, grief, and decisions to stop treatment. Please take care of yourself while listening.

There is no right or wrong way to feel when it comes to secondary infertility. Your experience is valid.

Support from our sponsors

Access Fertility

If the financial side of IVF feels overwhelming, Access Fertility offers interest free loans, multi cycle treatment packages, and refund programmes that can help make treatment more manageable. They work with over 60 clinics across the UK to help you access care when you need it.

Find out more at: https://www.accessfertility.com/thefp

One Day Tests

If you are trying to conceive or fertility curious, One Day Tests offers online fertility consultations and blood testing with fertility specialists. You can discuss results, get clarity on next steps, and receive written notes after your appointment.

Use code FERT10 for 10 percent off your blood test.

Book at: https://www.onedaytests.com

Let’s keep the conversation going

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
3. Learn more about support and advocacy at Fertility Action
4. Subscribe on your podcast app so you never miss an episode
5. Share this episode with someone who may feel seen by this conversation

Thank you for listening and for trusting this space with such tender parts of your story. Secondary infertility can feel incredibly lonely, but you are not alone.

Until next time.

Sex and intimacy can change dramatically when you are trying to conceive, especially when fertility treatment, loss or ongoing uncertainty is part of your life. In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Kate Moyle, psychosexual therapist, podcaster and author of The Science of Sex, to talk about how sex, desire, relationships and connection can evolve in ways we never expected when fertility becomes part of our story.

This episode touches on loss, grief and confusion. If you are not ready for that right now, please skip and come back when you are ready.

Kate brings both professional insight and compassionate understanding to one of the most normal yet least discussed parts of many people’s experience. We talk about timing, pressure, anxiety, loss, connection, expectation and how to rebuild joy and pleasure in your relationship.

Whether you are in a long term partnership, thinking about future intimacy, or trying to untangle the impact that fertility has had on your sex life, this conversation is full of practical insight and reassurance that you are not alone.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. Why sex often feels different when fertility issues are part of your life
2. How timing and pressure can change desire and connection
3. Why we often feel there is something wrong with us when intimacy changes
4. The impact of miscarriage, loss and medical trauma on sex and relationships
5. How shame and silence make it harder to ask for help
6. Reclaiming touch and connection beyond the fertility goal
7. How fertility challenges affect male partners and masculinity
8. How to bring pleasure and ease back into sex after it has become stressful
9. Why rebuilding intimacy is a process and not a quick fix

Kate Moyle is a UK based psychosexual therapist, author and public speaker whose work helps people understand sex and intimacy through a biological, psychological and social perspective. She is the author of The Science of Sex, a neutral, accessible guide to sex and sexuality designed for all bodies.

You can find Kate’s work here:

1. The Science of Sex (book) – available from major retailers and online booksellers
2. The Science of Sex podcast – listen wherever you get podcasts
3. Website

Kate’s approach is grounded in research, lived experience and curiosity. This episode is one of the most honest and compassionate conversations we have had about sex and fertility on the podcast.

Thank you to our sponors:

This episode is supported by partners who help people access care and clarity on their fertility journey.

👉Access Fertility

If you are worried about the cost of treatment, Access Fertility offers interest free loans, multi cycle packages and refund programmes to help make IVF more affordable for you. They partner with over 60 UK clinics to help you access treatment without added financial stress.

👉One Day Tests

If you want clarity on your hormones, ovulation or fertility indicators, One Day Tests offer online appointments with fertility specialists plus convenient fertility blood testing. You can discuss results with a specialist, get direction on next steps and track key hormones that matter in your journey.

Use code FERT10 at checkout for 10 percent off your blood test.

Let’s keep the conversation going

1. Follow The Fertility Podcast on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Email your thoughts or ideas: [email protected]
3. Learn more about support and community at Fertility Action
4. Subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts. It helps others find support too
5. Leave a review or share this episode with someone who needs to hear it

Thank you for listening and for being part of this community. Intimacy, connection and fertility can be hard, but you do not have to navigate it alone.

Until next time.

Trying to conceive can be incredibly isolating, especially when your friends and family just do not get it. That is why I loved this conversation with Sarah Banks, fertility coach, speaker, author, and creator of the Positivity Planner.

Sarah’s work is all about helping you feel more emotionally supported through treatment. She also has years of experience working with clinics on patient support strategies, so she sees both sides: what patients need, and what is still missing in the system.

We talked about why fertility coaching can be such a powerful complement to medical treatment, how to navigate the emotional rollercoaster of TTC, and how to protect your mental wellbeing, even when things do not go as planned.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. The power of coaching and how it can support people emotionally through treatment
2. How Sarah’s own journey inspired her work in fertility and patient experience
3. What fertility clinics are doing (and not doing) to better support patients
4. Coping with anxiety, stress, and overwhelm while TTC
5. Strategies for building resilience and staying hopeful
6. Tips for advocating for yourself in appointments and with providers
7. The Positivity Planner and how journaling can support your mental wellbeing
8. The importance of community, connection, and being heard
9. What Sarah wishes everyone struggling with infertility knew

If you are feeling like you have no one to talk to, or like you are supposed to just keep going while your heart is breaking, this one is for you.

This episode is sponsored by Access Fertility

Worried about the financial pressure of treatment? Access Fertility offers funding programmes and 0% interest finance to help ease the burden of self-funding IVF.

Their services include:

1. Loans of up to £12,000 with no interest over 12 months
2. Multi-cycle packages that can save you up to 30%
3. Refund programmes offering up to 100% back if treatment is unsuccessful
4. Partnerships with over 60 top clinics in the UK
5. Personalised advice based on your age and treatment plan

Visit accessfertility.com/thefp to learn more.

Learn more about Sarah’s work:

1. Positivity Planners
2. sarahbanks.coach

Let’s keep the conversation going:

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
3. Learn more about Fertility Coaching and Support from Sarah at sarahbanks.coach
4. Subscribe on your podcast app to stay updated
5. Leave a review or share this episode with someone who needs it

Until next time.

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Jen Elworthy, fertility career coach and Director of Engagement at Fertility Matters at Work, to explore how career coaching can support you while going through fertility treatment.

Jen joined our team in July 2025, and since then I’ve had the joy of learning from her insight, empathy and real-world experience. She has lived through the impact of ectopic pregnancy and miscarriage while working in high-pressure environments, and she shares how these experiences shaped her approach to coaching.

If you’ve ever felt stuck in your job because of your treatment, uncertain how to talk to work, or unable to see a career path that aligns with what you’re going through, this episode is for you.

What we discuss in this episode:

1. Jen’s personal fertility journey, including multiple losses and the emotional toll on her mental health and career
2. How she moved from ambitious and confident to experiencing panic attacks at work
3. The challenges of opening up to colleagues and managers during early treatment
4. The power of having just one supportive person at work who gets it
5. Her IVF survival kit and practical tips for managing during a workday
6. Why “career coaching” isn’t just for high-flyers or executives
7. Examples of how she’s helped clients through job changes, promotions, sabbaticals, and re-aligning their work-life balance
8. Her approach to resilience coaching and “bounce back ability” during treatment
9. Why therapy helped her heal, but coaching helped her move forward
10. Misconceptions about who coaching is for, and why it can be more accessible than you think
11. How Jen structured her coaching offers to meet people at different financial entry points

Jen’s support offerings include:

1. Jen is now offering Group Coaching
2. One-to-one coaching (short-term or long-term packages)
3. One-off coaching conversations
4. Employer-sponsored coaching (some clients have had it covered as part of redundancy packages)
5. Low-cost workshops (around £20–£25)
6. Free resources and templates on her website
7. Free newsletter + insights via LinkedIn and Instagram

If you're considering career coaching but aren't sure it's “for you”, this is your reminder that it’s absolutely okay to ask for help, and there are options at every level.

This episode is sponsored by Access Fertility

Worried about the financial pressure of treatment? Access Fertility offers funding programmes and 0% interest finance to help ease the burden of self-funding IVF.

Their services include:

1. Loans of up to £12,000 with no interest over 12 months
2. Multi-cycle packages that can save you up to 30%
3. Refund programmes offering up to 100% back if treatment is unsuccessful
4. Partnerships with over 60 top clinics in the UK
5. Personalised advice based on your age and treatment plan

Visit accessfertility.com/thefp to learn more.

Let’s keep the conversation going:

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Explore career coaching and free resources at: jenniferelworthy.com
3. Learn more about workplace support at: fertilitymattersatwork.com
4. Want coaching in your workplace? Reach out to us or speak to your HR team

Whether you’re holding it all together or feel like you're about to break, know this — there are people who get it, and support that fits where you are. Thank you for your ears, and until next time.

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Catherine Lightfoot, ADHD coach and founder of Rewired Circles, to talk about her experience of navigating IVF as a neurodivergent person.

Catherine was working in a senior HR role while undergoing fertility treatment and dealing with the mental load of a delayed ADHD diagnosis. She joins me to talk about the emotional toll of masking, the challenges of advocating for yourself in a system that does not always recognise neurodivergence, and the importance of creating support spaces that actually meet people where they are.

This is our first episode covering neurodivergence and fertility, and I want to thank Catherine for bringing this conversation forward. If you suspect you may be neurodivergent, or if you’ve been struggling to articulate how this process is affecting you, I hope this episode offers support and language for what you might be feeling.

1. Catherine’s delayed ADHD diagnosis and how it overlapped with her fertility journey
2. Why she and her partner opted for early fertility testing and how a surprise male factor diagnosis shifted everything
3. The emotional whiplash of having a clear process derailed by COVID delays
4. How hyperfocus, masking, and people-pleasing made it harder to ask for help
5. Overworking and pretending everything was fine while secretly undergoing injections and treatment
6. The moment she realised she could not cope alone anymore
7. What IVF felt like as a neurodivergent person and why it is easy to become overwhelmed and disconnected
8. The challenge of advocating for yourself when you are not sure what your needs are
9. The risks of masking and burnout in high-pressure jobs while going through treatment
10. Her reflections on memory loss, dysregulation, and why she misremembered the number of cycles she had
11. Why support groups are powerful but may not be the right fit for everyone at every stage
12. How Catherine’s coaching and lived experience helped her move from burnout to self-awareness
13. The shocking mental health statistics for women with ADHD and why fertility support needs to evolve
14. Why the fertility and neurodivergent overlap is an urgent area of focus for workplaces and support providers
15. Her top advice for anyone navigating fertility and ADHD, especially in silence

So many of us keep it all in. We wait until it gets really bad before we share anything. But Catherine reminds us that asking for help does not need to be dramatic or all-encompassing. You can start small. Tell one trusted colleague at work. Let one friend know. Give someone permission to be your backup or just your quiet support.

If you are masking and managing everything alone, this is your nudge to breathe, pause, and share.

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
3. Learn more about Catherine’s support and coaching at rewiredcircles.co.uk
4. Explore weekly support groups and mental health resources at fertilityaction.org
5. If you are navigating fertility while neurodivergent, reach out to Catherine or Fertility Action to explore the right support for you

If this conversation gave you language for something you have been struggling to express, or made you feel a little less alone, please subscribe, leave a review, or share the episode with someone who needs it.

Until next time.

In this episode of The Fertility Podcast, I’m joined by Hayley King, donor-conceived adult, mum of donor-conceived twins, and Operations Manager at Path to Parenthub. We’re talking about the story that made headlines last December, a sperm donor with a genetic mutation linked to cancer being used in nearly 200 conceptions across 14 countries.

This episode unpacks how this could happen, the gaps in donor regulation that allow it, and what this means for families. We also talk about the emotional, ethical, and logistical challenges of donor conception in a globalised industry, where the same donor can be used across borders with no international limits in place.

Hayley brings both personal and professional insight into how families can make informed choices, why early disclosure matters, and what changes are urgently needed to protect the next generation.

If you’re on a donor conception path or supporting someone who is, this conversation is essential listening.

1. Hayley’s experience growing up as a donor-conceived person, and what shifted when she became a parent herself
2. Why early disclosure matters and how secrecy shaped the mental health of donor-conceived people in the past
3. The UK’s 10-family donor limit and why it does not apply outside the UK
4. How one donor can be used in multiple countries with no tracking or shared system
5. The story of one donor linked to a BRCA1 cancer gene being used in nearly 200 conceptions
6. What “family limits” really mean and why they are difficult to enforce globally
7. The emotional weight of discovering you have 50 or even 100 donor siblings
8. How sperm banks and clinics are often driven by profit rather than transparency
9. What questions prospective parents can ask their clinic or sperm bank
10. Why Path to Parent Hub was created as a safe space for donor conception families
11. Hayley’s advice for parents, donors, and donor-conceived adults navigating identity and connection

While advances in genetic screening are helpful, they are not foolproof. The issue is not just medical, it is ethical. Donors should not be used to create hundreds of families across continents.

Without international family limits or shared tracking systems, donor-conceived people may unknowingly share genetics with a vast number of people worldwide. This impacts their sense of self, their safety in relationships, and their ability to connect the dots in their identity.

As Hayley says, transparency matters. Families deserve accurate information and regulated systems that put people over profit.

1. Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
2. Follow Hayley on instagram: @dcp_journey_2_rp
3. Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
4. Learn more about support groups and donor conception resources at fertilityaction.org
5. Join Path to Parenthub for weekly support groups, lived-experience blogs, and access to the Path to Parent Hub podcast
6. Listen to Hayley and Becky’s episodes on creating emotionally safe families through donor conception
7. Read more about the donor regulation campaign via Fertility Action and Fertility Network UK

If this episode helped you feel seen or helped you ask new questions, please subscribe, leave a review, or share it with someone on a similar path.

Until next time.

Happy New Year - hope you're enjoying the bright sunshine we have in Manchester as we wait to see if it snows!

You've survived the festive season and hopefully you're starting the new year in a peaceful place, despite the possibilityof there being a lot to consider in your year ahead. I hope the podcast continues to stay in your earholes and supports you along the way.

If you're yet to subscribe, please do so, wherever you have found this episode as it makes a real difference. Plus, feel free to leave a review each time you listen as I love hearing your thoughts.

Natalie x

As we wrap up 2025, this final episode of The Fertility Podcast is a heartfelt reflection on the year we’ve had and a look ahead to what’s coming. I’m joined by Katie Rollings, founder of Fertility Action, for a candid chat about the emotional toll of trying to conceive at this time of year, what has changed in the support landscape, and why we need more trust, better information, and continued compassion in the fertility space.

If this time of year feels like a gut punch, you are not alone. Whether you are grieving a loss, recovering from a failed cycle, or quietly carrying the weight of infertility, I hope this episode reminds you that your experience matters and that support is out there.

• Why it is okay to feel conflicted or overwhelmed during the festive season
• Creating your own boundaries, traditions, and safe spaces during the holidays
• What Fertility Action’s support groups are hearing most including pregnancy announcements, TTC burnout, relationship issues and intimacy questions
• How the groups are structured (TTC versus positive test and beyond) and why that matters
• The rise in patients feeling confused by medical advice, conflicting information online and social media rabbit holes
• Fertility as both emotional and transactional and how clinics need to do better at meeting patients with empathy and psychological safety
• The importance of honest, regulated medical guidance and why peer support should not replace professional advice
• Progress on fertility education and policy change and why 2026 is shaping up to be a big year for advocacy
• Katie’s hopes for empowering patients and reaching earlier stages in the fertility journey through GP education and access

If you have found yourself thinking “I really thought this would be our year”, you are not alone. That sense of grief, reflection, and uncertainty can be especially heavy during the holidays. But you are allowed to set limits. To say no. To opt out of conversations or events. You are not selfish for protecting your peace.

Whether it is preparing a few phrases for difficult family questions, giving yourself permission to decline invites, or joining a support group for the first time, do whatever helps you feel grounded.

And if you need a glimmer of hope, plan something just for you. Something small, comforting, or creative such as making a Christmas bauble while you chat with others who get it.

• Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
• Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
• Learn more about support groups and resources at fertilityaction.org
• Subscribe on your podcast app to stay updated for 2026
• Leave a review or share this with someone who might need it

Thank you again for listening this year. However you are ending 2025, I wish you peace, space to breathe, and a gentle start to whatever comes next.

Until next time.

Tips from the TTC community

In this penultimate episode of 2025, I wanted to share something a little different. This time of year can be incredibly difficult if you’re trying to conceive, dealing with loss, or navigating life after fertility treatment. So I gathered a brilliant group of patient advocates and professionals to offer their heartfelt, practical advice for getting through the holidays.

From awkward questions at the dinner table to setting boundaries and finding your tribe, this episode is full of small but powerful ideas to help you protect your wellbeing and find support, whatever your journey looks like.

• Why you don’t need to shrink yourself to make others comfortable
• How to prepare phrases and "outs" for difficult conversations
• The power of setting boundaries and being selfish in the kindest way
• Finding your community and not navigating it alone
• What to say to that nosy aunt (or how to head it off entirely)
• Navigating solo parenthood, donor conception and surrogacy during the holidays
• Coping with involuntary childlessness and sitting in grief without guilt
• Why men need support too, and how to show up for each other
• Embracing joy in small ways, even during a painful season

You’ll hear from:

• Julianne Bouteloup, perinatal psychologist and founder of Parenthood in Mind
• Mel Johnson, solo motherhood coach from The Stork and I
• Aisha Balisaria, patient advocate and founder of Mind Body Revival Coach
• Michael Johnson‑Ellis, co‑founder of My Surrogacy Journey
• Kreena Dhiman podcaster, speaker and donor conception advocate - The Art of Being Brave
• Kev Button, founder of The Man Cave
• Hayley King, from Path to Parent Hub
• Vanessa Haye, writer, speaker and infertility advocate

• Follow me on Instagram: @fertilitypoddy
• Email your thoughts or guest ideas: [email protected]
• Follow our advocacy work: @fertility.action
• Explore and connect with this episode’s guests via the links in the show notes
• Subscribe to the podcast to stay updated as we plan for 2026

Please know that whatever you’re feeling right now, you’re not alone. Your emotions are valid, and you deserve support. Take what you need from this episode, and share it with someone who might need it too.

Until next time.