Why abrupt silence can reopen old wounds.

This week, Sarah and I are digging into one of the most relatable—and frustrating—dating experiences: when you’re not sure if someone’s being avoidant… or just not that into you. We start with what might be And Just Like That’s best episode yet (no, seriously), which we fully unpack in a bonus episode here on Patreon. If you’re not subscribed, go now—this one hits hard, especially if you come from a divorced family.

Then we dive into two listener letters. The first comes from someone navigating a situationship that’s starting to feel like emotional breadcrumbing. She says she’s looking for something casual, but her response to slow replies tells a different story—and we talk about why “casual” might be the most misused word in modern dating.

The second letter is all about dating whiplash: a great date, instant connection, and then... poof. We break down what’s really happening when people ghost after intimacy, how your nervous system gets hijacked, and why the shame spiral is the real enemy.

Oh—and someone on TikTok asked if paying off your partner’s $70k student loan should count as a proposal. I had thoughts.

If you’ve ever questioned your intuition after a letdown, or felt like you were asking for too much just by wanting a text back, this one’s for you.

💌 Got a letter? Email us at [email protected]
🎧 Listen and follow on Spotify, Apple, or wherever you get your podcasts. Bonus, unfiltered episodes on Patreon.

• 00:00–00:37 – I talk about this week’s And Just Like That recap and why it’s a must-watch (especially if you’ve got divorced parents)

• 00:38–03:21 – Sarah reads a letter from a queer listener navigating early mixed signals

• 03:22–08:00 – We unpack mismatched expectations, texting delays, and the illusion of “casual”

• 08:01–14:44 – I go in on why communication styles are part of compatibility, and why shrinking yourself won’t get you clarity

• 14:45–23:45 – The TikTok debate: is paying off $70k in debt romantic or manipulative? (Spoiler: I vote manipulation)

• 23:46–25:22 – We read a letter from someone who got blindsided after a great date—and felt like she imagined the whole thing

• 25:23–33:23 – We break down dating whiplash, trauma responses, and why men don’t see emotional intimacy the way we do

• 33:24–38:45 – How to reframe rejection, rebuild trust in your instincts, and stop the shame spiral before it starts

• 38:46–40:09 – Final takeaways, bonus content reminders, and a little Pride Month love 🏳️‍🌈

⏱️ Segment Breakdown:

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👀 Got a dating dilemma? A ghosting mystery? An “is-it-me-or-is-he-just-delusional?” situation? Send it in!

We’re answering listener questions on the pod, and we want yours. Whether it’s a green flag you’re second-guessing , a walking ick 🥴, or a text you need decoded —spill it. We’ve got thoughts. Probably too many. 😏 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Submit your dating questions here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.