In this episode, I take you with me on my live pilgrimage to Lourdes, the sanctuary of Mother Mary in France. Lourdes is a place where millions travel for healing, hope, and miracles but what I discovered here went far beyond holy water and candlelight.
I share what it felt like to walk into the energy of the grotto, the lessons I learned waiting for hours in line (yes, including a bathroom incident that turned into a teaching on forgiveness), and the raw emotions that surfaced after bathing in the sacred waters.
Resources from today’s episode
Learn more about 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Apply for 1:1 Coaching with Phi here.Radiance Bali Retreat (September 29 – October 4, 2025) – Details + Secure Your SpotBook a Human Design Reading with Phi here.Phi’s book; The Great Unlearning: Awakening to Living an Aligned and Authentic Life.Message Phi on InstagramEmail PhiPilgrimage to Lourdes & the Divine Mother
Hello my love. I’m coming to you live, raw, still in the thick of my spiritual pilgrimage to Lourdes, the sanctuary of Mother Mary in France. It’s a very personal journey for me that’s still unfolding in the present day as I’m recording live here in France. I wanted to bring you along and have a sacred heart to heart. Honestly sounds like a personal diary rather than poddy ep!
If you haven’t heard of Lourdes in 1858, a young peasant girl named Bernadette had a series of visions of the Virgin Mary. Since then, millions of pilgrims have come each year, seeking healing, peace and connection with the divine. You see people from every corner of the world — some arriving in wheelchairs, some carrying heavy burdens and some simply searching for a quiet moment of faith.
What struck me most about Lourdes is that it’s not just about Catholicism. Yes, it is deeply Catholic in its roots and traditions, and very much like an adult Catholic Disneyland where old ladies go crazy for (a story about that later on). But when you are there, what you feel goes beyond religion. It feels like a universal mother energy. It feels like the presence of unconditional love itself, waiting to embrace you.
The Energy of Sacred Places
I’ve always believed there are certain places on Earth that simply hold energy. You step into them, and you know something is different. Sometimes it’s in nature, like a mountain or a forest, and sometimes it’s in sanctuaries like Lourdes.
When I arrived, I could feel it immediately. The air was thick with prayer and it happens the year I’ve gone in 2025 is the Jubilee year marking the universal theme of hope. There were candles flickering everywhere. It was extremely busy, and what’s so powerful is that this energy isn’t just historical — it’s alive. You can feel the devotion of millions of people here.
For me, being there wasn’t about worshiping a figure from my childhood faith. It was about standing in a place where the Divine Mother energy is so tangible, so present.
Returning to My Roots
I should share a little background. I grew up Roman Catholic. Mary was always present in my childhood — her statues in churches, rosaries in the hands of family members, prayers before bed.
In fact, I had a memory flashback to being in kindergarten or year one. My first school play, I randomly got chosen to play Mother Mary in a Christmas play. My dad was religious and said if I had a Western name it would be Mary, so I would be Mary Dang to you!
Like many of us, I drifted as I grew older for various reasons (which you can read about in my book The Great Unlearning). My spiritual path expanded, I explored other traditions, and Mary became more of a symbol in the background.
Yet when I walked into Lourdes, something in me remembered. It wasn’t about dogma or rules or religion. It was about the deep comfort of the mother figure I had known all along. She was waiting there for me, not asking me to prove anything — just to receive. The mother has come to me in all forms and walks of life and this was a returning home to the original I grew up with, religiously and now spiritually.
The Humility of Pilgrimage
Now, I have to say, being in Lourdes was also humbling in ways I didn’t expect. English is not the first language for most pilgrims there. For me too, communicating sometimes felt clumsy, as though my words couldn’t fully capture what I wanted to express. Most people here spoke either French or Italian.
Here’s the thing pilgrimage is not about perfection. It’s about humility. It’s about stepping outside your comfort zone, sometimes feeling small, and yet realising that in the eyes of the Divine, you are seen completely.
I would smile at someone lighting a candle and they would smile back. No words needed. I would stand next to someone praying the rosary in Italian, and though I didn’t understand the language, the rhythm of their prayer carried me.
It reminded me that spirituality is a universal language and sometimes, silence speaks louder than words.
Patience & Love in the Line at Lourdes
One of the big lessons I didn’t expect to learn at Lourdes came not from a vision, or even from prayer, but simply from standing in line.
If you’ve been to Lourdes, you know — there is waiting. Lots of waiting. I stood for an hour just to touch the rock of the grotto where Mary appeared. Later that day, I waited almost two and a half hours to bathe in the healing waters. Both times I was early by the way, so I can imagine others waited even longer. And I’ll be honest with you — I really had to go to the bathroom. And there I was, in this long, snaking line of pilgrims from all over the world, and no bathroom in sight.
So, I did what I had to do: I stepped out of the line, trusting that I would be able to get back in. When I returned, I explained the situation to one of the English speaking staff members, and thankfully, they understood and let me back in where I had been. Plus I had a lovely middle-aged Italian couple behind me in queue ready to vouch for me — bless their hearts.
But in that exact moment, a middle-aged Italian woman came forward. She had been waiting too, and she was upset. She pushed me, berated me in her language, insisting that she had been there longer. I was taken aback. For a moment, I wanted to defend myself: No, excuse me, I’ve actually been here longer than you, and I was already inside while you were still in the queue.
It could have turned into resentment but instead, something softened. I went ahead, still a little shaken, but trusting that love would somehow settle the situation.
And then — something beautiful happened. Later, this same woman came up to me. She looked me in the eyes, put her hands on my shoulders and said sorry. In that moment, a lesson came through: forgiveness doesn’t excuse the behavior, but it releases the weight of it.
That moment taught me that love is not just this abstract spiritual concept we talk about in prayer or meditation. It’s practical. It’s in the forgiveness we extend to strangers. It’s in the patience we cultivate in the long lines of life whether with others, with family, with friends, or even with a partner.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean swallowing everything down or pretending it didn’t hurt. It means choosing not to let resentment lodge in your heart. That’s what I experienced in Lourdes, in the most ordinary yet extraordinary way — through a bathroom break, a misunderstanding, and an apology that became a moment of grace.
After the Bathing – Heart as Cathedral
After I bathed in the waters at Lourdes, I’ll be honest — it was really intense. I didn’t walk out glowing or blissful. I actually felt irritated, unsettled. Shed a few tears and that surprised me. Here I was, in this sacred place, doing what so many dream of, and instead of peace, I felt raw.
But I’ve learned that sometimes transformation doesn’t arrive in the moment — it settles later. That’s exactly what happened. The next day, something in me cracked open. I remembered a teaching I had received earlier in Glastonbury, the place often called the heart chakra of the world. The teaching was simple but profound: “Your heart is a cathedral.”
Suddenly, it all made sense. People travel across the world, to places like Lourdes, to find healing, blessings, love. And yet, we each carry within us a cathedral that can hold that same vibration: the heart.
In that moment, I realised how lucky I am. I didn’t come to Lourdes out of desperation, or begging for a miracle. I came simply “for the vibes,” as I like to say — for the energy, for the presence, and because I got the call from Spirit, trusting in my journey.
It made me reflect on the journey it took to get here. Just a year ago, I was going through a toxic breakup, carrying heaviness and heartbreak. I never could have imagined that twelve months later, I would be standing in Lourdes, surrounded by more love than I have ever felt in my life — love from so many people in my life, yes, but also love rising from within me.
So I just rippled with gratitude. Gratitude not only for Mother Mary, not only for the sanctuary, but for the reminder that the sacred is both out there and in here. Lourdes mirrored back to me what was already waiting to be found in my own cathedral — the heart.
The Final Vision
One of the most moving moments for me happened on my final full day. I had been in Lourdes from Wednesday and was leaving Saturday. I went into meditation, sitting quietly with everything I had experienced in front of my favourite mural. A lovely woman previously came up to me and translated it: “I do not promise you happiness in this life, but in the next.”
Dropping into a meditation for the final time here I had a vision. I saw so many of my spiritual teachers, all reminding me how the Divine Mother is universal no matter your background, your culture. And then, as if the universe wanted to underline the message, something extraordinary happened. A woman I had never met before approached me. She started talking to me completely unprompted about a Mexican goddess.
Now here’s the wild part: in recent months, I had already been feeling the presence of this goddess in my own inner work. It was as if she had been knocking at my door and now here she was, showing up in Lourdes through the voice of a complete stranger.
In that moment, I knew I had just been introduced to a new teacher. Not in the traditional sense, but in the way Spirit sometimes weaves synchronicities into our lives to make sure we’re paying attention.
Learning to be a Mother
When I look back at this past year, I realize that my journey has really been about learning how to be a mother. Not in the traditional sense, I don’t have any children right now but in the spiritual sense.
First, it’s been about being a mother to my own inner child. That tender, vulnerable part of me that longs for safety, love, and reassurance. Previously, I looked for that outside of myself as many of us do — in relationships, in achievements, in other people’s approval. Through deep inner work, I’ve been unlearning all that so I can be the one who holds her. I can be the one who comforts her when she feels scared, who celebrates her joy, who tells her: You are enough.
This same energy has flowed into my work with women — on retreats, in sessions, in the sacred spaces we create together. Again and again, I see how so many of us are carrying children inside who are still waiting to be loved. We think our struggles are about stress, or relationships, or self worth, but so often, at the root, it’s the little girl inside us who is longing for love.
Holding space for women in retreat this year has been like extending the arms of the Divine Mother outward. It’s about saying: You belong. You are safe here. You can lay down the armor and just be held by me.
This year, I’ve learned that being a mother is not just a role some women play in family life — it’s an archetype, an energy, a calling we can all embody. It’s the energy of nurture, of patience, of unconditional love. The more we step into it, the more healing and wholeness we bring — not just to ourselves, but to everyone in our lives.
Inner Child Fun is Holy and Sacred
One of the sweetest parts of my pilgrimage was how strongly my inner child made herself known. Yes, there were the sacred moments at the grotto, the long lines, the prayers — but honestly, she showed up most fully in the ordinary, playful moments. In my little Airbnb, she was so happy — dancing around the kitchen, cooking simple meals, laughing at nothing, eating ice cream every single day.
She reminded me that pilgrimage isn’t only about solemn devotion or seeking miracles. It’s also about joy, play, and delight — the things that make us feel alive. In Lourdes, she wanted to have fun too. And that was just as sacred as lighting candles or bathing in the waters.
Lourdes Compassion
Lourdes is also a place where you see many sick and disabled people. At first, if I’m honest, it can feel confronting. There are people being carried, people in pain. Some part of me felt a little uncomfortable and for many I’ve spoken to it felt “icky” to witness suffering so closely.
As I stayed with it, something shifted. I realised: what a beautiful thing that if you are sick, or or carrying something heavy, you get to spend time in this most sacred space. Surrounded by prayer, candles, hope. Even if their bodies are in pain, their spirits are being nourished in one of the most beautiful sanctuaries on Earth.
Maybe some would feel pity, I began to feel joy for them. Because Lourdes gives people hope. And hope is medicine, too.
It reminded me again of the Mother energy. Just like a mother gathers all her children healthy, struggling, joyful, hurting so too does Lourdes gather everyone. No one is excluded.
In that, my inner child learned something very important: we are all worthy of love and belonging.
That teaching has stayed with me. That no matter what condition we’re in (physically, emotionally, spiritually) the Divine Mother makes space for us. Just maybe our job is to learn how to extend that same compassion to ourselves and others…
Unconditional Love
And so in closing what I want you to take from Lourdes isn’t just my story, but a reminder of what’s already true for you.
The Divine Mother is not only here in Lourdes. She’s with you, right now, wherever you are. She is the presence of unconditional love itself: love that doesn’t keep score, doesn’t ask you to be perfect, doesn’t withdraw when you fall short. Love isn’t based on what you’ve done, or how spiritual you are, or whether you’ve “earned it.” It just is.
The Universe, divine mother loves the messy parts of you, the tired parts of you, the shiny parts of you, the parts you hide from everyone else. She gathers them all up the way a mother gathers every one of her children. Nothing in you is too broken, too small, too much, or too late for her embrace.
So wherever you are listening to this, I want you to feel that truth: you are already loved, already held, already belonging. Always, always, in the arms of the archetype of the divine Mother. Of unconditional love.
Take a moment. Place your hand on your heart. Breathe. Imagine your heart as a vast cathedral, full of light, full of song, full of love. This is your sacred space. This is where the Mother meets you.
So my hope for you, encoded with the energy of Mother Mary and Lourdes is that:
May you remember you are safe.
May you remember you are loved.
May you remember you belong.
So as I carry this home to my next destination in Europe, I’m bringing not just memories, not just stories, but the living energy of the Divine Mother. I’m bringing her embrace, her unconditional love, and yes I’m literally bringing blessed Lourdes water with me.
If you’re feeling the call, I want to invite you into my final 2025 retreat Radiance in Bali, September 29 – Oct 4. I am so charged up from this spiritual pilgrimage been everywhere this year and it culminates into this retreat infusing everything I’ve received in my journey and travels this year.
Radiance is A Women’s Only Retreat to Be Magnetic. Bold. Unstoppable.
Where your Inner Fire meets your Feminine Flow.
Be Seen. Be felt. Be Unforgettable.
Radiance isn’t just a retreat — it’s an initiation into unapologetic visibility,
unshakable confidence, soulful sisterhood and bold breakthroughs.
Here, your voice isn’t just heard — it’s amplified.
Here, your power isn’t questioned — it’s celebrated.
Here, your radiance doesn’t just glow — it blazes.
Details on my website or message me on Instagram to chat.
Until next time beautiful soul
