Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples

“My job was to help really wealthy people not pay taxes. So, as I remember that client complaining about the several $100,000 tax bill, I was just thinking about how many hungry kids that could feed, and how many single moms that could provide child care for so they could actually pick up more hours and buy coats for their kids for that winter. And I began to realize I was living in this big disconnect.”

Ever pondered how psychology intertwines with financial planning, or how your family's financial habits shape your monetary mindset? It's a fascinating exploration, and it's exactly what our host Ed Coambs discussed with Joy Slabaugh in this latest podcast episode. A savvy financial therapist, Joy brings a wealth of knowledge from her time at Vanguard Mutual Funds and her graduate degree in therapy. Together, Ed and Joy uncovered the intricate connection between therapy and personal finance, examining the profound effect of systems theory in understanding clients' monetary relationships.

But the journey didn't stop there; Ed and Joy delved into the challenge of implementing changes in the financial services sector, broached the subject of choosing poverty, and considered how environmental and capitalist concerns shape our monetary bonds.

As they picked up pace, Ed and Joy navigated the emotional labyrinth of money in couples' relationships, discussing how it often symbolizes power and can lead to conflicts over power, control, respect, and autonomy. Joy offered her expert advice on this topic, sharing her experience using the Internal Family Systems approach to navigate these complex dynamics. All this and more in today’s episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“If money were food in your life, what food would it be? Is it junk food? Is it nutritious? Is it comfort food?”

Ever wondered how to align your financial decisions with your life's purpose? What if you could transform your relationship with money into an intimate journey of growth and understanding? Our host Ed Coambs delves into these questions and more with financial planning colleague, Elizabeth Jetton. Elizabeth shares her insights on how money can be used as a tool to live a thriving life.

Elizabeth doesn't stop at the individual level, though. She brings a wealth of knowledge to the table about harnessing the power of financial communication and transparency within couples. Drawing from her personal 25-year journey with her husband, she shares some powerful techniques to celebrate differences and create financial harmony in relationships. This episode is a revelatory exploration of the pivotal role emotions play in financial decision-making, guided by Elizabeth's understanding of neurosciences.

Lastly, as they journey towards financial intimacy, Elizabeth encourages us to reflect on our emotional relationship with money. She invites listeners to engage with their personal narratives around money—how they perceive it, engage with it, and how it influences their life decisions. This discussion is peppered with insightful tips on how to nurture our financial relationships, making this episode an absolute must for anyone looking to develop a healthier, more intimate relationship with their finances.

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“The way that we look at money individually is inherently different. And you may not even realize how your spouse, your partner, your friend, your client looks at money until you get into these financial flashpoints.”

This episode of Healthy Love and Money features the brilliant and aspiring financial planner, Aaron Freeman, who brings with him an enthusiasm for the psychology of financial planning. Our host Ed Coambs along with Aaron delves into the heart of financial planning, exploring how it goes beyond managing money and investing to the critical role of interpersonal communication.

Their exploration of the psychology of financial planning uncovers the phenomenon of loss bias – the distinct human tendency to feel more emotionally impacted by losses than gains. They discuss how this bias can significantly affect clients' tax planning perspectives and decision-making. At the same time, they recognize the importance of fostering trust and understanding, creating an environment that encourages productive financial discussions and planning.

In the face of life's unexpected twists and turns, Aaron shares his perspective on the significance of ongoing financial planning. His personal experiences have shaped his approach to financial planning, particularly when advising clients at different life stages. They also discuss the concept of financial intimacy - the balance required to successfully manage finances within relationships. This episode will inspire you to approach your financial journey with a deeper understanding of the emotional aspects of money.

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“We deal with money in similar ways to how we deal with passion and how we deal with love. Money, power, and love - we tend to bring the same characteristic ways of dealing with each of those. When you think about your own money stories: substitute power, substitute, love, and see if you see those similarities.”

Today our host Ed Coambs embarks on an enlightening journey with psychotherapist and financial therapist, Marilyn Wechter. With her rich experience working with clients on money issues, Marilyn provides invaluable insights into the intricate psychological relationship we have with money. Listen in as they explore how our character shapes our approach to money, power, and love and how understanding this can help in overcoming financial stress in relationships.

This episode takes a deep look at how money, power, and love intersect with our identity. Ed and Marilyn address how societal values and cultural norms impact our perception of money, which can sometimes lead to feelings of shame despite being successful. Marilyn sheds light on how money is merely a tool and the importance of detaching our self-worth from our financial status.

They then navigate the complexities of money dynamics and power imbalances within relationships, highlighting how mutual respect and understanding can be fostered. Wrapping up the episode, they delve into the concept of financial intimacy and the importance of reflecting on our own relationship with money. They discuss how acknowledging our past experiences with money can aid in forming a healthier relationship with it. All this and more in today’s episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“I think it's really hard for people to discuss these kinds of changes because they don't want to think about the worst-case scenario. I don't have that same fear because I've lived it. And I'm like, okay, ‘the worst thing that could happen is you don't discuss it.’ Honestly, that creates the most stress in your life. And the most loving thing you could do is give the gift of pre-planning and having everything lined up.”

As life unfolds, we constantly find ourselves in the midst of transitions. Today our host Ed Coambs welcomes Angela Greene, a seasoned occupational therapist and neuro nerd. Angela's work focuses on how occupational therapy can aid people in successfully navigating these life changes, and she shares her insights and experiences with us.

Growing older is a universal experience, yet it's often fraught with complexity, particularly when it comes to financial planning for healthcare. Angela and Ed delve into this topic, breaking down the various costs associated with aging and how programs like Medicare Part A and B can assist. But it's not just about the dollars and cents; they also discuss the emotional toll these transitions can take on families, the importance of a supportive caregiving unit, and the need to confront our fears around death.

In a particularly powerful segment, Angela shares about her work in neuro rehab and how it helps patients regain their sense of self post-stroke. She and Ed touch upon the importance of physical activity in promoting neurogenesis, and the potential of technology to provide care to patients in their own homes. All this and more in this episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“In a relationship, our purpose financially is to be financially solvent, to save money for emergencies, so we feel safe and secure to make money to do the things we wish to do. So, we're both co-conspirators in that. We have to have a shared purpose and a shared vision. Otherwise, we're going to operate in ways that are one-person oriented.”

Get ready to redefine your understanding of relationship dynamics and financial intimacy as we welcome Dr. Stan Tatkin. A thought leader in the realm of couples therapy, Stan brings deep insights from his latest book, In Each Other's Care, shining light on the often-overlooked aspect of financial intimacy. Our host Ed Coambs, along with Stan discuss the delicate dance of power dynamics among couples and the vitally important role of financial planning in fostering a secure, harmonious relationship.

Their exploration of financial intimacy doesn't shy away from the uncomfortable or the complex, as they dive headfirst into how significant wealth disparities among couples can breed inequality and insecurity. They take an honest look at the complexities of pre-nuptial agreements. But it's not all about numbers and contracts. They also discuss how cultural differences impact our perceptions of independence and financial control, and underscore the importance of cultural competency in making informed decisions about your relationship. All this and more in this episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“The reward for many of us, for retiring early, is an existential crisis. I think there’s a lot of different elements to why people feel this way when they retire early.”

Today our host Ed Coambs embarks on an insightful journey with Diania Merriam, founder of the EconoMe Conference and fellow podcaster. Diania unravels her personal journey from being financially illiterate to achieving financial independence, retiring at 33, and its impacts on her mental health. She emphasizes the need for financial literacy, discernment, and adapting financial decisions to our unique circumstances.

In this compelling episode, Ed and Diania explore the intersection of mental health and early retirement, discussing how the shift from external pressure to autonomy can be challenging, especially when dealing with mental health issues and childhood trauma. They discuss the power of attachment theory in the healing process and the challenges of processing trauma without the appropriate language. All this and more on today’s episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“When I say modern husband, it could be essentially somebody that looks at their partner, as an equal, as a teammate, and trying to figure out collectively how you can work together to support each other's goals and ambitions and you take turns, sometimes one career goes ahead of the other.”

In today’s episode, our host Ed Coambs has a riveting discussion with Brian Page, the founder of Modern Husbands, as they explore the complexities of managing marriage, finances, and gender roles in the modern world. Listen in as Brian shares his personal journey, detailing how his wife's ambition and their need for greater flexibility led him to leave teaching and ultimately establish Modern Husbands. They delve into the significance of viewing one's partner as an equal and a teammate, and how couples can work together to support each other's goals and ambitions.

Ed and Brian also dive into the intricacies of managing finances as a couple. From the impact of gender roles on financial planning to the art of fostering financial intimacy, Brian provides insight from his experiences and knowledge. They explore how couples can balance the responsibility of managing households, careers, and finances in the modern world, with special attention to the research indicating that a more equal division of household labor generally leads to a happier marriage for all involved.

To wrap things up, they discuss the importance of envisioning what a great partner in marriage looks like for each of us. They shed light on the importance of honest conversations about money and how to navigate these sometimes difficult discussions without placing blame or guilt. All this and more in today’s episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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“That’s what money is. It’s energy. And sometimes we blame money for things, too, which is interesting, and is it really money’s fault? And what part is how people were wired in how all those things happened?”

Today, our host Ed Coambs welcomes Elana Feinsmith, CFP and CFT of Oak Financial Coaching, to the Healthy Love and Money Podcast. Discover how Elana beautifully blends financial therapy and financial coaching, assisting her clients in exploring the emotional side of money and creating a spending plan. Elana begins her sessions with a grounding meditation and uses tools like the Kolbe A test to understand her clients' natural wiring, paving the way for more effective coaching. Be inspired by Elana’s unique approach, including the use of genograms to uncover familial money dynamics.

Join in as they tackle topics like leveraging strengths in personal finance, roles and mental health in financial well-being, and the complex dynamics of managing finances while raising a family and caring for aging parents. Learn how to navigate value differences between partners, the importance of reflection and contemplation in a busy world, and how marriage counseling and financial therapy can stimulate progress. They also shed light on the concept of decision fatigue and provide strategies to work around it for joyful financial decisions.

Listen in to their exploration of finding joy and financial freedom. Elana shares her insights on understanding our inner money voices, uncovering the meaning behind our spending habits, and the power of genograms in gaining a deeper understanding of our relationship with money. Sit back and get ready for an insightful conversation that is sure to reshape your relationship with money.

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“Having a healthy relationship with money is just rightfully understanding money as a tool.”

Today, our host Ed Coambs embarks on an enriching journey into the world of financial intimacy with special guest, Jenn Steliga, a financial coach and a coaching-centric financial planner. They start by discussing the idea of a healthy relationship with money and understanding it as a tool that can help shape the life you desire. Jenn shares her unique approach to coaching, emphasizing the different ways people interact with money, and reveals her backstory that led her to this path.

They also navigate through the complexities of supporting aging parents and the responsibilities that come with having a large family. They discuss the importance of setting boundaries, planning for helping family members financially, and the conventional expectations of younger generations taking care of their elderly relatives. Jenn also offers her insights on budgeting as a therapeutic process and how it can help manage modern perceptions of financial independence.

They explore the importance of aligning values with budgeting. Jenn shares how a values exercise and strengths exercise can play a significant role in creating a starter budget. They discuss using tools like YNAB software to color code spending and see how it lines up with values, and the importance of being mindful of transactions and giving every dollar a job. All this and more in this actionable episode of Healthy Love and Money!

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