Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples

Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples

By Ed Coambs - Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™Society & CultureBusinessHealth & FitnessMental HealthRelationships
Download on the App Store

Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples episodes

  • How the 7 Developmental Capacities of Executive Functioning Bring Compassion To Financial Planning and Neurodiversity with Christine Hargrove

    Discover the intricacies of financial intimacy and how ADHD can impact couples and their financial well-being in this enlightening conversation with Christine Hargrove, a Ph.D. student at the University of Georgia. You'll gain valuable insights into the world of neurodiversity and the challenges faced by neurodiverse families when it comes to money and relationships.

     

    Our Host, Ed Coambs of Healthy Love and Money along with Christine dive deep into the concept of financial self-efficacy and its connection to positive financial behaviors, shedding light on Christine's work at the CARE Lab and Aspire Clinic, where she supports individuals, couples, and families living with ADHD. They discuss the different mechanisms of change in family therapy, and how the context and goals can influence the exercises employed in treatment. As they explore executive functioning and neurodiversity, you'll unravel the invisible barriers that can make it difficult for people with ADHD to consistently implement what they know they should do.

     

    Don’t miss this fascinating journey through the seven developmental capacities of executive functioning and how they can affect our ability to complete tasks and understand complex concepts. You'll hear Christine's personal story of her daughter's ADHD diagnosis and how it prompted her to learn more about neurodiversity and its impact on family life. By the end of our conversation, you'll have a deeper understanding of ADHD and its effects on relationships and finances.

     

     

    Key Topics:

    •  The Triangle of ADHD, Couples and Money (02:00)
    •  Christine’s Story and Her Daughter’s Diagnosis (05:05)
    •  How Christine got into Financial Therapy (10:50)
    •  The Seven Developmental Capacities of Executive Functioning (22:33)
    •  Resources from Christine (38:00)

    •  

       

      Resources:

      • Christine Hargrove on LinkedIn

      •  

         

        Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

        1.   Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
        2.   Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
        3.   Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
        4.   Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

        5. 44 min
        6. How To Relish Financial Well-Being After School Buses, Wall Street and Costa Rica with Cara Macksoud

          In this fascinating episode of Healthy Love and Money, our host Ed Coambs had the pleasure of speaking with Cara Macksoud of Money Habitudes. Cara shared her journey from working on the New York Stock Exchange trading floor to her current work with Money Habitudes, and how her upbringing and family provided her with the strength to challenge the status quo. Listen in as she discusses her experiences of being told to "go back in her box" and how she responded to and shattered these expectations with confidence and pride.

           

          Ed and Cara explore how healthy competition can exist in intimate relationships and how partners can spur each other on to do better. Drawing from Michelle Obama's book, they discussed the idea that neither person in a relationship should win all the time and how couples can learn to flex their comfort zones to satisfy the other person and themselves.

           

          Throughout the conversation, they touched on various topics such as the power of authenticity, the impact of privilege on parenting, and the complexities of money and healthcare. Cara's unique perspective and experiences have led her to advocate for valuing people for their differences and recognizing the potential of what can be accomplished when everyone brings their own uniqueness to the table.

           

           

          Key Topics:

          • The Four C’s: Collaboration, Conflict, Competition, Camaraderie (0:07:11)
          • ADD and Knowing What You Don’t Know (0:22:52)
          • Having or Not Having an Internal Character to Fall Back On (0:30:29)
          • The Costa Rica Stories (0:34:09)
          • Cara’s Daughter’s Zipline Accident and What Money Can’t Buy (0:38:16)
          • The ‘Good Ending’ to the Zipline Accident (0:53:31)
          • The Human Process of Empathy and Compassion (1:03:15)
          • Money as a Tool of Social Belonging and Connection (1:22:58)
          • Wrap-up and More About Money Habitudes (1:26:21)

          •  

            Resources:

            • Money Habitudes
            • Cara Macksoud on LinkedIn

            •  

              Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

              1.   Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
              2.   Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
              3.   Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
              4.   Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

              5. 1 hr 33 min
              6. How Combining Dance Therapy and Poly-Vagal Theory Gives Grace To Your Financial Life with Dee Wagner

                Can understanding the Polyvagal Theory and the role of the vagus nerve in our emotions unlock the secrets to healthier relationships and even transform our financial intimacy?

                 

                Our host Ed Coambs and guest Dee Wagner dive deep into the world of Polyvagal Dance Therapy. Dee has been a therapist for over 30 years and offers powerful insights into healing from multi-generational trauma and improving relationships.

                 

                Don't miss this enlightening conversation as they uncover the often-overlooked connections between mental health, finances, and relationship dynamics. Listen in and learn how to create a sense of safety, security, and communication in your relationships.

                 

                 

                Key Topics:

                • The “Dance of Relationships” (0:04:21)
                • Activating the Vagus Nerve (0:09:15)
                • Multi-Generational Trauma (0:12:29)
                • Sibling Conflict and Alienation (0:28:01)
                • Gut Issues and Vagus Nerve vs Dieting (0:32:50)
                • Reclaiming the Right to Say No (0:38:09)
                • The Importance of Being Ready for Anything (0:43:20)

                •  

                   

                  Resources:

                  • Chi For Two Website
                  • Dee Wagner on LinkedIn

                  •  

                      

                    Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                    1.   Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                    2.   Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                    3.   Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                    4.   Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                    5. 49 min
                    6. Finding Joy in Financial Planning and Pursuing The 6 Stages of Financial Independence with Ben Hockema

                      “Money is just a tool toward whatever you see for your life, whatever you envision, whatever your fulfillment could be. Whatever that is, it’s just a tool to go that direction.”

                       

                      Discover the ins and outs of financial intimacy and how it can strengthen your relationships in this eye-opening conversation with Ben Hockema of Illuminate Wealth Management and our host Ed Coambs of Healthy Love and Money. Learn how to navigate the challenges couples face in their financial lives together while uncovering the psychology of money and the important role it plays in our lives.

                       

                      Listen in as Ben shares his insightful take on the six stages of financial independence and how to strike a balance between meaningful life experiences and creating an effective financial plan.

                       

                      This episode is packed with invaluable advice for both couples and individuals looking to improve their financial lives and relationships around money. Whether you're just starting your journey to financial intimacy or have been on the path for years, Ben and Ed’s insights will prove to be game-changing.

                       

                       

                      Key Topics:

                      • How Ben Became a Financial Planner (0:02:20)
                      • Ben’s Initial Questions for Clients & Why He Prefers Couples Work (0:11:09)
                      • Assessing Money Goals of The Client (0:17:41)
                      • Opportunity, Security, Vulnerability and Early Money Memories (0:24:11)
                      • Life Philosophies around Money and Planning (0:31:19)
                      • Ben’s Perspective Change Once He Got a Financial Planner (0:39:53)
                      • The Six Stages of Financial Independence (0:54:54)
                      • 1: Establishing an Emergency Fund (0:58:26)
                      • 2: One Year of Expenses (0:59:40)
                      • 3: I Can Quit My Job (1:04:56)
                      • 4: Lean FIRE (1:07:22)
                      • 5: Traditional Financial Independence (1:12:09)
                      • 6: True Financial Freedom (1:13:50)
                      • Emotions Around Finances (1:23:23)
                      • Wrap-up (1:27:50)

                      •  

                         

                        Resources:

                        • Ben Hockema and Illuminate Wealth Management
                        • Healthy Love and Money Podcast Episode: How Financial Planning and Financial Therapy Changes Couples Lives: With Danielle Seurkamp

                        •  

                           

                          Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                          1.   Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                          2.   Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                          3.   Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                          4.   Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                          5. 1 hr 29 min
                          6. How Using Emotion Wheels and Human Needs Wheels Open New Money Pathways with Colby Peters

                            Today, Ed is joined by Dr. Colby Peters, Founder and CEO of Human Systems, which empowers individuals and human service organizations with research-based tools and processes to help them prevent burnout, reduce turnover, and improve individual and organizational well-being. Dr. Peters founded Human Systems in 2016, recognizing that leadership is “positive action that happens on the individual, relational, and systems levels.” In other words, the role of leadership is not reserved only for those at the top of the organization, but for everyone within it.

                             

                            In the first part of this two-part discussion, listen in as Dr. Peters discusses how she came to realize, through her research as well as through her own personal experiences, that emotion is nothing to be scoffed at nor something to be suppressed in professional life. She explains how we can speak authentically with another human being to build bridges. Expanding our emotional vocabulary, according to Dr. Peters, allows us to turn our emotion into action by attuning our perspective toward making the right decisions.

                             

                            In the second part of this two-part discussion, listen in as Dr. Peters discusses the importance of reclaiming and developing our self-authority. It all begins, she says, with addressing our unmet needs. According to Dr. Peters: “Behind every comfortable emotion is a met need. Behind every uncomfortable emotion is an unmet need.” She breaks down the four categories of needs: safety, growth, individuality, and relationships.

                             

                            Drawing from her own emotional experiences, Dr. Peters speaks on how therapy and financial planning come together. She explains how she guides her clients through their emotional needs without taking on the persona of the “authority figure.” This, in turn, honors her clients’ autonomy, encouraging them to claim their own power in the decision-making process.

                             

                             

                            Key Topics:

                            Part 1:

                            • About Human Systems (0:01:31)
                            • Expressing Emotion without Offending the Other Person (0:08:13)
                            • Leadership Plus Emotional Intelligence (0:16:20)
                            • Expanding Your Emotional Vocabulary via the Three Emotion Wheels (0:27:16)
                            • Fundamental Human Needs Versus Emotional Needs (0:32:42)

                            • Part 2:

                              • About the Human Needs Wheel (0:39:23)
                              • Balancing Our Growth Needs with Our Safety Needs (0:43:16)
                              • How Therapy and Financial Planning Can Come Together (0:51:07)
                              • Why We Should Never Resist Our Emotions (1:08:04)
                              • Teaching Clients How to Use Tools Developed by Human Systems (1:12:45)

                              •  

                                 

                                Resources:

                                • Dr. Colby Peters on LinkedIn
                                • Human Systems
                                • Emotion Wheels
                                • The Body Keeps the Score (for reference)

                                •  

                                   

                                   

                                  Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                  1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                  2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                  3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way.

                                  4. 1 hr 22 min
                                  5. What is Ontological Coaching and How Does It Improve Financial Planning? with Liz Hand

                                    “This is sacred work. The layers of meaning built into the financial planning process are profound."

                                     

                                    What if financial planning could go beyond practical strategies and delve into the deeper emotional aspects of the human relationship with money? Join our host Financial Therapist Ed Coambs as he explores this intriguing idea with today’s guest, Financial Planner Liz Hand, who shares her unique approach to helping clients on their financial journey.

                                     

                                    They discuss how Liz's practice has evolved to focus on creating trusting relationships with her clients, allowing them to explore their financial lives at their own pace and in their own way. They touch on the importance of meeting clients where they are in their financial journey, Ontological Coaching, and navigating retirement transitions with emotional acumen. They even examine how personal aspects of our lives, such as belonging, religion, and finding one's inner light, can impact our financial journey.

                                     

                                    Don’t miss this eye-opening conversation and discover how a deeper connection with clients through the financial planning process can lead to more fulfilling and successful financial plans.

                                     

                                    Key Topics:

                                    • Financial Planning With a Deeper Connection (1:02)
                                    • Integrating Counseling and Financial Planning (10:15)
                                    • Navigating Retirement Transitions With Emotional Acumen (20:41)
                                    • The Sacred Work of Financial Planning (27:24)
                                    • Belonging, Religion, and Financial Planning (37:59)
                                    • Unleashing Your Inner Light (51:38)

                                    •  

                                      Resources:

                                      Liz Hand on LinkedIn

                                       

                                       

                                      Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                      1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                      2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                      3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                                      4.  Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                                      5. 55 min
                                      6. How Financial Therapy Helps Transform Financial Fiascos into Financial Freedom with Aja Evans

                                        Today, Ed is joined by Aja Evans, licensed mental health counselor specializing in financial therapy based in New York City.

                                         

                                        Aja shares how her own financial awakening led her to seek out spaces in which she can express her money-related dreams, anxieties, and challenges with others who are going through the same issues as she. It was this gradual embrace of the wonders and complexities of money and mental health that led her down the path of becoming a financial therapist.

                                         

                                        In her words: “I love getting into the nitty gritty about feelings and money, and making sure people don’t feel alone.”

                                         

                                        Aja also gives her thoughts on how the lack of representation for minority groups in the world of finance is directly tied to the money-related struggles within many individuals in these underrepresented communities.

                                         

                                        She talks about how we can bridge the gap between these communities, between generations, and even between couples who often struggle with financial intimacy—to appreciate each other’s perspectives and lived experiences due to radically disparate backgrounds.

                                         

                                        Finally, Aja dives deep into the often-overlooked factors that impact financial well-being in marriage, from money to motivations to trust.

                                         

                                        Key Topics:

                                        • About Aja and her “financial awakening” (01:20)
                                        • Why we need community if we want to improve our financial well-being (03:30)
                                        • The connection between representation and financial well-being (09:28)
                                        • Building bridges between communities (15:34)
                                        • Money and marriage (22:16)
                                        • Why intimacy matters (27:46)
                                        • Rebuilding lost trust in a relationship (36:35)

                                        •  

                                           

                                          Resources:

                                          • Aja on Instagram @ajaetherapy
                                          • Aja on TikTok @ajaetherapy
                                          • Aja’s Website: AjaEvansCounseling.com

                                          •  

                                             

                                            Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                            1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                            2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                            3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                                            4.  Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                                            5. 48 min
                                            6. Opening to Healthy Relationships To Foster Financial Well-Being with Elizabeth Overstreet

                                              Today, Ed is joined by relationship coach Elizabeth Overstreet. She helps her clients get clear on the mindset that may be attracting the wrong experiences into their love lives. Elizabeth is the author of Love You and He Will Too: A Smart Woman's Roadmap for Happy, Healthy Relationships.

                                               

                                              Listen in as Elizabeth shares how she guides clients in developing a clearer vision of their love lives. She speaks on the relationship between love and money and how both can coexist.

                                               

                                              Elizabeth talks about the all-important concept of self-love, and why truly learning to love yourself can only come with self-accountability: recognizing your faults and taking a closer look at your responsibilities in the relationships you have with others. In other words, self-love is a process of learning about yourself and how we impact the people around us.

                                               

                                              She explains how we can navigate the learning, healing, and growth journey alongside our partner, especially during those times when our partner “falls behind” or gets stuck on their path, in a way that both can enjoy the gifts of financial well-being in their relationship.

                                               

                                              Finally, she emphasizes the importance of taking a close look at one’s upbringing in order to gain a more holistic perspective on their money beliefs and, of course, how money beliefs clash or complement each other between a couple.

                                               

                                               

                                              Key Topics:

                                              • How Elizabeth “accidentally fell into” becoming a relationship strategist (02:42)
                                              • What it takes to experience self-love (06:38)
                                              • What to do if your partner doesn’t experience growth at the same level as you (10:18)
                                              • How Elizabeth gets to know the source of client issues (15:26)
                                              • The limitations of ambition in the context of marriage (24:48)
                                              • Guiding couples through their money roadblocks and challenges (31:06)
                                              • Having money conversations with your partner (36:27)

                                              •  

                                                 

                                                Resources:

                                                • https://elizabethoverstreet.com/

                                                •  

                                                  Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                                  1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                                  2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                                  3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                                                  4.  Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                                                  5. 42 min
                                                  6. How The Modern Widows Club Transforms Profound Pain into Life Purpose with Carolyn Moor

                                                    Today, Ed is joined by Carolyn Moor, humanitarian, mom, and the Founder of Modern Widows Club. She is the host of the Healthy Widow Healthy Woman Podcast and curriculum creator at the Widow Empowerment School of Thought (WESOT).

                                                     

                                                    Widowed on Valentine’s Day 2000 and with two young daughters to raise solo, Carolyn struggled to find the mentors she needed to model the healing and growth she desperately sought. This ultimately led to the founding of Modern Widows Club in Carolyn’s very own living room in 2011.

                                                     

                                                    Listen in as Carolyn does a deep dive into the unique needs and experiences of widows. She reflects on her endlessly-inspiring story from becoming a mentor to a leader to a global advocate for widows everywhere.

                                                     

                                                    “This is what happens when you listen very clearly to tens of thousands of widows and you start seeing the lack of opportunity, and systems that are set up for them to fail and struggle in—and then ask ‘why?’.”

                                                     

                                                    Carolyn explains how Modern Widows Club has pioneered what she calls “the healthy widow pathway forward” and created “the grief to growth bridge” to help widows everywhere hope, heal, grow, and lead.

                                                     

                                                    Key Topics:

                                                    • About Modern Widows Club (01:26)
                                                    • Why it’s always “the last woman standing” in a relationship (06:26)
                                                    • The unique challenges of survivors of suicide (10:16)
                                                    • Navigating brain fog and grief surrounding “the detachment problem” (12:56)
                                                    • How attachment theory informs the grieving process (16:30)
                                                    • The seven-year cycle widows have to endure to rebuild their life (22:25)
                                                    • From two incomes to none (29:39)
                                                    • Understanding your tax options as a widow (34:47)

                                                    •  

                                                       

                                                      Resources:

                                                      • modernwidowsclub.org
                                                      • Healthy Widow Healthy Woman Podcast

                                                      •  

                                                         

                                                        Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                                        1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                                        2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                                        3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                                                        4.  Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                                                        5. 43 min
                                                        6. Why Your Body is So Important in Your Financial Well-being with Bob Wheeler CPA

                                                          [explicit content]

                                                          Today, Ed is joined by Bob Wheeler, CPA. He’s the owner of a full tax practice with 12 employees and about 1000 clients. Bob is also the CFO of The Comedy Store and has served on the leadership team for the past 25 years.

                                                           

                                                          Bob is the owner of The Money Nerve, where he conducts workshops and speaking engagements, offers courses and books, and hosts the podcast Money You Should A$k.

                                                           

                                                          Listen in as Bob discusses all things money and emotions, and why he is so passionate about helping people get more intentional about how they manage, invest, and spend their money. He looks at financial responsibility as the process of aligning your spending with long-term goals.

                                                           

                                                          Bob explains how he creates a safe space for each of his clients in order to nurture a partnership with them, using such modalities as somatic therapy to help them navigate challenging areas, from taxes, to marriage, to unhealthy money stories nurtured in childhood, all the way to suicidal ideation.

                                                           

                                                          He also talks about the importance of getting in touch with your body and noting your visceral reactions whenever you deal with money. He says that allowing your body to be creative as it was when you were a child—to play, dance, and stay curious—helps your biology catch up with your mental maturity around finances.

                                                           

                                                           

                                                          Key Topics:

                                                          • About Bob (00:55)
                                                          • What it means to be responsible around money (03:25)
                                                          • How Bob uses somatic therapy to help clients deal with their taxes (08:42)
                                                          • Facing the trauma that led to the development of unhealthy money stories (11:27)
                                                          • Dealing with suicidal thoughts (13:56)
                                                          • How somatic therapy works (20:18)
                                                          • How to tap into vulnerability to address physical discomfort around money (26:51)
                                                          • Staying more fully in your body through adversity (28:40)
                                                          • Money and marriage (34:29)
                                                          • Separating story from truth (42:07)
                                                          • Self-empowerment versus victim mentality (46:08)

                                                          •  

                                                             

                                                            Resources:

                                                            • Check out Bob and The Money Nerve here: https://themoneynerve.com/

                                                            •  

                                                               

                                                              Connect With Healthy Love and Money:

                                                              1.  Schedule your free 30-Minute Discovery Call About Therapy-Informed Financial Planning™.
                                                              2.  Learn about your money and attachment style with this short Attachment Style Quiz.
                                                              3.  Buy the Double Award Winning Book: The Healthy Love and Money Way. 
                                                              4.  Hit Follow on Your Favorite Podcast Player To Get the Latest Episodes.

                                                              5. 53 min

                                                              About Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples

                                                              From the publisher's feed

                                                              Why did you spend so much money on… Couples have fights, disagreements, and misunderstandings about money all the time. This is normal, but is it healthy for your relationship? The solutions to money differences are not always as apparent as smart couples would think.

                                                              More shows like Healthy Love & Money: Financial Therapy, Intimacy, Conflict & Communication for Couples

                                                              Freakonomics Radio by Freakonomics Radio + Stitcher

                                                              Freakonomics Radio

                                                              31,912 Listeners

                                                              Criminal by Vox Media Podcast Network

                                                              Criminal

                                                              37,583 Listeners

                                                              Money Guy Show by Brian Preston and Bo Hanson

                                                              Money Guy Show

                                                              3,233 Listeners

                                                              The School of Greatness by Lewis Howes

                                                              The School of Greatness

                                                              21,054 Listeners

                                                              BiggerPockets Money by BiggerPockets Money

                                                              BiggerPockets Money

                                                              3,064 Listeners

                                                              The Money Sessions by Tiffany McLain

                                                              The Money Sessions

                                                              96 Listeners

                                                              The Estranged Heart by Kreed Revere

                                                              The Estranged Heart

                                                              101 Listeners

                                                              The Mel Robbins Podcast by Mel Robbins

                                                              The Mel Robbins Podcast

                                                              18,923 Listeners