HER

How private are those saucy messages and photos you're sharing?You probably know someone who has been involved in sexting. It can start innocently enough but might escalate to messages or videos that can be troublesome. Sexting has been linked to intimate partner violence. Sharing those saucy or explicit images or messages can make you vulnerable. Why is sexting a bad idea? First, recognize your sexts are not private. Anything that goes over a cellular network can be subpoenaed. The government has the ability to keep records of any communication that is sent electronically. Snapchat is not immune to storage. Second, the person who is asking you to send sexts is probably not a good guy. Studies show that men who engage in sexting are more likely to be violent. Complaints come into the Orange County (California) Sheriff’s Department frequently that sext content is being shared publicly. Your intended audience is probably sitting with a buddy when texting. You must assume it’s not being kept private. If you share your information online, keep in mind that it will be available in the future. Be sure you won’t be embarrassed about what you’re posting in ten years. Apple offers end-to-end encryption so they don’t have access to the actual content of messages. But, this doesn’t guarantee that your sexts are private. Screen shots may be shared when your relationship ends. There are criminal and civil penalties for sharing sexting content, depending on the state laws. The problem is that it’s happening so often that the guilty sharer will probably get away with it. This frequently happens to girls in junior high school. Young ladies are going through body changes and dealing with esteem issues. These girls are sharing photos of their bodies for acceptance from love interests and are vulnerable to future online abuse as a result of these images. There are parental controls to help you keep your daughter safe by monitoring websites and hours of cell phone use. Lay down boundaries for texting by defining what’s allowed and what might be provocative and damaging. Turn on tracking on phones. Be sure your child knows that a cell phone is a privilege and not a right. Establish boundaries in the beginning so you don’t have to backpedal. Keep the sexts coy so they wouldn’t make you do more than blush if they appeared online. Subtlety is sexy. Do not send pictures and video. Exes can be vengeful jackasses. The person who is must likely to hurt you with these images is the recipient. Delete these images yourself. Listen in as tech expert David Sparks shares what you should know to protect yourself from the dangers of sexting.

Combat text neck and incorporate yoga to help heal your body.If you have a mobile device, chances are good that you spend a lot of time hunched over like a vulture, picking at scraps of information. Adults and children alike have this question-mark posture. Text neck describes the condition of neck pain from the head being pushed forward and craning down. This posture can affect your heart, digestive system, jaw, shoulders and back.  This position puts ten pounds of pressure per inch on your neck. With a six-inch neck that’s 60 pounds of pressure you’re dumping on your body. Standing with good alignment is possible for anyone. Lie down to learn how your body should be aligned. Learn to get in touch with your body and your breath. Relax your body so it settles into the support of the surface below you. Move to standing. Relax the backs of your knees, roll the shoulders back and tap the top of your head. Relax both hands. Consider the crown of your head (where you were tapping) as having a magnet pointed toward the sky. You can also assess your posture by standing against the wall and seeing what touches the wall. Does the back of your head touch? Is your spine curved? You can heal the texting damage with yoga. Yoga is about reconnecting with who you are inside and with your physical body. You don’t have to bend yourself into a pretzel to do yoga. Strengthen your core and improve your posture by sitting or standing tall. Rest your hand just below your belly button. Find your breath. Feel your belly fill and soften as you inhale. Engage your abdominal muscles on the inhale. You can sing on the exhale in the shower or in the car. Our bodies have wear patterns like a worn pair of shoes. If you want to have good posture you have to make it a regular habit. Improve your body’s wear pattern. How can you mindfully text? Be aware of your posture. Adapt the screen to your body. Lift your device so it’s in your line of sight. Get an editor’s desk or slanted stand so your screen or reading material is at a helpful angle. You can use a voice-to-type feature to help your posture. There’s no need to adapt your body to the screen. Make your environment work for you. Listen in as yoga expert Carol Krucoff shares how you can combat text neck and heal your body with yoga.

Is it normal to feel like you've fallen out of love with someone? How can you work through it?You thought you’d found "the one" who you’re meant to be with for the rest of your life. Then, something happens and it seems like the love dies. The statistics for marriage are pretty bleak. Fifty percent of first marriages end in divorce. Seventy-five to eighty percent of divorcees will enter a second marriage within five years. Sixty-six percent of second marriages and seventy-three percent of third marriages end in divorce. How can you find a relationship that will last over time? Relationships have five stages. First comes the magic of falling in love. You can’t think of anyone else. Your love chemicals are pumping. You feel like a teenager and can’t get enough of your lover. Second, you become a couple. The initial spark has moved into spending an enjoyable life together. You hope that love will deepen so you have a long-term love. Third is disillusionment. You know from the divorce statistics that happily-ever-after is rare. Trauma, drama, seeing someone for who he really is can change the template of the relationship. People get busy and actuality doesn’t match the reality. By letting go of the illusions you have of yourself and your partner, you can make a fair assessment of your relationship. Many of the conflicts you have with your mate are rooted in the traumas you had as a child. This stage is like hitting the wall. By sticking with the relationship and working together, you may be able to survive the disillusionment. You might want to see a therapist together so you can put all these things out on the table and attempt to work through them. Fourth is creating real, lasting love. Putting in the work in your relationship and accepting the actuality of who you both are can help you create a mutually pleasurable future. Embrace the incompatibility and care for one another. You may be a night owl and he’s a lark. You can work through that difference and find time together. Discover ways to grow together and work through the changes that life brings. This is your reward for getting past the disillusionment. You see your mate’s flaws and you’ve done some healing. This love gives the same brain activity as young lovers have but without the fear and anxiety. Fifth is finding your calling as a couple. Now you have two people aging together, facing challenges together. You’re stronger and calmer and can use your love to help others. To be fair, the disillusionment phase may reveal that you are not right for one another. It may be smarter and healthier to divorce. In many cases, you can work through the disorientation from reality together. Listen in as Dr. Jed Diamond shares how to navigate the five stages of relationships. Email [email protected] and mention the show to get two free guidelines to help you find an everlasting love.

What should you expect from a hook-up app?Hook-up apps have replaced the in-person hook-up bars of the 1970s. They’re referred to as adult friend finders. These geo-locating apps for your phone are designed to help you find a partner now. You can tailor your app to suit your dating tastes. You can also turn on your app before walking up to a stranger in a bar, in order to check if this attractive person is available for what you seek. Adult friend finder apps are about finding someone right now for instant gratification. These apps are also used by folks who want something on the side. Dating websites are a better bet if you want to get to know someone. If you’re looking for a relationship, investigate dating websites.  If you use apps or websites to meet strangers, be sure you use sensible practices and let someone know where you’re going. It’s better to be safe than sorry. The greatest challenge you may face is that the person doesn’t match the profile photo.  Most of the people on these apps are millennials, but that doesn't mean older people might not pop up on the younger-targeted apps. It’s important to be technologically savvy when using these apps. You don’t want to send a photo of a body part too early in a relationship. You also want to double check the interface to be sure you’re not sending your intimate photo to your Twitter following or to a family message group. Relationship order is changing in these modern times. Sexual and romantic intimacy seem to come after hook-ups. Folks may have plenty of intercourse but not know how to go on a date. Going out to have social fun and not seeking immediate sexual gratification can help develop social skills and friendships. These skills assist in creating intimate relationships. A healthy, nurturing upbringing can improve your ability to connect to other people. Trauma and abuse in the home weakens one’s ability to trust others for connection. Listen in as Rob Weiss, LCSW, shares how hook-up apps are changing dating behavior.

Orgasms have historical significance, but their purpose has changed over time. And, the conversation about menstruation is changing.Orgasms play an important role in female sexual health. The evolutionary roots of the experience have been difficult to uncover.  A research study in the Journal of Experimental Zoology recently concluded the orgasmic response originated in mammals more than 150 million years ago to release eggs after sex. Animal studies have found that intercourse stimulates ovulation. Human females ovulate regularly nowadays, so the orgasm doesn’t need to push out human eggs. The clitoris may have been located inside the body in our evolutionary past, making the orgasm necessary to stimulate the hormones and release of eggs. The body has evolved, but the orgasm stuck around. It’s common for women not to orgasm during intercourse. Movies and novels portray it differently. You need to be open and honest about orgasm. Talk to your partner. Speak with your doctor. Enlighten the women in your family about orgasm and sexual health so they know what to expect genetically. Speaking of women’s health, the conversation about menstruation is changing. Eight states are dropping sales tax on feminine hygiene products. These products are finally being classified as necessities. New products are on the market to make menstruation less inconvenient. The conversation needs to be had. No more hiding the pads in the bottom of the shopping cart and pretending menstruation doesn’t happen. No more commercials of women wearing white and going horseback riding to sell pads. There are now apps like Cloo and Period Tracker to keep track of menstrual cycles. Periods are less predictable for perimenopausal women. These apps are great for tracking irregular cycles. Period-proof panties like Thinx are meant to be worn without tampons or pads. This is a great alternative to cleaning panties with soap and cold water when feminine hygiene products don’t deliver all the protection expected. Menstrual reservoir cups like the Diva Cup are used to collect period blood and dispose of it. It eliminates the landfill impact of menstruation. It allows for enumerable reuse. It tucks into the vagina and is relatively leak-free. Lola is a tampon delivery service that saves women from enduring shopping trips for hygiene products. Tampons are organic cotton and the assortment can be customized to your needs. Listen in as Dr. Barb DePree shares about the importance of orgasm and new developments in the conversation about menstruation.

Find out about the latest trends in ladyscaping and how to groom with the least impact on your health.The Journal of American Medical Association recently published a study of 3000 women’s pubic hair habits. Sixty-two percent of these women had complete removal at least once. Some women do it for style and others for health reasons. As members of the animal kingdom, humans have body hair for a reason. Other things are serving the purpose that body hair once possessed, so pubic hair serves more as an accessory nowadays. We have other hygiene practices, so we don’t need as much pubic hair. Pubic hair acts as a cushion for sensitive skin. It also traps bacteria from entering the vagina. This is why girls who haven’t hit puberty have a higher incidence of irritation. Waxing, shaving, lasering and trimming can get rid of the hair. Lasering is most effective for people who have light skin and dark hair. The risk of infection doesn’t go up in the area if a woman has good personal hygiene. Lasering is great for the areas where body hair isn't trendy, like outside of the bikini line. Permanent hair removal is considered two years. Waxing tends to be the most problematic. Hair must be grown long enough to wax. A hot, sticky substance is applied to the hair and ripped off. It’s yanked off so hard it pulls out the hair follicles. Waxing is a traumatic event. Burns can land you in the emergency room. There’s risk of infection, ingrown hairs, abscess, lacerations, and allergic reaction to the wax. If you’re prone to herpes, waxing can stimulate it. Take your herpes medication before waxing to avoid the rash. Shaving is easiest. Replace your razors frequently. Dull spots on the razor will hit every spot on your skin. Get a razor that can curve with the body. If you have multiple blades, you shouldn’t have to make as many passes with the razor. Make sure your skin is as hydrated as possible and shave near the end of your shower. Never shave dry because it irritates the skin. Use a shaving cream or gel and let it sit on the area for 30-60 seconds so it has a chance to moisturize the hair. Use conditioner if you’re out of shaving cream. Your pubic hair can thin, turn gray or fall out. You may consider leaving some hair so you feel younger as you age. Some women consider themselves unclean if they haven’t groomed their pubic hair. If you have a lot of hair and sweat a lot, you may consider grooming for health reasons. The hair can trap bacteria that contribute to yeast infections in very rare cases. Listen in as Dr. Doris Day shares the current trends and best practices for pubic hair grooming.

Clothing makes a statement. Find a look that works for you.You’ve seen the clickbait lists on what you shouldn’t be wearing. It’s time to take fashion advice from an expert. You want to look young and vital as you age. Your body shape may be changing, and you may have areas that you showed off in your 20s you now want to camouflage. Staying current and hip doesn’t mean you have to shop in a store that caters to the younger set. Find manufacturers that specialize in your body shape. You can look great at any weight, but you have to learn your body shape. Don’t give up on looking good. You don’t have to commit to a wardrobe of elastic clothing and cropped pants. You can also look alluring and attractive at any age. Dating later in life brings its own wardrobe challenges. The youth market won’t provide you with the clothing that would appeal to a silver fox. Wear a thong if you want. Be sure it fits and doesn’t dig into your sides. Wearing a tight thong under form-fitting trousers may not be flattering. Don’t go braless if you’re a C cup or larger. Support your breast tissue properly. Wearing the proper undergarments will make your outer clothing look better. Nothing makes a woman look heavier than wearing an ill-fitting bra. Dressing like a professional, powerful woman without dressing like a man is challenging. It’s easy to grab a pantsuit, but it’s not always flattering. Get your colors done by an expert so your clothing flatters you. The colors you wear should not drain the color from your face. Wear dark colors where you don’t want to draw attention. Make sure your darker clothing fits you perfectly. Break up suits by pairing brighter jackets with darker pants. Consider a coat dress to look feminine and powerful. Image and fashion consultant Lori Ann Robinson shares how you can look good at any age, any weight.

Your morning breakfast choices may have as much sugar as dessert; maybe even more.The media is shoving breakfast at us as the most important meal of the day. But, might it just be the most hyped meal of the day? The pastries available at your favorite coffee shop are on par with desserts. The fat, sugar and calorie content are competitive. At some point, having dessert-type foods for breakfast became normalized. The processed yogurt you grab from the dairy case is also loaded with sugar. It’s sold as something that can help you slim down because it’s technically yogurt.  Breakfast cereals are sugar traps. You have to read the label and look at the sugar content. Some brands are better than others. Shredded wheat doesn’t usually have added sugar. Puffed rice and bran cereals may have minimal added sugar. You can also check the organic aisle for cereal with lower sugar contents. Consider whole grain hot cereals. Starting your day with sugar sets you up for sugar cravings as the day continues. Whole foods and cooking your own meal are the best options for breakfast. Our modern lifestyle dictates seeking convenience, so make sure you read the label before you throw that quick bite into your grocery basket. Nut butter is a great option. You can buy grab-and-go packages of nut butter that do not require refrigeration. You can put nut butter on fruit or whole grain baked goods. Buy organic when you can. Skip the low-fat and fat-free options, because they’re very processed. Ricotta cheese makes a yummy spread on whole grain baked goods and fruits. Drizzle it with some honey. Try making your own smoothie so you can monitor the sugar content. Start with a protein base, like Greek yogurt, kefir, nut milk or protein powder. Add frozen fruit. Fresh fruit makes a thinner smoothie. You can also add some greens, like spinach or kale. Follow up with chia seeds, nut butter, flax seeds or cacao for added flavor. You need at least 50 grams of protein a day. Read your labels to find out where you can get it, and don’t just save it for one meal. Instead, eat protein throughout the day. Eggs are a great source of protein for your morning meal. Hard-boiled eggs keep for a week and are perfect for a grab-and-go breakfast. You can make a frittata or omelet with fresh eggs and random vegetables. You can also measure out egg whites from a carton. One regular-sized egg has six grams of protein. If 12 hours hasn’t passed since your last meal, you’re not really "breaking the fast." Look at your clock. Did you wake up hungry? You don’t have to eat as soon as you wake. Late dinners, snacks and overnight work shifts will change the hour you should break your fast. Listen in as chef and dietician Abbie Gellman gives you the score on breakfast choices.

Selfies and online chatting may have you considering plastic surgery to improve your appearance.Selfies and online chats have replaced mirrors in modern society. Females age 16-25 spend about five hours a week taking selfies. There are 93 million selfies taken worldwide each day. The average millennial will take an average of 25,700 selfies over a lifetime. Anywhere you go, you see someone taking a selfie. These images can be distorted due to angles and lighting. Imperfections and asymmetries are magnified by selfies. But, logic stands that if you're taking a selfie, of course you want to look as good as possible. Additionally, first impressions were once made in person. Now, you may be making a first impression via social media. You want to make that first impression a positive one. Whether good or bad, we live in a different world. People are comparing their facial features to celebrities. Magazine covers are retouched, models are professionally lit, and certain cover models have had cosmetic procedures done. Some young people bring their selfies into a surgeon's office as proof they need plastic surgery. Common trouble areas referenced in selfies are the neck, lips, nose, chin, and skin imperfections. An ethical plastic surgeon will consult each patient and advise against unnecessary procedures. Just because the selfies don’t look perfect doesn’t mean the face is out of balance under normal angles and lighting. What’s the motivation behind the urge to get cosmetic surgery? These procedures can give you self-confidence, but it’s not necessarily going to snag a new mate or secure a new job. Be realistic about your expectations. If you’re looking for natural results, you want to fill areas that are depressed and decrease areas that are excessive. Using your own fat as filler can help bring balance to your face and body. Unlike other fillers, your own fat isn’t synthetic and won’t cause allergic reactions. In fact, 30-50 percent of fat injections last permanently. Areas that are static tend to last longer than mobile areas. Your skin looks smoother and more natural. Older folks spend more time with online chatting than taking selfies. FaceTime and Skype chats with family and friends has lead to a desire for cosmetic improvements. Job seekers may want to make some adjustments so they appear younger and improve their chances in the marketplace. Online chatting and videos can distortion images. The mature set usually wants to turn back the clock a bit or have the outside match the inside. This crowd has realistic expectations for improvement. They want to look naturally "fresher." Plastic surgery is one more option to spiff up one’s appearance. If you're looking to freshen your appearance, what should you know before you go under the knife or needle? Be sure to see a board-certified plastic surgeon. No national board uses “cosmetic” in the title. Look for someone who has experience in the field. You need to see the surgeon to discuss treatment before booking the procedure. You don’t want to be stuck with a one-size-fits-all treatment, simply because the clinic just bought some new equipment.  You also want to be sure the facility is accredited for surgery by a national organization. Only 27 states require any credentialing of surgical facilities in an office space. Listen in as Dr. Robert Singer discusses what you’re really seeing in your selfies and/or chats, as well as how to discuss potential changes with a licensed surgeon.

Work on your core strength and aerobic fitness for better heart health.Exercise is a crucial part of protecting your heart health. Aerobic and core fitness are both necessary. Don't let a sedentary lifestyle result in a cardiovascular disease diagnosis. Your body needs 30-45 minutes of exercise five days a week. Moderately strenuous aerobic exercise, including walking, makes a difference. If you’re lacking motivation, try getting a smartphone app. Couch 2 5K takes seven weeks to get you from couch potato status to running a 5k distance. Do a little research to find what might work well for you. Stop worrying about getting thin. Concern yourself with getting fit. Listen in as Dr. Jenn Haythe shares how you can get moving for better heart health.