Today we’re sharing a conversation with Christine Emba, a senior fellow at the American Enterprise Institute and author of Rethinking Sex: A Provocation. Her book takes a hard look at the messiness of modern sexual culture—especially the way we’ve come to rely on this “hands off” ethic that says as long as something’s consensual, it’s fine. But what happens when consent isn’t enough for people to get the types of relationships they’re looking for?

Mallory and Diana, meanwhile, can speak to the ups and downs of belonging to a religious culture that takes the opposite approach, where leaders emphasize the spiritual and relational stakes of sex and actively guiding decision-making. We talk with Christine about the trade-offs. What do we lose when we make sex entirely private and individual? What do we gain when it’s seen as something shaped by community? how do we discourage harmful behaviors without piling on shame? How do you take sex seriously without making everyone weird about it?

Se also get into the gender question—like whether we should acknowledge that, on average, men and women want different things when it comes to sex. Should we be building cultural expectations around those differences? Or are gender norms the thing we need to keep trying break free from?

We loved this conversation—and Christine gave us a lot to think about. Let us know what you think in the comments.

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit thesoloists.substack.com