You Are Not A Frog

How Do You Say No When Someone Might Die?


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Saying no and setting boundaries are core to avoiding burnout. But if saying no might put a patient at harm – or worse – what can you do?

In this quick dip episode, Rachel explains the concept of core and flex boundaries along with core and flex consequences. Core boundaries are non-negotiables that we always enforce, rather than preferences we’d like to enforce but can be flexible around.Key to this approach is also recognising the short- and long-term consequences of saying no.

By not setting boundaries or saying no when we need to, we risk damaging our relationships and neglecting our own needs. This can lead to regret, unfulfilled goals, and negative effects on other people who rely on us. But by setting rigid and flexible boundaries, we can get closer to a healthy work-life balance, and keep our priorities and commitments in tact.

Listen to this episode to
  • Discover how to set boundaries and say no in challenging situations, ie when someone's life might be at stake.
  • Understand the concept of core and flex boundaries and how they can help in decision-making.
  • Learn about the short-term and long-term consequences of setting boundaries and saying no, and the importance of considering them when making decisions.

Episode highlights
  • [00:03:43] Introducing core and flex boundaries
  • [00:04:55] Core boundaries
  • [00:06:21] Flex boundaries
  • [00:09:26] What happens when core boundaries are in conflict
  • [00:11:34] Short-term consequences
  • [00:12:34] Long-term consequences
  • [00:15:59] Core and flex consequences
  • [00:17:59] Hierarchy of boundaries
  • [00:19:40] Putting this into practice

Resources
  • THRIVE Weekly Planner
  • How to Avoid Amygdala Hijack Part 1 – Episode 169
  • How to Avoid Amygdala Hijack Part 2 – Episode 171
  • The Problem with Boundaries – Episode 161
  • Download the episode’s workbook and CPD form. You can use them for reflection and to submit for your appraisal.

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Connect with Rachel

Have any questions? Contact Rachel through these platforms:


Find out more about our training

Mentioned in this episode:

FrogFest Virtual 2025

Join Rachel along with Graham Allcott and Dr Sarah Coope, on 7th May, 2025.

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You Are Not A FrogBy Dr Rachel Morris

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