How Long Gone

One-on-one pod today: Chris is in Palm Desert, and Jason is home in Glendale. We chat about TJ's inadvertent husband meals, a review of the Erewhon Cactus Flea flavored smoothie, Chris apologizes for tweeting about Horses and then TJ had dinner there last night, Chris realizes he's staying at a Republican hotel, TJ tries to get a fashion week gig, Iowa schools announce a nickname rule, when professional tennis players cross the pickleball line, and we debate whether or not teachers and students should be allowed to fight each other physically.

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One-on-one pod recorded live and uncut (for the very first time) from Chris’ house in Los Angeles. We chat about doing a live show at a podcast convention in Denver, what it’s like to stay at an airport hotel, tangling with Swifties, Dua’s eyebrows, Chris played ping pong with Roger Federer thanks to our On Running family, we predict the effects Trump’s mugshot has on our nation, regular guys who have fat juicy asses, and we get tangled up with Harry and Meghan in the Aussie newspapers.

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Karla Welch is a stylist, costume designer, and founder. She spoke to us from her own Island (Canadian) about what's going on with Scooter Braun, She drives from LA to Canada because of three rottweilers, an Olsen twin's baby clothes, she used to have a paper route, the only people who had pagers were doctors or thirteen-year-olds, her love of F1, She invites Chris to a Tracy Anderson private, when we got shamed into canceled our Soulcycle, Tequila Sunrise with Michelle Pfeiffer, she's an official front of house shawty, her period underwear company got the Walmart account, and how she got discovered at Barney's.

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One-on-one pod recorded live and uncut from Glendale. We have our hurricane doubts, how weather itself became weaponized in the culture wars, Chris thinks climate change is real, Lana's footwear at the Antonoff-Qualley wedding, why we (not us, at all) are afraid of sex scenes in movies, you don't see sideburns so much anymore, the intersection of raver and metal is a beaded necklace, Chris likely has been to every House Of Blues in America, has the cannabis market's bubbler-bubble popped? Why Sweden runs on Snus, Kumail at Funke, we're coming to Denver and we're staying at the airport hotel, and we try to explore the mind of a useless replier.

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Coco Mellors is an author living in New York. Her current book, Cleopatra and Frankenstein, is available now. We chat about jet lag or depression, wifi was down on his flight, so Chris watched Yellowstone, is her name real? Dancing with countertop drugs, Carrie Bradshaw read her book, was SATC better than AJLT? A recent holiday in Italy, her vacation style, bicoastal humility, she makes a good case for going to school, her indie sleaze phase, why she stopped partying, her drunk meal of choice, how her relationships have changed, dealing with her onscreen adaptation, the famously underrated man in his forties, who plays Cleo, and her top three dry goods.

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Stewart Copeland of The Police is known as one of the greatest drummers of all time. We chat about our return home to America, Stewart's bad-ass jam zone, he's been cutting video since before we were born, the difference between prog and punk, how a haircut can change your songwriting, his dad was in the C.I.A., his old guys rule cycler's breakfast routine, Chinese billiards, his kids used to get weirded out watching him on stage and now they want artist passes, when bands play so long they have porta potties on stage, if we're all here doing drugs then whos playing the music? It's more fun playing on a Ringo-style setup but he'll never get rid of his massive kit, his Brentwood scene report, and his new book is out next month.

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One-on-one pod today, Chris is in Stockholm, and it's TJ's last day in Copenhagen. We chat about the best margherita pizza in Jason's life, a cemetery scene report, we guess the ethnicity of Whoopi Goldberg's character at the Danish stage production of Sister Act, but the protein of today's episode is TJ's review of the vegetable tasting menu at Noma.

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One-on-one pod recorded live and uncut from Copenhagen. We chat about Tekla boxers, wearing a suit because its the only jacket TJ has, shitty sushi, ratchet bitches go vegan, hip hop’s Lil Tay, when you have eight kids, Americans be like, etc., anyone in Copenhagen can buy a G-Wagon (used) where will we sit at GANNI (front row, blocking women) Mads Mikkelsen is the final boss of horny, and we compare Taylor and Beyonce’s tours to Barbenheimer. 

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A one-on-one pod recorded live and uncut from the Coco Hotel in Copenhagen. We chat about arriving at our utopian home on the worst day of weather they've had all year, I'm looking for a STUD, I've already got the STD, so all I need is U, a recap of our first live podcast in Denmark, our special guest, the legendary Mikael Bertelsen, all of our meals, microclimates in the bedroom, TJ secured the Noma res, Danish be like / Americans be like, luggage innovation, mandatory shower pissing, everyone here is hot and thing and the only food they eat is bread with butter and cheese, and Emma Cline's "The Guest's" ending discourse trudges on.

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One-on-one pod recorded live and uncut from The Standard Hotel in London. We recap our shows here with special guests Isamaya Ffrench, Raven Smith, and Whitmer Thomas, the silver lining of parasocial relationships, Madame Tussauds wax museum, Rita Ora, Little Mix, buying $200 magazines while drunk, we rewrite the playbook on meatballs, housemade edibles, and come say hi when we're in Copenhagen.

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