How Long Gone

One-on-one pod recorded live and uncut from New York City just hours before our show at Tribeca Festival. We chat about when we used to like being hungover, a Manhattan walk of shame, making a res at Sadelle’s 6 months in advance, the harvest will be harmed, Equinox scene report in NY, Puma ankle socks, hitting BJ Novak’s afterparty, explosive walking, a dinner in LA with Andy Baraghani, and TJ has a special run in on his flight to JFK.

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Alexander Shulan runs the fine art gallery LOMEX in New York City. We chat about Chris seeing a person shower with a mask on, The Chrisley’s caught a case, what we think a bottom should be ordering on Uber Eats, the art business is notoriously dirty, people are trying to make actual art non-fungible, what factors go into pricing a work of art, questions you might ask someone to find out if they come from generational wealth, what makes a perfect gallery opening party, getting into some trouble down in Switzerland, Alex’s mom was a restaurant critic and would take him with her as a child, the archetypal gallerists wardrobe, and Alex’s Diet Coke and Frappuccino habit.

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Otegha Uwagba is writer from London. Her newest book We Need To Talk About Money is a Sunday Times bestseller and an Observer book of the year. We chat about TJ’s Ionpack DJ set, computers and phones don’t work in Florida, writers have unemployed vibes, Dixie Cups are racist, Chris has a tough time keeping his towel on, an article about how writers shouldn’t talk, women’s shoe sizes oscillate wildly, petty British gossip, rappers getting plastic surgery, fancying The Rock, getting verified on wiki feet, why Chris was cut from an article that Otegha wrote, and a Jubilee scene report.

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We talk about our elaborate Pride plans, Chris hates Lyft, buffalo cauliflower hangover, Chris made me feel like I was on Hulu’s Fire Island, Balenciaga plain lays, Bitchin’ Sauce, candles that smell like the female orgasm, Gwen and Kourt’s noses have been broken so many times they have superhuman smelling, they know Chris down at Spencer Gifts, talking Top Gun with Bret Ellis, performative crying and performative thrifting, its time to put DaBaby back on Levitating, old head talk, Chris hates the guy who talked to him at Sweetgreen, and TJ figured out exactly why we can’t listen to Kendrick Lamar.

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Andy Baraghani is a chef from the Bay Area, currently living in New York. His new book The Cook You Want To Be is out now. We chat about the Marines Pride campaign, our show at Tribeca Film Festival, chain-smoking Parliaments in a dark corner, reorganizing the furniture in hotel rooms, never show how much the champagne costs, going on Good Morning America, Chris wanting an appliance-free kitchen, persimmons smell like cum, what's happening with Persian food, putting a little bonito flake on your cereal, if we’re all chaotic then none of us are, listening to punk as a teen, where we like to eat in LA, Martin’s potato rolls are canceled, and how to get Andy's boyfriend to stop eating so much fruit.

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Spoon is a band from Austin, Tx, their new album Lucifer On The Sofa is out now. We chat about taking big swings, TJ saw Top Gun: Maverick, getting high in parking structures, The Elden Ring is the Infinite Jest of gaming, the Ps5 is tough to find, TJ booked Spoon to play 15 years ago, Rick Rubin’s polar bear, if Matador is making them do Tik Toks, old music is getting more streams than new, Spoon has no syncs that they regret, how to stay awake while driving from Austin to LA in one straight shot, people who think they’re reinventing music, Howard Stern’s favorite Prince record is the Batman soundtrack, we confront them about canceling on us twice, and we charge up their Sweetgreen cashew.

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One-on-one episode recorded live and uncut from Glendale, Chris & Jason chat about insufferable digital nomads, eating at a chili parlour, crying while watching Dating On The Spectrum, insider trading is a victimless crime, in defense of nepotism, how to be a celebrity at dress normal, Lawry's Prime Rib, we do 30 minutes on a $700 omakase dinner at Nozawa Bar, the street art flash mobs of 2009's Friends With Benefits, it's very difficult to pull off a ribbed tank top successfully, and a social media backlash on TJ talking about "edging" too much on the pod.

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Our friend and host of the podcast Are We On Air? had us on as a guest recently to talk about How Long Gone, and the music that shaped us growing up. It's a fun listen with tons of music so we decided to add it to the feed. Here's Arman's intro for the episode:

Turn on, tune in, drop out! CHRIS BLACK and JASON STEWART join Arman for a little tête-à-tête that will feel like time is slipping like sand through an hourglass.

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Sloane Crosley is a writer living in New York. Her new book Cult Classic is out June 7th. We chat about the new Sky Ferreira, an update on TJ’s water fast, Sloane does not work out, Ana De Armas, getting her house broken into, her crypto investments, Criterion dick, writing with ugly fonts as a litmus test, learning to play tennis on a slanted street, do fucked up people workout more, drinking martinis with Gay Talese, New York is great for walking, the pros, and cons of a Q&Ad and being honest about the nightmare of parenting.

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Max Lakin is a writer from New York City. His work can be seen in NYT, Artforum, The New Yorker, and everywhere else. We chat about testing dirty for mayonnaise, TJ’s declaration of war with a local park’s groundskeepers, the anger issues of baseball guys, cops taking an extra Powerade at the bodega just to feel something real, Max’s thoughts on Balenciaga, Frank Ocean’s fit, when to lay on the floor, not going to Marfa, what Banksy might be up to, the graffiti pipeline, people focusing on the “how” when its irrelevant, $1500 Adidas shirts, the difference between advanced basic and basic plus, in defense of shorts and heavy coats, the vibe shift of dressing for comfort, and where to get a good pair of pumps in the meatpacking district.

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