Before we dive in to this episode, I want to talk about the name of the podcast. reason the podcast is The Refined Collective and not The Refined Woman is because I wanted to make this a space for both men and women to share their stories. With that being said, we’ve got another man on the podcast today!

Reagan Pugh believes any time people gather together is an opportunity for collaboration and refuses to waste those opportunities. He founded Assemble in an effort to support teenagers in collaborations. This week we are talking about success, balance, rest, self-care, and everything in between. We went to high school together and lost touch because life happened. I recently saw his TEDtalk pop up on Facebook and had to reach out.

Adjusting Course

• Though he enjoyed working with Calypso for five or six years, he discovered that the candle was burning at both ends. “I decided I needed to slow down.”
• He left that position and did contract work until he created Assemble two years later.
• “No one ever built a country or grew a company or had an influence on a community without some kind of conflict. They had to live some kind of hero’s journey narrative.”
• He didn’t want to cut himself off from that success, so he worked hard to establish his identity and why he was doing the work.
• He notes that there are some masculinity issues rooted in the idea of working without regard for rest.

Human Connection

• “I look at the moments when I felt most alive in my life and all of those moments have to do with me being an artist, me writing creatively, me telling stories, me bringing a group of people together to talk about what’s really going on.”
• He recognizes the fear he had of what his coworkers would think of his interest in the human connection over the results.
• He thought he was wrong for not being driven by results. “I don’t find any identity in that, so what’s wrong with me?”
• We talk about how Simon Sinek, among others, is a leader in the thought that human connection is what should drive us.
• “Instead of being ashamed…I am starting to realize that it is the higher calling.”

Yes And…

• He recognizes all he learned about improv mentality from Patrician Ryan Madsen, author of “Improv Wisdom.” The tagline of this book is, “Don’t prepare; just show up.”
• “There’s this idea of believing that the best decision was the one you just made.”
• When you make a decision, it is not worth your time to question it.
• We talk about something we both struggle with: the need to be right. He remembers one moment he had with his brother where he asked him, “Would you rather be right or would you rather have a relationship?”

Who Am I?

• We discuss the control he felt in his first role at Catalyst, but he realized he could not control was that his identity was not in that work.
• When he had broken a bone and gone through a breakup, he reflected on how he got to where he is.
• “Who the hell am I? Where am I finding my identity? Do I believe the story I have been telling myself?”
• From that moment forward, he has let go of the control.
• “We’re afraid of the things we’re going to have to deal with if we slow down and ask ourselves who we really are.”
• We talk about fearing success and why we experience this. Fears of being held accountable fearing that we aren’t worthy.
• “What if I put out my unique perspective into the world and there’s crickets on the other side?”

Head over to ReaganPugh.com to find his TED talk, connect with him on social media platforms, and sign up for his email newsletters.

I’ve launched a Bible study for YOU! The Space Between Bible Study and Meditation Guide will give you tools to create a regular rhythm of time with God. Head over to therefinedwoman.com/prayer to grab your guide.

“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.” – Marianne Williamson

XO,

Kat Harris

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