Raising Daughters

How to Handle Homesick College Students

08.24.2023 - By Tim Jordan, MDPlay

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Show Notes: Learn how to handle calls from homesick college freshmen to empower them to learn how to cope, problem-solve, and grow in confidence. Many parents have been guilty of doing too much for their daughters prior to launching them off to college: solving problems, advocating, rescuing, not allowing her to make mistakes or suffer, wanting her to be happy always This results in girls never learning coping skills, how to handle the normal ups & downs of life, face adversity & struggle thru it to overcome obstacles and gain confidence; they lack the confidence to face adversity and handle it because they weren’t allowed to growing up. Dr. Jordan describes a typical call from a homesick college freshman. He shares how to listen, mirror, normalize and validate their feelings, and then how to turn over the problem-solving to them. Learn some helpful phrases to turn problems back over to them to solve such as: “So, what will you do?” “What have you tried?” “What could you do different?” “How could you approach the problem in a different way?” “What have you done in the past when you felt stuck like this?” “You might want to take a break, calm down, & then come back and try again.” Ask who they could reach out to for support and encourage them to use whatever coping strategies have worked in the past: journal, art, music, poetry, letters, nature, exercise, join a club to meet people like did in HS. Dr. Jordan also discusses how to handle the issues of whether or not to have them come home and also how to set boundaries about phone calls home. For a good read for your high school or college aged daughter, use this link to have them find and read Dr. Jordan’s book, Letters from My Grandfather: Timeless Wisdom for a Life Worth Living Here’s the link for Dr. Jordan’s podcast interview with 4 high school seniors discussing why they are afraid to grow up.  

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