Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

How to Set Bridges Instead of Boundaries with Zya Be


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Have you ever hesitated to set a boundary with a friend for fear of pushing them away? 

Or, maybe you found yourself on the receiving end of unspoken expectations and left guessing what your friend truly needed. 

Our friendships are some of the only relationships we have by choice – but sometimes that freedom can make us hesitate to trust. We’re subconsciously testing our friends, waiting for them to prove they will show up and listen. These tests can strain a friendship.

But what if setting boundaries didn’t have to be a test? What if instead we saw it as a bridge: a way to deepen the connection and show our friends how to love us better?

Today, I talk all about friendship boundaries with Zya Be, host of the podcast Your Hell Yes Life. We share real-life experiences with boundaries in friendship and stories about those bridge-crossing moments.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • When owning your “yes” is also about owning your “no” – and how to reassess boundaries that are no longer serving you
  • Being cognizant and upfront about how you like spending time with people, plus, how to create bridges instead of boundaries
  • Different ways you can take a “friendship pause” if a pattern isn’t working rather than immediately ending the friendship
  • Small intimacies, self-love, self-care, and the importance of being explicit about what’s needed when you (or a friend) are going through a hard time


Resources & Links:

In this episode I mention Episode 40 and Episode 54, which are both about neurodivergent friendships, and Episode 74, which is about small intimacies.

Listen to Your Hell Yes Life with Zya Be and follow her on Facebook.

Read Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself by Nedra Glover Tawwab. 

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!

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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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