How to Un Picky Your Picky Eater

Baby-led weaning looked like a complete success with my son. As a baby, he ate fruits, vegetables, meat—everything. Then, around 18 months old, those foods began disappearing. Now that I’m introducing solids to my daughter, I’m approaching feeding differently. Instead of measuring success by how much she eats, I’m asking: How many different foods, flavors, textures, and ingredients is her body learning to handle? In this personal episode, I’m sharing:

• Why I chose not to repeat baby-led weaning in quite the same way

• How oral-motor challenges may influence which foods a child keeps or drops

• Why three small bites can still represent meaningful progress • How variety supports familiarity, sensory tolerance, skill, and flexibility

• Why I follow my daughter’s cues instead of expecting her to finish a predetermined amount

• When volume does matter—and when parents may be placing too much emphasis on it

• How the division of responsibility can reduce pressure at mealtimes

This is not an argument that baby-led weaning causes picky eating. It’s an invitation to rethink what successful feeding actually looks like. Because the goal isn’t just a baby who eats a large volume today. It’s a child whose body is learning to handle an increasingly diverse world of food. Instead of volume, variety.

CLARIFICATION: During this episode, I say “30 different foods per day.” The commonly referenced American Gut Project finding actually compared adults eating more than 30 different plant foods per week with adults eating 10 or fewer. This was adult research—not a pediatric feeding recommendation. I use it as inspiration to encourage variety, not as a rigid target for babies or children.

Research referenced: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5954204/

After more than two decades of feeding therapy and experience working with over 10,000 children, Melanie “Coach Mel” Potock has learned a few things about picky eating—and some of them may surprise you. In this episode, Christine and Melanie have an honest conversation about what struggling eaters and their parents truly need. They explore the worries parents carry, the mealtime habits that may not be helping, and the lessons Melanie has gathered from thousands of children with their own unique temperaments, sensory systems, and feeding challenges. What are parents focusing on that may not matter as much as they think? Can a seemingly harmless request for another bite affect more than tonight’s dinner? What should families do when progress stalls? And what has Melanie’s experience taught her about the way children actually learn to eat? Melanie also shares her perspective on the evolution of feeding therapy, what families should look for in a feeding specialist, and why even the most experienced professionals must remain willing to keep learning. If you have ever wondered whether you are doing something wrong, felt discouraged by slow progress, or questioned what your child really needs from you at the table, this is an episode you will want to hear. ABOUT MELANIE POTOCK Melanie Potock, MA, CCC-SLP, is a pediatric feeding therapist, international speaker, and certified speech-language pathologist with over two decades of experience helping children and families establish healthy relationships with food. Known as “Coach Mel” on Instagram (@mymunchbug_melaniepotock), she is the author of six books, including the award-winning *Raising a Healthy Happy Eater* and, most recently, the book *Responsive Feeding*. A sought-after expert in both typical and complex feeding development, Melanie combines evidence-based strategies with real-life parenting insight. Her guidance has been featured in over 50 media outlets, including CNN and *The New York Times*. Certified by ASHA and the recipient of ASHA’s 2024 State Clinical Achievement Award, Melanie has also received nine ACE awards for excellence in continuing education and provides training for healthcare professionals worldwide. FIND MELANIE Website: https://mymunchbug.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mymunchbug_melaniepotock/ On-demand courses for parents and professionals: https://mymunchbug.com/course-library/ Live online masterclasses: https://mymunchbug.com/feeding-masterclass/ Books: https://mymunchbug.com/books/ Follow Melanie on Instagram for feeding tips and announcements about upcoming courses, live trainings, and new resources.

I chose baby-led weaning with my son because I thought it would help prevent picky eating.

At first, it seemed like it worked. Luke ate meat, vegetables, fruit, and the same foods we were eating. But he also gagged—a lot. I had been told that gagging was normal, so I assumed the struggle meant he was learning.

Then the foods began disappearing.

The foods that required the most chewing went first. Over time, Luke gravitated toward pouches, puffs, meltables, yogurt melts, and other foods that were easier and more predictable for his mouth to manage.

He ate everything—until he didn’t.

Now I’m introducing solids to my daughter, and I’m doing things very differently. I’m not following traditional baby-led weaning. I’m giving her tiny, soft, manageable pieces, introducing a wide variety of flavors and textures, and focusing less on how much she eats.

Instead, I’m creating what I call “food experiences.”

In this episode, I’m sharing what I couldn’t see during Luke’s early feeding journey, what I understand now as a pediatric feeding therapist, and why I believe some babies may need more support than “hand them the food and let them figure it out.”

We’ll talk about:

Why eating a food does not always mean a baby has mastered the skills needed to eat it comfortably

The oral-motor skills required to bite, chew, move, gather, and swallow food

The difference between occasional gagging and a repeated pattern of stressful feeding experiences

Why the most difficult foods may be the first ones a child eventually drops

How oral-motor difficulty can make softer, dissolvable, and predictable foods feel safer

What I mean by a “food experience”

How I’m preserving my daughter’s independence and autonomy without following strict baby-led weaning

Why I’m offering broad variety in small, manageable doses

Why the amount a baby eats is not the only—or even the best—measure of progress

How to challenge a baby’s skills without making every meal feel like a test

This is not an anti-baby-led-weaning episode.

Baby-led weaning can work beautifully for many babies, and research does not show that it broadly causes picky eating. My concern is what may happen when the difficulty of the food repeatedly exceeds the skills of the baby eating it.

BLW does not create an oral-motor problem—but it may reveal one.

When a baby regularly experiences gagging, fatigue, frustration, or difficulty managing food, we shouldn’t automatically assume that every struggle is simply part of learning. Sometimes, the baby may be working much harder than we realize.

My theory is that for some children, enough difficult experiences may eventually teach the nervous system that eating is hard. What looks like picky eating later may partly be that child choosing foods their mouth already knows how to manage.

This time, I’m not loyal to baby-led weaning, traditional spoon-feeding, or any other feeding label.

I’m following the baby in front of me.

This episode reflects my personal experience and clinical perspective. It is not individualized medical or feeding advice. Food size alone does not determine safety. Texture, shape, softness, positioning, developmental readiness, and the individual baby’s feeding skills all matter. Speak with your pediatrician or a qualified feeding professional if your baby regularly coughs, chokes, gags intensely, appears distressed, has difficulty chewing or swallowing, or is not progressing with textures.

What do picky eaters really have in common? I pulled together detailed feeding histories from my own practice because I wanted to know if I was truly seeing a pattern—or simply making feeding struggles more complicated than they needed to be. This is a small clinical snapshot, not a research study. It cannot tell us that one thing caused a child’s picky eating. But when I placed these children’s stories side by side, their eating struggles did not look random. I saw the same clues show up again and again. In this episode, we talk about: Why “picky” may describe what you see, but not explain why it is happening The surprising number of children with certain specific concerns Why constipation, sleep, and mouth breathing can matter at the table Which gender showed up in this small group—and what that may tell us about regulation and sensory needs Why a child’s birth and early feeding story may be an important piece of the puzzle Because if food is the check-engine light, we do not need to guess what is happening underneath. We need to slow down, notice the clues, and ask better questions. Not sure what may be making eating hard for your child right now? Take the Foodology Eating Stage Quiz to learn whether your child is feeling fearful, stuck, curious, or ready for growth—and discover the best next step for where they are today. www.thepickyeaterstest.com

If you've been told feeding therapy isn't covered because the provider is out of network, don't give up just yet. There's a little-known option called a Single Case Agreement (SCA) that, in some situations, allows your insurance company to cover services with an out-of-network provider when appropriate care isn't otherwise available. In this short episode, I'll explain: What a Single Case Agreement is (in plain English) Who may qualify Why so few parents ever hear about this option How to start the conversation with your insurance company The biggest mistakes families make when requesting one While Single Case Agreements aren't guaranteed, they can be a powerful option that helps some families access the specialized feeding therapy their child needs without paying entirely out of pocket. If insurance has been one of the biggest barriers to getting help, this is an episode you won't want to miss.

What if one of the most common questions parents ask at the dinner table is actually making picky eating harder?

The moment a child takes a bite, we often ask:

"Do you like it?"

But what if that's the wrong goal altogether?

In this episode, I explain why your child doesn't have to love a food to learn to eat it and how expecting them to immediately enjoy every new food can create unnecessary pressure. Instead, I'll show you how to model flexibility, encourage curiosity, and help your child develop a healthier relationship with food.

Whether your child is a typical picky eater or struggles with trying any new foods, this simple mindset shift could completely change the way you approach mealtimes.

Why children don't need to love every food they eat

The hidden problem with asking, "Do you like it?"

Simple scripts to replace pressure with curiosity

How to model flexible eating behaviors for your child

Why "good enough" is often a better goal than "I love it"

What it may mean if your child won't even taste a new food

The goal isn't to raise a child who loves broccoli.

The goal is to raise a child who can say, "It's not my favorite, but I can still eat it."

If your child eats fewer than 20 foods, refuses entire food groups, or won't even taste something new, generic advice may not be enough. The first step is understanding why they're stuck.

👉 Take my quiz to identify your child's feeding profile and discover the best next steps for helping them become a more confident and flexible eater. www.thepickyeaterstest.com 

If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another parent who could use a little encouragement at the dinner table.

School is over. Summer is here. And if you're like most parents of a picky eater, you're hoping this will finally be the season things get better.

But here's what I see every year: parents tell themselves they'll focus on feeding once the school-year chaos ends… then summer gets busy, vacations happen, life gets in the way, and suddenly another year has passed with little progress.

In this episode, I'm sharing why waiting rarely makes feeding challenges easier and the biggest mindset shift that changed how I approach helping families. You'll learn why feeding therapy isn't about outsourcing the problem to a professional, why meals often become a stressful "test" for both parents and children, and how real progress starts long before a child takes a bite.

We'll also talk about:

Plus, I'm introducing the FREE Summer of Good Food Challenge—a simple, fun way to help your child build confidence around food while creating positive family memories along the way.

Download the FREE Summer of Good Food Challenge here:
https://foodologyfeeding.mykajabi.com/offers/2BF4ZLzX/checkout 

If you're tired of dreading mealtimes and ready to stop waiting for the "perfect time" to work on feeding, this episode is for you. Because progress doesn't start when your child eats broccoli—it starts when you begin rebuilding their relationship with food.

In this episode, we break down one of the most important foundations in preventing picky eating from expanding: the Plate Boundary.

Many parents unintentionally shrink their child’s food repertoire by offering unlimited refills of preferred foods. Over time, this leads to children skipping other foods on the plate—until once-accepted foods like fruits or vegetables begin to drop off the “safe foods” list.

You’ll learn how to stop this pattern using a simple but powerful structure that stabilizes mealtimes and protects food variety.

We walk through:
• Why unlimited preferred foods can actually increase pickiness
• What the Plate Boundary is and how it works
• The difference between “accepted foods” and “learning foods”
• How to set up plates correctly so variety is naturally maintained
• Exact scripts to use when your child asks for more
• What to expect in the first few weeks of implementation
• Common parent challenges (and how to respond without breaking the boundary)

You’ll also learn when NOT to use the boundary—especially with new or learning foods—so you can support exploration without pressure.

This is a foundational shift in how you structure meals. When implemented consistently, it helps prevent foods from dropping off your child’s accepted list and creates the conditions for a more flexible, varied eater over time.

Everything else in picky eating work builds on this stability.

What do picky husbands and picky kids have in common? More than you'd think. In this episode, I'm sharing a little story from my own kitchen — how I spent years assuming my husband didn't like steak, never made it, and just… accepted it as fact. Turns out, I was wrong. And once I actually set a goal and committed to a slow, low-pressure approach, it didn't take long at all. In this episode you'll learn: Why assumptions are the enemy — and how skipping exposure keeps picky eating stuck The power of starting where your child is comfortable instead of where you want them to be How to modify gradually so new foods don't feel scary or forced Why no expectations + one meal at a time is the mindset that actually moves the needle What it looks like when kids (and husbands!) take ownership of trying something new If you've been avoiding a food because you think your kid hates it… this episode is your sign to try again. 🎧 Listen, share, and tag a parent who needs to hear this one!

If your child is:

You’ve probably heard: “It’s just a phase.”

But what if it’s not?

In today’s episode, we break down the difference between typical picky eating and when something deeper is going on—and why waiting it out can actually make things worse.