How To! with Charles Duhigg

In the last 24 years, Judy has moved approximately 16 times for her husband's military career. But her family has finally settled down in a lovely house with a yard near Annapolis, Maryland. Now Judy is hoping to transform her outdoor space into something that's beautiful and environmentally friendly. On this episode of How To!, Doug Tallamy explains why, now more than ever, we need people like Judy to plant native species in order to revive our ecosystem. He has some surprisingly easy tips for replacing your grass (take that, lawn mower!), finding plants that pollinators will love, and even getting rid of those pesky mosquitoes.

Resources:

Homegrown National Park

Nature's Best Hope: A New Approach to Conservation That Starts in Your Yard

Audubon Native Plants Database

National Wildlife Federation Native Plant Finder

SEEK by iNaturalist

The Life and Death of the American Lawn

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Squash Your Fear of Bugs (and Other Phobias)"

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Podcast production by Derek John and Rosemary Belson with help from Katie Shepherd.

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Elaine picked up watercolor painting during her two year, cross country RV adventure with her family. She quickly fell in love with gorgeous nature scenes and found the creative process meditative and healing. But now she's wondering if her art could be something more. On this episode of How To!, multitalented artist Aaron Dworkin has tips for Elaine and other aspiring artists on how to live a 'portfolio life' by finding your signature style, following your passions and ultimately getting paid. He also shares insights for unlocking your creativity even if you don't fancy yourself an artist.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Write the Perfect Breakup Song with Ben Folds."

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Last week, our expert Arthur Brooks gave us some surefire advice for resetting the parent-child relationship so your kids don't treat you like an emotional ATM. On this episode of How To!, he's going to teach our listener, Karen, how to balance the books, so to speak, by taking some withdrawals of her own. He has some surprising tips for how to restrain yourself from swooping in to save the day when it would be better to let them figure it out. Starting with a hilarious story of the time Arthur's adult son called him—pantsless—from Las Vegas.

If you liked this episode, check out part one: "How To Parent Less."

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Every time Karen gets a phone call from her adult children her heart sinks. Even at age 23 and 21, they're usually calling with a problem. She's received calls for everything from flat tires to mental health emergencies. While she loves her kids and wants to always be a safe place for them to land, she really wants them to gain more independence. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Arthur Brooks, a Harvard University professor who studies the science of happiness and writes a column for the Atlantic called How to Build a Life. He also is the father to three adult children. He has some surprising tips and tough love for Karen to help her rebalance her relationship with her kids.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Get Your Kid to Finally Grow Up" and "How To Fill an Empty Nest."

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For a lot of would-be parents, adoption isn't the first path that comes to mind. But that's how Victoria, a PhD student, is leaning right now. Even though she's not planning to have a family for a few more years, it's never too early to start preparing for what can be a long, arduous process. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Marcia Chatelain, Pulitzer Prize winning author, professor of history and African-American studies at Georgetown, and former co-host of The Waves. Marcia spent five years jumping through hoops before she and her husband finally adopted their son last year. Now Marcia is looking back on that journey and sharing what she learned to help Victoria smoothly navigate the process.

If you liked this episode, check out "The Single Most Important Thing to Know Before Becoming a Single Parent."

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In 2019, Brenda took a year off from their PhD program to try to feel pleasure again…with anything. Brenda has come a long way since then but there's one thing that's still elusive—they've never experienced an orgasm. Whenever they try, anxiety kicks in and they're left feeling frustrated and, in their words "broken." On this episode of How To!, we bring in Ev'Yan Whitney, sex educator, author, and host of the podcast Sensual Self. Ev'Yan has some wonderful wisdom for learning about your body and reconnecting with pleasure, both sexual and non-sexual, in a way that feels safe.

Additional Reading:

The Tyranny Of the Female-Orgasm Industrial Complex by Katharine Smyth

Ace by Angela Chen

Sensual Self by Ev'Yan Whitney

Understanding Asexuality by The Trevor Project

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Have the Best Sex of Your Life"

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Erin thinks her dog Chief has the most embarrassing habit—he keeps eating her daughters' underwear. This has happened several times, resulting in multiple costly surgeries. If she doesn't put a stop to it, it could eventually kill Chief. How can she get her dog to behave and, more importantly, get her teenage daughters to put their underwear in the hamper? On this episode of How To!, Jenny Slate, comedian, actress, author of Little Weirds and voice of Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, opens up about the time her dog ate something he shouldn't have—and let's just say it's worse than underwear. But Jenny adores dogs and believes they have something important to teach us. You have to accept your loved ones' limitations, Jenny says, and when problems arise, tailor your solution to what suits them best—advice that applies to both dogs and teenagers.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Confront a Crazy Neighbor with Tig Notaro."

Do you have a seemingly impossible problem? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Coming out of the worst of the pandemic, a lot of us need to relearn how to socialize, from what to say to what to wear. Our listener, Kristen, is headed back to the office and wants to feel like a boss. The only problem? She looks at her wardrobe and doesn't know where to begin. On this episode of How To!, we bring in celebrity stylist Leesa Evans to give her a crash course in clothing. Leesa has helped some famous clients (i.e. Amy Schumer) discover fashion that is both functional and flattering. The key? Finding pieces that make you feel confident.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Look Like a Superhero."

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We all know the country is deeply fractured right now, and that's especially true in our politics. There is vitriol, bitter partisanship and an expectation that in order to succeed you need to beat up on your opponent. So is it possible to fight for your beliefs, remain civil and still win elections? On this episode of How To!, we brought together two politicians from either side of the aisle who are living proof that we can practice politics with humanity. Utah Governor Spencer Cox and Vermont State Senator Becca Balint share how they resist negativity, meaningfully work with the other side, and stick to their values even when they are forced to stand up to their own party.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Get Things Done in a Divided Nation with Samantha Power"

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Karin always thought of herself as the mom of two boys—that is, until last year when her oldest child told her they were nonbinary, meaning they don't identify as either male or female. Karin loves her kid deeply, but she's struggling to get used to their new name and pronouns, especially because her town—and husband—aren't very accepting. On this episode of How To!, we bring in Lisa DelCol, a fellow mom of a nonbinary child and former president of PFLAG Oklahoma City, to help Karin come to terms with her child's gender identity. Parents are going to make mistakes along the way, Lisa says, but it's important to share what you learn with others. The more you advocate for them, the more accepting the world becomes.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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