How To! with Charles Duhigg

When Shellye Archambeau walked into her first meeting as a board member of Verizon, she felt a moment of panic. "Do I actually belong at this table?" she remembers thinking. Shellye, one of the first Black women to work as the CEO of a tech company in Silicon Valley, has struggled over the years with what's commonly known as "imposter syndrome"—the feeling that you are a phony, despite all evidence to the contrary. On this episode of How To!, Shellye, the author of Unapologetically Ambitious, gives advice to Hannah, a medical student who is struggling with the same feelings of self-doubt, particularly as she's about to treat patients for the first time. Can Shellye help Hannah tame her imposter syndrome so she can be an effective physician? "I can't tell people how to get over it," Shellye says. "But I can tell you how to deal with it."

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Be a Badass On and Off the Court."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

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We're all have to give a presentation at some point in our lives — on a stage, in a conference room, and, these days, on Zoom. So what makes a good speech? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Chris Anderson, the head of TED Talks and author of TED Talks: The Official TED Guide to Public Speaking. Chris gives us the inside scoop on the famous speaking series and breaks down some of the greatest speeches of all time. Then we present Chris with an unusual challenge from a 6th-grader named Lucy. She wrote in asking for help with a speech she is planning to give to her school board about improving her school. Can the head of TED help our 6th-grade listener with the biggest speech of her young life?

If you liked this episode, check out our episode featuring Guy Raz, the former host of TED Radio Hour: "How To Become Your Own Boss With Guy Raz."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Imagine you're floating in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a boat the size of an SUV. You have no working electronics, no food or water, and only a styrofoam box to shade you from the sun. Your only companion is a 22-year-old who has little seafaring experience. How would you survive? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Jonathan Franklin, author of 438 Days, to tell us the incredible story of José Salvador Alvarenga, a shark fisherman who survived at sea for over 14 months. Jonathan says that Alvarenga was a pro at being resourceful—surviving on bird meat, shark livers, and sea turtle blood—but the real key to his survival was mental. For much of his journey, Alvarenga took care of his younger companion, Jonathan says, and it was this caregiving motivation more than anything else that kept Alvarenga alive.

If you liked this episode, check out the first episode in our two-part series: "How To Survive in the Wild Part 1."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Have you ever wondered how you'd fare in the wild? What you'd do when facing off against a rattlesnake or staring down a polar bear? On this episode of How To!, the first in a two-part series, we dive into two extreme scenarios worthy of their own action movies. First, Kyle Dickman, author of On the Burning Edge and a former hotshot firefighter, opens up about the time he truly feared for his life—not when fighting wildfires, but when crossing paths with a rattlesnake on a family hike. Next, we'll bring on Jill Fredston, author of Snow Sense and Rowing to Latitude who has fought avalanches for decades only to realize the mountain doesn't care about our sense of self-confidence. Though their experiences may seem remote, they can teach all of us something about risk, luck, and how to coexist with nature.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Withstand Pain."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Laura's dad lived an unusual life. He raised 12 children on a farm without running water in the Texas countryside while also programming his own website that connected families, for free, with help when they were going through difficult times. Ever since he passed away this January, Laura has been searching for a way to tell his story, hoping to ultimately post what she writes about her father on Facebook. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Glenn Rifkin, author of Future Forward and veteran obituary writer at the New York Times, to help Laura craft the perfect remembrance. A good place for Laura to start, Glenn says, is to interview the many members of her family, acting as a reporter to gather as many stories about her dad as she can.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Say the Right Thing at the Worst Time."

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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For years, Stella helped raise twin girls whom she loved deeply. She potty trained them, read bedtime stories and made sure they ate their veggies. But then, one day with little warning, she was asked to leave them. Stella isn't a parent—she's a nanny. And though it's been years, she's still heartbroken over being let go from her old job, especially the way it ended. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Tasha Blaine, author of Becoming a Social Worker and Just Like Family. Tasha spent years interviewing nannies for Just Like Family and she's here to help Stella process her loss. When you're getting paid to raise someone else's kids, how do you navigate that messy work-life divide? And for couples, how can you establish a better, more professional relationship with this "third parent"? Listen in for the secrets of a real-life Mary Poppins.

If you liked this episode, check out our "Cheat Sheet" series on raising children in an unusual year.

Do you have a problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Andrew snores so badly that his cats won't sleep in the same room as him. He's desperate to sleep better at night, and breathe more easily during the day. As a trans man, Andrew spent most of his life training to be a soprano opera singer only to become a baritone when he transitioned in his early 20s. On this episode of How To!, we bring on James Nestor, author of Breath: The New Science of a Lost Art, to share the history of why we breathe the way we do. Turns out being a "mouth-breather" is more than just an insult, it's harmful to our health. James gives Andrew some nasal breathing exercises to improve his snoring, anxiety, and overall wellness.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Sleep."

Do you have a problem you can't get out of your head? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show. Subscribe for free on Apple, Spotify or wherever you listen.

Podcast production by Derek John, Rachael Allen, and Rosemary Belson.

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Emilia can't stop thinking about a long-ago love affair with Ivan, a man she met in Mexico in her early 20s and dated for several years. Now, a decade later, Emilia is newly married, but thoughts of her time with Ivan pop into her mind daily, a fact she's never shared with her husband. On this episode of How To!, we bring on Ethan Kross, a psychology professor at the University of Michigan and the author of Chatter: The Voice In Our Head, Why It Matters, and How To Harness It. Whether thinking about a past experience or worrying about the present, we all get stuck in negative cycles of thought, and Ethan has the tools to help us form a better relationship with our thoughts.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Fall Out of Love."

Do you have a problem you can't get out of your head? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Michael grew up terrified that the world was going to end. This wasn't your typical childhood anxiety, but something he was taught while being raised in the Children of God cult. Michael left the cult years ago, but now in his 30s he's struggling to heal the scars it left on his parents and 11 siblings. How do you go on living when the world doesn't actually come to an end? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Rebecca Stott, author of In the Days of Rain, a memoir about her childhood in a cult called the Exclusive Brethren. "Whenever I have an interview like this, I can feel the frog in my throat," Rebecca tells us. "It's like there's something still censoring me...in my own head." Rebecca knows what it's like to feel ashamed of her childhood, but she's also learned to find what was useful in her experience and apply it to her life today. She says Michael can do the same thing by opening himself up to his loved ones and in future relationships.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Forgive the Unforgivable."

Do you have an unusual problem that needs solving? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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Several months ago, Sarah told her best friend John she's in love with him—but he doesn't love her back. Now Sarah can't get John out of her head, especially because they still talk all the time. How can Sarah move on from John? On this episode of How To!, we bring on Helen Fisher, a biological anthropologist and the author of Anatomy of Love, to help Sarah train her heart—and her brain—to fall out of love. The first thing Sarah needs to do, Helen says, is cut off contact with John. Every time she sees him, it reactivates her brain circuitry for romantic love. And as beautiful as their friendship may be, it's holding Sarah back from finding her true love.

If you liked this episode, check out "How To Propose (to a Man)."

Do you have a problem in your love life? Send us a note at [email protected] or leave us a voicemail at 646-495-4001 and we might have you on the show.

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