Hello Hayes

"I Feel Like a Liar. Am I Marrying the Wrong Person?"

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(Watch this episode on YouTube.)

Today’s episode is all about the thrilling yet sometimes messy and confusing world of crushes. We’ve got three letters:

  • "I have a pattern of falling for people who are unavailable. Should I tell my new friend that I have a crush on her, even though she's in a longterm relationship?"
  • "I told my coworker I had feelings for him. I think he has feelings for me too but...he has a girlfriend."
  • "I'm engaged to my boyfriend of 7 years, but I have a relentless crush on someone new. Should I still get married?"


    • Send your letters to [email protected].


    0:00 What to expect in this video

    00:47 This week’s letters 

    1:22 Letter 1: “Can I be friends with my crush?”

    2:50 Response to Letter 1 begins 

    4:43 How we use B&W thinking to protect ourselves

    9:00 Failure is not regression 

    12:21 Script: “We can’t be friends” 

    13:02 Letter 2: “I’m in love with my co-worker”

    14:45 Response to Letter 2 begins

    15:55 What’s spiking my Hayesy senses 

    18:30 Stop hoping he’s going to change

     20:59 Finding the love you deserve

    21:31 Letter 3: “I’m not sure I want to marry my fiance” 

    22:43 Response begins 

    24:45 Pros of couple therapy 

    25:41 Hayes’s thoughts on “forever”

    27:25 “Relationships are hard”

    28:00 What your crush means

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    Hello HayesBy Alexandra Hayes Robinson
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