Content warning: Letter 2 includes a brief reference to SA, no details. It’s not the focus of the letter, but I do bring up the context of being a survivor. If this makes you uncomfortable, see the timestamps below to skip.
This week on Hello Hayes, Hayes answers three advice submissions about how to balance two people's physical needs in a romantic relationship, advocating for our needs and fantasies in bed, and whether it's okay to talk to your friends about your sex life. (PS: If you have any personal experiences to share about asexuality, polyamory, ethical non-monogamy, and/or open relationships, please tell us in the comments! This is a very nuanced conversation and I realize I'm just scratching a surface in the first letter. Would love to hear from all of you and keep the convo going.)
00:00 Introduction
00:36 Talking about sex
02:44 “What will make us satisfied?”
07:51 What is asexuality?
10:17 Compromise is necessary
13:49 Define intimacy as a couple
18:39 Ethical non-monogamy
26:45 “I want more adventurous $ex"
29:06 Speaking up for what you want
31:16 Unpacking expectations
33:57 Taking the lead & communicating
38:13 Contextualizing being a survivor
40:52 When to bring it up
43:21 “Can I talk to a friend about my relationship?”
44:31 Sharing experiences individually
49:18 Trust in a confidant
51:14 Proceed with caution
The Trevor Project is a great source of information and support for the LGBTQ+ community. Website here: https://www.thetrevorproject.org
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