Living what he considered a charmed life, Ivan Maisel was completely unprepared for the unexpected loss of his 21 year old son from suicide. The decisions he made in those first terrible hours, days, weeks, gave him a way forward as he struggled to learn how to live with the unimaginable. He and his family would be open about the loss. They would not hide the cause of his death. He and his family would not judge the way they each grieved. And they would stay together. These simple decisions pointed the way forward; not back to anywhere but carrying the loss within him and learning to live anyway. As time went on he came to view his grief as love. And this changed him, as he says, for the better.