I Love You, Too

“How do I flirt without being creepy?” If anxiety stops you from flirting (especially in the #metoo era), then this episode is for you. Jessica and Josh talk about why flirtation is essential in dating, how feminist principles can help you build passionate relationships, and what to do if you’re too shy to flirt.

Key Takeaways

00:00 - Intro

02:52 - What is flirting?

10:07 - Why is it important?

15:27 - Principles of feminist flirting

17:55 - What does feminist flirting look like? What does it mean to flirt like a feminist?

25:36 - How do you flirt without being creepy?

32:36 - What if you feel too shy to flirt?

Resources and links

For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

The Five Flirting Styles by Jeffrey Hall

Mama Gena, author and feminist icon

Episode 2: What to look for in a long term partner

Research on flirting. Keep in mind this is a mishmash of various strategies that vary in effectiveness depending on your gender, goal (e.g. short-term vs long-term), and cultural context.

• Perceived Effectiveness of Flirtation Tactics: The Effects of sex, Mating Context and Individual Differences in US and Norwegian Samples
• It Doesn’t Hurt to Ask: Question-Asking Increases Liking
• The effect of a woman's incidental tactile contact on men's later behavior
• Looking and loving: The effects of mutual gaze on feelings of romantic love
• Courtship Communication and Perception
• Science Says These 8 Flirting Techniques Are The Most Successful

Episode 1: You aren’t crazy, dating is hard (especially for anxious folx)

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Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

What makes a good long-term partner, according to science? And why is it important to be mindful when we are choosing who to settle down with? In this episode, we dig into the research about what to look for and — equally important — what not to look for in a long-term partner. Plus, how do you clarify what you need in a partner? How can you differentiate between dealbreakers and “nice-to-haves” so that you can more effectively date?

Key Takeaways

00:00:00 - Intro and episode overview

00:02:24 - Why be mindful of who we choose as a long-term partner?

00:06:02 - What science says about what makes a good long-term partner

00:25:07 - What doesn’t make someone a good partner, according to research

00:50:57 - How to clarify what you need in a partner

01:04:28 - How to clarify what you want vs. what you need

Resources Mentioned

For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

Downloadable Guide: What to look for in a long-term partner (includes the Relationship Inventory and the Ideal Mate Exercise)

Warren Buffett says the most important decision you’ll ever make has nothing to do with your money or career

Study from Tel Aviv: Dissatisfaction with Married Life in Men Is Related to Increased Stroke and All-Cause Mortality

Harvard Study of Adult Development

Plays Well with Others: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Relationships Is (Mostly) Wrong, By Eric Barker

The Gottman Institute

How to Not Die Alone, by Logan Ury

Deeper Dating, by Ken Page

People Are Dating All Wrong, According to Data Science

Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even a short review helps other people find the show!

Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

It’s no secret that dating is hard. But why? If you’re stuck repeating the same patterns in dating such as attracting unavailable partners or struggling to be yourself in dating, we’re here to say - you’re not alone! In this episode, we’ll break down three of the most common reasons dating is hard and provide concrete tools to help you date with a little more ease and joy.

Key takeaways

00:00 - Intro and episode overview

01:51 - Why dating’s hard (#1): Insecure attachment styles

12:22 - Why dating’s hard (#2): Unresolved trauma

20:26 - Why dating’s hard (#3): Dating anxiety

24:45 - A three-step process for making dating easier

Resources

For full show notes with links, visit relationshipcenter.com/podcast

Diane Poole Heller’s Attachment Styles Test

Polyvagal theory chart of trauma response

Like this show? Please leave us a review here - even a short review helps other people find the show!

Looking for some help finding your person? Visit relationshipcenter.com

Research indicates that relationships are the key to living a happy, long life. But healthy relationships aren’t always easy to build, particularly if you’re shy, anxious, or still reeling from past hurts. Join psychotherapist, couples counselor, and dating coach, Jessica Engle, and professional certified coach, Josh Van Vliet, on “I Love You, Too,” a show all about how to build and sustain meaningful relationships. Josh and Jessica, a real-life couple, will share evidence-based yet heart-filled techniques to help you find love, friendship, and the community you crave.