Caregiving can impact our friendships in a variety of ways. Some friends disappear. Others stick around, but disappoint. Others we find and connect with because of our caregiving role. Listen in as Allison and Justin dig into these different types of relationships.

One of the few things we can count on in this life is death and yet our culture is not good at talking about or preparing us for it. In this episode, Justin and Allison speak with Jane Whitlock, an end of life doula and former spousal caregiver, about her role, the stages of death, and the questions we can start asking and conversations we can start having now about this important and inevitable topic.

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Jane Whitlock - Website What I Learned About Life from Death | Jane Whitlock | TEDxMinneapolis  Gone From My Sight: The Dying Experience - Barbara Karnes Being With Dying - Joan Halifax Minnesota Death Collaborative GoWish Cards Advice to Future Corpses (and Those Who Love Them) - Sallie Tisdale A Beginner's Guide to the End - BJ Miller National End of Life Doula Alliance

There’s no question that the life of a caregiver is hard and that feelings of disappointment, comparison, and unfairness can be pervasive. So how do caregivers move through their days as they deal with the weight of it all? In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about how to keep going even when everything is terrible.

When someone in our life has an acute injury or medical situation, it makes sense for us to focus solely on their needs. But when an illness becomes longer-lasting or chronic, caregivers need to find ways to balance the needs of their loved ones with their own. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about why that can be challenging, ways that can look, and what might happen if we don’t.

In January, Allison was with her mother-in-law through her final days on earth. In this episode, she talks about what that was like and shares how the experience of being present during the days of hospice and in the moment of her death has changed her perspective as a caregiver.

Aisha Adkins, who cares for both her parents, joins Allison and Justin to talk about her caregiving journey, as well as her work with Caring Across Generations supporting other caregivers.

aishaadkins.com

Caring Across Generations

There are many reasons people may hesitate to claim or use the caregiver title. In this episode, Justin and Allison dig into why that may be as well as talk about the benefits and challenges of doing so.

Some caregiving roles are brief, but many, like the ones Justin and Allison are in, end up being long-term. In this episode, they talk about what part acceptance plays in being a caregiver. They discuss questions such as: At what point do we need to accept that our lives are forever changed? What is the benefit of acceptance? How can supporters help a caregiver who is working through the process of acceptance?

Caregivers experience multiple kinds of grief on a regular day, but at the holidays these feelings can be exacerbated. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss the various forms of grief that may emerge this time of year, what caregivers can do to get through this season, and how supporters can help.

Caregivers often say that they aren’t seen. But what would it look like to be seen? What is it that they wish for? In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about times and ways that they have felt either unseen or seen in their caregiving roles and the implications of each. In addition, they provide a number of simple strategies that supporters can use to show intentional care for the caregivers in their lives.