In Sickness

When we become caregivers, any illusion we had of being in control in our lives can be lost. We are often unable to control disease progression, our loved one's pain, and broken systems, just to name a few. This lack of control can make some people cling more tightly to what they have left and can make others let go altogether. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about how they have experienced this lack of control and how supporters can help.

Treatment side effects, exhaustion, and role changes are just a few of the many reasons that a couple may struggle with or shy away from physical intimacy when dealing with a recovery from a serious illness. In this episode, Allison speaks with marriage and family therapist from Memorial Sloan Kettering, Dr. Talia Zaider, about how common this is and what couples can do when it does.

Medical appointments are often a huge component of a caregiver's life, the impact spanning far beyond the time spent with the provider. In this episode, Justin and Allison discuss all that goes into preparing for, living through, and recovering from appointments from a caregiver perspective.

Susan Silk created "The Ring Theory" as a way to guide people who are supporting someone in a crisis. In this episode, Allison and Justin discuss how this model of "Comfort In, Dump Out" applies to caregiving.

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Ring Theory: How not to say the wrong thing

As caregivers, we have a front row seat to the suffering of our loved ones. We are often the only people who see them in their hardest moments. In this episode, Justin and Allison talk about what that's like, the impact it has on them, and how supporters can help.

When our loved one's days are numbered or their good days are few and far between, we can feel like we need to complete bucket lists or that we must make the most of every moment. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how that pressure shows up in their lives and what they do about it.

Caregivers, like any of us, can fall into the trap of comparing themselves to others. Whether it's comparing the severity, length, or type of caregiving they are doing with someone else, comparing their own struggles with that of the person for whom they are caring, or comparing their lives to their non-caregiving peers, these thoughts can creep in and keep caregivers from sharing their stories and getting support. Listen in as Allison and Justin talk about the variety of ways comparison can show up and how supporters can help.

Each of us is wired differently and that wiring can lead us to choose our careers, our partners, our hobbies. But caregiving is a role into which we are thrust, so how do our personality traits help or hinder our caregiving lives? In this episode, Allison and Justin interview certified Enneagram Coach Jenna Law to learn more.

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https://www.enneagraminstitute.com/

https://www.everydayenneagram.me/

Caregivers are often told they are "saints" or that people can't imagine how they do what they do. While well-meaning, language like this can have a variety of negative effects. In this episode, Allison and Justin talk about how phrases like this land and what supporters can say instead.

There are things that we may grieve even before they happen. The death of a loved one is one such event, but it's certainly not the only. In this episode, Justin and Allison discuss the role this type of grief plays in their lives and how supporters can help.