Inside Bipolar

As the holiday season begins, we start feeling the pull to enjoy every treat, party, and late night that November and December has to offer. But for those managing bipolar disorder, the holiday frenzy can lead to more than just leftover fruitcake in January.

Join Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington as they dive into the chaotic holiday whirlpool and explain how its demands can quickly become a recipe for relapse. They discuss why indulging in a little holiday cheer might feel innocent, but can lead to unwelcome surprises like depression, disrupted routines, and, in more serious cases, a bipolar episode.

With humor, honesty, and practical advice, Gabe and Dr. Nicole help you navigate this festive season mindfully so that come January, you’ll feel recharged instead of regretful. If you want to enter the new year feeling strong, this is the episode for you.

“One of the things I think that trips up a lot of people is we tend to save our splurges for special occasions. But during the holidays, I mean, from Halloween to New Year's, it feels like every day is a special occasion because it's the holiday season. So, but really, I mean, you can't have 65 days of special occasions. I mean, you just can't. Or else your body will be angry at you.” ~Dr. Nicole Washington, Host

This episode is sponsored, in part, by Cornbread Hemp. They produced the first-ever USDA-certified organic CBD gummies in America. Save 30% on your first order using code "Inside30."

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Navigating marriage is hard enough — but when bipolar disorder is in the mix, things can get even more complicated. In this episode, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington, a board certified psychiatrist, dive into the complexities of marriage when one partner lives with bipolar disorder.

Gabe shares candid stories from his two divorces and the challenges of untreated bipolar, while Dr. Nicole lends her expert insights on how unmanaged moods affect relationships. They explore why marital conflicts are often misattributed to mental illness and remind listeners that, sometimes, marriage itself is just tough.

If you've ever wondered how bipolar disorder impacts a long-term relationship — or if you're looking for an honest discussion about love, trust, and coping with life's ups and downs — this episode offers a refreshingly real take on what it means to build a resilient partnership despite what complications bipolar disorder may bring.

“We've already talked about how hard marriage is in general. Why add to it by not doing the things that you know are your responsibility? This is your responsibility in your marriage, is managing your symptoms, managing your illness. Just like every other responsibility that you have just by being married.” ~Dr. Nicole Washington, host

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

This episode is sponsored, in part, by Cornbread Hemp. They produced the first-ever USDA-certified organic CBD gummies in America. Save 30% on your first order using code "Inside30."

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Dive into the intricate dance between self-sabotage and bipolar disorder in this eye-opening episode. Join Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar, and Dr. Nicole Washington as they explore the often unrecognized ways that bipolar symptoms can lead to unconscious self-sabotaging behaviors.

Discover how to identify patterns of self-sabotage and why understanding the "why" behind your actions is crucial for growth. If you’ve ever felt trapped by your own choices or wondered how to break free from destructive cycles, this episode offers valuable insights and actionable steps to reclaim control over your life. Don’t miss out on this essential conversation that blends lived experience with expert advice—tune in and start your journey toward healing today.

"I think a lot of people are more aware of self-sabotage than they think. So when we talk about combating it, if people say to you, you're always self-destructing, you're always blowing up your spot, you're always causing yourself issues. You're your own worst enemy. You need to get out of your own way. These are all other ways to describe you’re self-sabotaging.” ~Gabe Howard, Host

This episode is sponsored, in part, by Cornbread Hemp. They produced the first-ever USDA-certified organic CBD gummies in America. Save 30% on your first order using code "Inside30."

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Can the changing seasons impact bipolar disorder, much like they do with seasonal depression? In this episode, Gabe Howard and Dr. Nicole Washington tackle the intriguing question of whether bipolar disorder can have seasonal patterns.

Drawing on the latest research, they explore how seasonal changes affect mood, not just in terms of depression but also mania and hypomania. Dr. Nicole sheds light on the DSM-5's reclassification of seasonal affective disorder and how it now ties into major depressive disorder—and how that relates to bipolar disorder.

From the science behind circadian rhythms to practical tips for managing seasonal mood shifts, including the potential risks of light therapy, this conversation will challenge what you think you know about bipolar disorder and the changing seasons. Tune in to stay updated and discover how understanding seasonal patterns can help make your condition more manageable.

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

This episode is sponsored, in part, by Cornbread Hemp. They produced the first-ever USDA-certified organic CBD gummies in America. Save 30% on your first order using code "Inside30."

“Ads for light boxes pop up, and people are going to say, this is amazing. This is a fantastic idea. I'm just going to go with this light box. There is data to support that it helps with depression during this time of year, and all those things are great. It can be wonderful. It can help seasonal depression, but you have to be careful if you have bipolar disorder using a light box. Because it can spark a little hypomania or mania for some people. So you just have to be careful. Make sure everybody involved knows what the potential risks are before you jump into something like that.” ~Dr. Nicole Washington

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author. To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Shame, guilt, and self-stigma. Our host, Gabe Howard, may openly talk about living with bipolar disorder, but that doesn't mean he doesn’t feel shame and guilt. In this episode, Gabe and Dr. Nicole Washington dive deep into the lingering guilt many feel after a bipolar diagnosis.

Why do feelings of self-stigma persist, even after years into recovery? From internalized discrimination to societal misunderstandings, Gabe shares how he grappled with his diagnosis and the emotional baggage that followed. Learn how to confront these feelings and, more importantly, find the path to internalizing stability and success. Whether you have a new diagnosis or have lived with bipolar disorder for years, this episode will resonate with anyone seeking to break free from shame and embrace their journey.

Tune in for an honest, no-holds-barred conversation on the real struggles and triumphs behind living with bipolar disorder.

“When we think, I live with bipolar disorder and I'm not smart, I'm garbage, and I'll never achieve, we say it to ourselves. We internalize these messages. So I think that we take the stigma from society, which is like a fire, and then we dump gas on it and then let it burn out of control. And we wonder why it's turning out poorly for us? I think a huge protective factor against guilt and shame is to openly discuss it.” ~Gabe Howard

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Can mania and depression really coexist? In this episode, our hosts unravel the complexities of bipolar mixed episodes — where mania and depression collide in the same mind, often creating a personal hell for those experiencing it.

Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar disorder, and Dr. Nicole Washington dive into the complexities of mixed episodes, highlighting that they’re far more than just mood changes. Bipolar mood episodes combine dangerous elements like high energy, impulsivity, and intense hopelessness.

They use vivid analogies, comparing it to mixing vodka and Red Bull — a chaotic blend where alcohol and caffeine each trigger distinct sensations but together create an entirely unpredictable and overwhelming effect. This can help listeners visualize the volatile nature of mixed episodes and why they are so challenging to manage.

Discover why mixed episodes carry a higher risk of suicide and why recognizing them matters. Tune in to learn how this evolving knowledge can lead to better diagnoses, treatment, and ultimately, better outcomes for those living with bipolar disorder.

“When someone is sitting in front of me and I'm trying to figure out, what is this? Is this mania? Is this a mixed episode? And I'll be completely honest with you, a lot of times, mixed episodes don't even come to the forefront of my mind. It's not something I usually say, oh, let me screen for whether this is a manic episode or a mixed episode. In all the chaos of the mania, sometimes the depression parts can get missed.” ~Dr. Nicole Washington 

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

This episode delves into the often-overlooked aftermath of living with bipolar disorder, even after achieving stability. Gabe, who lives with bipolar, shares his personal experiences of lingering fears, the trauma of past depressive episodes, and the constant self-monitoring that comes with managing his illness.

Dr. Nicole explores the delicate balance between responsibility and self-compassion, and how trauma, even if not officially recognized as such, can profoundly alter one’s life. They discuss the concept of post-traumatic growth, the importance of individualized coping strategies, and how to navigate the thin line between symptom and emotion.

This episode offers hope and practical advice for those grappling with the long-term mental fallout of living with bipolar disorder.

“Many people with bipolar disorder are not worried about mania coming back because we've romanticized it and we remember it so fondly. But many of us with bipolar disorder are terrified of depression coming back because we're afraid of it. The reality is, I never worry about winning the lottery, because if it happens, I'm just going to be so happy. But I do worry about running out of money. So, I'm not worried about a sudden influx of cash, but I'm terrified of not having enough cash.”  ~Gabe Howard

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Trying to achieve that perfect work-life balance? You’re not alone, and it might be doing more harm than good—especially if you’re managing bipolar disorder. In this episode, Gabe Howard, who lives with bipolar, and Dr. Nicole Washington debunk the myth of work-life balance, revealing how this ideal can fuel feelings of inadequacy and guilt for those living with bipolar disorder.

Instead of chasing an impossible standard, learn about work-life integration and how to create a more compassionate, flexible approach to managing your daily life. If you’re tired of feeling like you’re constantly falling short in life’s balancing act, this episode will help you rethink what that balance looks like and find a more sustainable way to navigate your journey with bipolar disorder.

“I want to say, to hell with those people. Those people do not understand us. They do not understand what we go through, and they don't understand that the way that we need to recharge is built for our life, our life managing bipolar disorder.” ~Gabe Howard, Host

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Today we discuss how to navigate friendships, avoid echo chambers, and integrate professional advice into your bipolar support system. Learn why having a range of perspectives is essential for your mental health journey and how to effectively manage relationships without falling into codependency.

We explore the intricate balance of maintaining friendships while managing bipolar disorder. Gabe, who lives with bipolar, shares his personal challenges with relying solely on friends with bipolar disorder for support and highlights the need for a diverse support team. This episode is a must listen for anyone looking to understand the role of friends in a bipolar support network and how to foster healthy, supportive connections.

“You know, there are encounters I enter where being a woman is a very big part of that encounter, and I can connect with someone on that. There are times when things shift, and I'm more likely to connect with someone who is of the same race or ethnicity. It just depends on the situation. People with bipolar disorder are no different. They're no different when it comes to that.” ~Dr. Nicole Washington

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our Host, Gabe Howard, is an award-winning writer and speaker who lives with bipolar disorder. He is the author of the popular book, "Mental Illness is an Asshole and other Observations," available from Amazon; signed copies are also available directly from the author.

To learn more about Gabe, or book him for your next event, please visit his website, gabehoward.com. You can also follow him on Instagram and TikTok at @askabipolar.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.

Today we delve into the complex relationship between menstrual cycles, hormonal fluctuations, and bipolar disorder. Join Dr. Nicole Washington and Natasha Tracy, who lives with bipolar disorder, as they explore how periods and other “women’s health” issues can impact mood stability and what menstruating people with bipolar disorder should know about managing their symptoms.

Learn about the importance of tracking mood changes, the role of birth control in symptom management, and why open communication between gynecologists and psychiatrists is crucial. Whether you’re personally affected or simply curious, this episode sheds light on an often under-discussed aspect of reaching recovery with bipolar disorder.

“For women, it's so hard to know what to say in that situation because of the lack of data, and hopefully you're able to twig in your own mind, OK, maybe that's happening. Maybe that's a conversation I need to have. Don't wait for your doctor to bring it up. Maybe they will, maybe they won't. But don't wait, because your life can be improved by bringing up that conversation today. So, there's no reason not to do that.” ~Natasha Tracy

To learn more -- or read the transcript -- please visit the official episode page.

Our guest co-host, Natasha Tracy, is an award-winning writer, speaker, and social media consultant from the Pacific Northwest. She works to bring high-quality, insightful, and trusted information on bipolar disorder and related illnesses to the public while engaging with the mental health community.

Natasha is a mental health thought leader and subject matter expert in bipolar disorder. Her thoughts on it have been sought by the media and academics. Her Bipolar Burble has been named a top 10 health blog by Healthista, Health.com, Healthline, Medical News Today, and others.

For a complete list of Natasha’s awards, see here. You can also see here for Natasha in the Media.

In 2016, Natasha published her first book, the acclaimed Lost Marbles: Insights into My Life with Depression & Bipolar. Buy Lost Marbles on Amazon. Read more about Lost Marbles here.

Our host, Dr. Nicole Washington, is a native of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, where she attended Southern University and A&M College. After receiving her BS degree, she moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma to enroll in the Oklahoma State University College of Osteopathic Medicine. She completed a residency in psychiatry at the University of Oklahoma in Tulsa. Since completing her residency training, Washington has spent most of her career caring for and being an advocate for those who are not typically consumers of mental health services, namely underserved communities, those with severe mental health conditions, and high performing professionals. Through her private practice, podcast, speaking, and writing, she seeks to provide education to decrease the stigma associated with psychiatric conditions. Find out more at DrNicolePsych.com.