Addison Bevere is the COO of the non-profit Messenger International and co-founder of Sons and Daughters TV. He also recently became a published author— he just wrote Saints: Becoming More Than “Christians.” We talked for SO long and about so many things that I decided to share this episode in two parts, so you’ll be getting a special bonus episode this week! In this episode, we talk all about love, dating, and relationships. He shares the story of how he got married young and had children right away, plus he gives practical tips to know if you’ve found the one.

 

“There’s joy and meaning and opportunity to be found in every season.”

 

How to Practice Vulnerability in Dating

1. Clarity

o   “Clarity is a relationship’s best friend in every stage.”

1. Remove the Pressure

o   Release the first date pressure of “Are they the one?” Instead, ask yourself “Did I enjoy my time?” and “Do I want to spend more time with them?”

1. Chill out!

o   “We’re trying to answer questions we shouldn’t even be asking yet.”

 

Dating Real talk from a Dude:

• Addison shares that for the most part, men can be oblivious to when girls are flirting and sometimes they’re just terrified of making a move.
• “Wisdom transcends nuance, so when we seek to have a heart of wisdom, then we realize that God doesn’t deal in transactions, He deals in relationships.”
• If you find yourself concerned about their spiritual journey, think more about if you’re on the same path rather than if you’re at the same point on the journey.

 

“God is the only one who gets to exist in the past, the present and the future. We get to live in the present.”

 

3 Ways to Know if They’re ‘The One’

1. Peace
   • Philippians 4: It’s a peace that transcends all understanding.
   • Colossians 3:14-15: Peace is like an umpire.

• • I share a personal story of a time I almost got engaged and how I look back on that time and recognize I did not have peace in that relationship.

1. Sacrifice
   • It’s important to ask yourself “Am I willing to lay down my life, in the context of marriage, for the rest of my life for this person?” 

• • People frequently think about their relationship by evaluating the other person.
  • We all evolve in different seasons of life. We will always be navigating new strengths and weaknesses.

1. Growth
   • Does being with this person acknoweldge and encourage who you are today while inspiring you to be more? Both have to be true. 

• • “Open your eyes to the you that Christ sees.”

 

Resources

• Keep up with Addison’s work at SonsAndDaughters.tv as well as MessengerInternational.org and AddisonBevere.com.
• Follow Addison on Instagram at @addisonbevere.
• You can buy Addison’s book, Saints: Becoming More Than “Christians,” here.
• You can buy Lisa Bevere’s book Lioness Arising, here.
• Check out Addison’s IGTV “Why God Won’t Give You Clarity” here.
• Get access to the conference Addison and I both spoke at here.

 

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I am so grateful for my friend Stephanie May Wilson and he her heart to create content to help me walk into a place of God’s presence with trust. She has a new journal called The Between Places: 100 Days to Trusting God When You Don’t Know What’s Next. It’s a prayer journal for seasons of waiting, uncertainty, transitions, and making big decisions. You can pick up your journal at smaywilsonshop.com and use code REFINED for 15% off!

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