Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually Takes

Is Individualism Costing Us More Than We Realize?


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Individualism is woven so deeply into the fabric of American culture that sometimes we don’t even notice it. But what if this cornerstone of our culture is costing us more than we realize?

Today’s guest is James F. Richardson, a cultural anthropologist who spent two decades studying American society – which included living a more communal life in South India for three years. His new book, Our Worst Strength, challenges our approach to individualism as a way of life.

I read the book, and it was interesting to notice what came up. Most eye-opening was realizing how deeply ingrained the individualism mindset is. I simultaneously didn’t like what I was reading about individualism and didn’t want to change anything about it.

Was this eye-opening for you too? Be sure to read James’s book and check out his substack. If you’re like me, thinking about what a number individualism has done on our lives, remember we can’t change this overnight. It takes small shifts over time to make big change.


In this episode you’ll hear about:

  • How American society often values personal autonomy and freedom at the expense of responsibility and obligation
  • Things that have affected communal interactions in America, from societal norms that prioritize achievement to the rise of modern media and entertainment
  • Having meaningful conversations and sharing skills with friends instead of using friendship as a source of entertainment
  • The need for community members to observe and inquire about the emotional well-being of others 
  • Getting comfortable with bringing together people who are in different phases of life; plus, why I hate the “200 hours to make a friend” stat


Resources & Links:

Like what you hear? Visit my website, leave me a voicemail, and follow me on Instagram and TikTok!

Want to take this conversation a step further? Send this episode to a friend. Tell them you found it interesting and use what we just talked about as a conversation starter the next time you and your friend hang out!


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Friendship IRL: Real Talk About Friendship, Community, and What It Actually TakesBy Alex Alexander

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