It Isn’t Just About Romance

Since Valentine's Day is passed and the hearts have come down in the stores (except in the clearance area), we can face a reality that confuses many people.

“Our marriage is broken,” she told me.  “We don’t have the passion anymore, so I don’t think we should stay married.”

Missing passion… is it the end of marriage, or something else?

Most relationships are sparked by infatuation.  Call it passion or romance, but the desire to be with that person, that overwhelming attraction, is a building-block for a long-term relationship — including marriage.  It is, though, not the goal.

For most, that part of a relationship is a stage.  It naturally cools over time.  This is just the nature of an attraction.  It tempers over time.  Which means that we can get back to the rest of life — the parts of life that get disregarded in the heat of passion.

Does that mean you must just let romance and passion fall by the wayside?  Not at all.  You just can’t count on it as the focus.

Unfortunately, people often judge a marriage dead because the passion is missing. Also unfortunately, they haven’t nurtured the passion and romance.  The fact that it disappeared is more a reflection of the damaged connection than a sign the marriage was not meant to be, or has irretrievably failed.

I discuss the Passion Paradox in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.  Listen below.

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Love Is Not Effortless

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Save The Marriage System