JackaLackaBuff

http://archive.org/download/JLB41/JLB41.mp3

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http://archive.org/download/JLB40/JLB40.mp3

In this episode we kick it off with some back and forth riff raff about our new play, “Sissy Hymen” as well as the person Jill met IRL before going into witness protection. We then jump right into one of our main hot topics, Things That Dangle. We hear from Demon Trucker as well as a story about Jill trying to be taught the word “pandering” even though we spent an entire episode on it already, she knows what it means folks. We then go into our second half of the hot topics on what is a good stocking stuffer as well as some Christmas shopping tips. Jill then regales us with a tale on how she straight up trampled a small child before we come to a close with some Champion Diet tips. Oh, Josh also out fractions Jill and the audience at home.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB39/JLB39.mp3

In this script, I’m just going to get to the down and dirty details because that’s what a “Jive Turkey” would do. Welcome to Turkey Tuesday, the not so normal but very informative podcast about a global event that will most likely turn into some kind of war like catastrophe. Before we inform you hard, so hard, Jill gives us a disclaimer and then proceeds to talk about how Australians are all the rage this year in case you didn’t know. We then get into our main topic about Turkeys in Turkey and the step by step plans that involve plots, penguins, banking, accounting, and carnosaur chickens. Even though we were only there on a photography mission for National Geographic, we were able to decode their secret language and listen in to hear all about their diabolical plot and the horrors to come. But again, we would like to iterate that this is for informational purposes only as it is not our job to come up with a plan of action, we just heard this shit and was like, woah. Anyway, hope you enjoy this dire news and shout out to all our Indonesian fans out there!

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB38/JLB38.mp3

Hello out there to all you Lumberjacks and Lumberjackies! Welcome to the only podcast recognized by the National Lumberjack Association and beavers as our protectors you are going to chew some sweet maple wood enjoying this one. Before we chop in with our topics, Jill regales us with a story of her youth, something about diners and coffee socks. Also, Josh gives us a little more detail about science and the south, which means there wasn’t any unless it came from the good word. We eventually get to our disclaimer and all we got to say about that is fuck your baby dills because we ain’t havin’ that shit here. We then get into our Hot Topics about problems and common misconceptions in the lumberjack community like brawny man, brown bear don’t care, and fitting into small spaces because of our epic chopping wood muscles. We then jib jab back and forth about the growing concern of bears and how their technological advancement has far exceeded that of the simple lumberjack; even the beavers can’t keep up! We then give some great lumberjack fashion advice like plaid, plaid, and more plaid! Closing out the episode is our champion diet for lumberjacks which includes wood chips, whale blubber, and so much more!

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB37/JLB37.mp3

In this “fight of the century” episode, we suck you into the wonderful world of pickles! We spear things off with a rousing quote from the pickle king himself (and masturbatory revolutionary), George Washington! We then chip in a few jabs about our innovating pickle product ideas before Jill gives a rundown of people on her “insult of the day” list. Although Vince Vaughn may be a whopping cuntbag he can appreciate a good fight and that is what we bring you in our main event and Hot Topics, pickle spears vs pickle chips! The people have spoken and this is the one of the most serious issues that is plaguing our society at this very moment. Hell, even wars have been started over battles like this, just look at the Great Pickle War of 1860, also known to layman’s as the Civil War. What side are you on? Hrm? Anyway, we close out the show with a very exciting Noel update that will make the moon jealous! This very episode could rip the fabric of time and space and pickles, so go and listen to it now and remember, if you need breast implants go with organic pickle juice.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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In this delirium fueled episode we discuss many random topics starting with our recent poddy survey. That’s right folks, thirty countries have put in their vote for our best episode to date and you’ll have to tune in to find out which was #1. After a few jib jabs we talk about Movember, men’s health, and what it is really all about besides growing wicked awesome facial hair. We finally get to our “Hot Topics” about the cool new phrase/word/acronym that Jill created known as YOLO. We talk about the various meanings of YOLO before burning it out completely. In the midst of our discussion we shed some light on one of the most dangerous gangs in eastern NC and the real meaning behind “circle gets the square”. We close out with some more zany banter so be careful out there folks and don’t be a square.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB35/JLB35.mp3

Get your daily dose of your triple P’s along with another scary spooky chapter of Jackalackabuff! Right here, right now!

In this suspenseful episode we get trapped in a museum with a real life mummy, when a normal museum lock-in goes awry and we are the only ones left to survive the night! Oh, and Hobo Jim. Before jumping in with our Hot Topics we first give you some sweet tips on how to compliment women, starting with their lady parts. We then speak with the only other person trapped in here with us, Hobo Jim, who crawled in through the air ducts to use the bathroom. As resourceful as he may be, Jill insists on making a citizen’s arrest after his rousing speech on morality and reading her palm. After ducking behind a couple of trash cans to further dodge mummy interaction, Josh regales us with a tale about bear attacks, mountains, and a lost pirate. We drop a couple beats of our upcoming hit single “Mummy Walk” and then provide you some insightful research about how male mummies sound like Morgan Freeman and female mummies be all nasally like. At some point we address our Hot Topics which is pretty much just tips and tricks on how to survive a mummy attack while trapped in a museum. All in all, I’d give this episode a 10 but Jill’s former lover, Frederick Fernando Fernandez, gives it chocolate cake.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB34/JLB34.mp3

Hey, you, big nose listener, you ready? We have gone to the dark side and became Vampires for your amusement! Due to the initial impediments of oul speech (which is typically expelienced after becoming a Vampile) you may find this episode difficult to listen too, no? Ok, in this installment of JackaLackaBuff we “tingle youl eals” with some lofty quotes from the Vampile world and from famous vamps (not to be confused with tramps) like Jamie Kennedy and Meat Loaf. We then plunge right into a discussion about the many diffelent things that Vampire’s do like fly and shit. Speaking of shit, we don’t do much of that anymore since being turned to this gloomy lifestyle, but we do have a regular meetup! Moving on, we discuss the Hidden Valley (where vamps live) and the exciting music that is the soundtrack to Jill’s dull life, “The Monster Mash”. We close out the episode with some common myths that you may hear about us, I promise they’re not all bad.

Poppas and ranch blood is where it’s at so don’t go believing what that bitch Everly is telling you.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB33/JLB33.mp3

In this spooky scary episode we get a little bit wild because we are broadcasting live from the basement of local kidnapping legend, G-Squeak! He is a special type of clown man thing who has the memory of a stupid horse, but is also a mastermind in the art of “Napping and Murdering”. While trapped in our cages, we start things off with some manic ramblings and then provide you with some unexpected parenting advice from old, alcoholic, Eastern European women. This segues perfectly into another delirious conspiracy rant from Josh about smoking and the correlating facts behind obesity rates in America. Then we give you some tips with our hot topics of the day on the varying methods of escaping from those who have kidnapped you. If that doesn’t tickle your butt hole then how about some dolphin safe tuna or flipper hands or maybe a sweet air guitar rendition of “Free Bird”? This episode has it all and before we completely pass out we end it on a high note with……that’s right you guessed it, fashion update for napped victims! We’ll be ordering a pizza here soon so make sure to come over for a wicked good cage party.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

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http://archive.org/download/JLB32/JLB32.mp3

In this tantalizing episode that harkens back to a simpler time, where men were men and women were men and men were confused but still had big ol ding dongs. We roll things back and pay homage to our news radio heritage to bring you a breaking news bulletin that you have to hear it to believe it folks. We then take you on a trip around the world with our international news casters that are reporting live from places like Russia and the internet. Then one of our most famous advertisers makes a live in studio appearance to tell us about one of his new products, the mouth product expert himself, Chinese Sean Connery. We get a letter from little Timmy with some wild and crazy mad libs that will tingle your ears clean off. We then close out our show with a fabulous Noel Fielding update that’ll make ya want to keep tabs on him too! Don’t be a square and take listen to this kind of exciting episode.

Don’t forget you can also give us a call and leave a voice mail and we’ll play it on the next episode! Call us at 813-551-ANUS. That’s 813-551-2687!

Download It! | ITunes | Facebook | Twitter | Subscribe | Google+ | Email Us!