In today’s Dear DSO episode, I read a letter from a guy I’ll call John. He’s reached the end of his rope. His wife drinks heavily, refuses therapy, hasn’t been intimate with him in years, and contributes nothing to the family or household. Meanwhile, John’s doing it all — cooking, cleaning, parenting, working full-time — and he’s still trying to “make it work.”

If you’ve ever found yourself trapped in a relationship like this, wondering what’s wrong with you for staying… this one’s going to hit home. I talk about why so many men hang on to something that’s clearly dead, the psychological trap that keeps them stuck, and why the real work isn’t about fixing her — it’s about fixing yourself.

I also share what I told John privately about the importance of therapy, male friendships, and finding a group of men who will call you out and help you rebuild your life.

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