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In This Episode:
It’s not about the person; It’s about the solution: Negotiations can be tricky. You can fight the person or you can fight for the solution.
What were the most memorable details about your last negotiation? Maybe it was discussing a promotion with your boss, a big contract for your business or a chat with your 17-year-old about taking out the car.
Did you feel like it was a win-win?
According to Getting to Yes, by Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton. Don’t fight the person; fight for the solution.
Negotiations often fail because things get personal. Make your goal to find a solution. If you let things get personal it can cause you to lose sight of your desired outcome.
Add in the personal bombshells like “You’re crazy” or using words like ‘never’ and ‘always’ will trigger emotional responses rather than helpful suggestions
Negotiate only with facts and come from a place of creating value and you will close the distance between you and your adversary.
Defeating the person “across the table” is not always winning.
Traci's Takeaways:
Negotiations often fail when personal feelings get involved. Stay focused on the solution.
Resources:
Getting to YesRoger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton
Quote:
"Defeating the person "across the table" is not always winning."
Traci DeForge
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In This Episode:
What would be possible if we put in 100% of or efforts and let go to any attachment of the outcome?
Imagine what would be possible if you moved forward with ideas, decisions, confrontations without any emotional attachment or fear around the outcome?
We are only responsible for our actions in any situations.
Outcomes are almost always out of our control.
No action? No chance of an outcome.
To truly let go of attachment you have to be willing to let go of the ideas of the outcome. attachments are ideas, not the thing itself.
Deepak Chopra explain the concept of letting go by using the metaphor of a gardener. The gardener plants the seed and gives the seed all it needs to survive but he doesn’t go and dig it up every day to see if it has grown. The gardener is clear about the outcome he desires, he does the work required but then he lets go or detaches himself from the outcome.
Takeaways From This Episode:
See every bump in your road as a learning experience. You will have good days and bad days. the bad days can end up being amazing gifts, if you learn from them.
Believe that every experience can make you stronger – Bad things can temporarily deflate you, but they don’t have to define you.
Resources:
Attachment Theory and Research: New Directions and Emerging Themes
edited by Jeffry A. Simpson, W. Steven Rholes
Study around infants being separated from their primary caregiver. Feels anxiety and despair and works vigorously to regain by clinging, crying and searching. “Protest” behavior to get them back to feeling safe and secure.
Quote:
“Your time is limited,” Steve Jobs has said, “so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most importantly, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.”
Traci DeForge
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In This Episode:
Emotions vs. Logic...When it comes to making a decision which do use? You might be surprised to realize it is not what you think.
This episode was so fun to produce! Once you get through all the laughter you’ll find out 2 tips to break your cellphone addiction and several other easy wellness tips to integrate every day.
Do emotions drive your decisions? What happens when an opportunity to decide triggers your emotions?
Decision making is not logical, it is emotional according to the latest findings in neuroscience.
What do chickens, motorcycles and vacuum cleaners all have in common?
Are we rational human beings or are human being rationalizers?
Learn one survey tool that will save you thousands of dollars on focus group research studies.
Resources:
Song: Emotional Rescue
LyricsSong Facts
Psychology Today Article: Logic and Emotion
University of Texas Case study on Chickens
Max Diff
Fast Company Article: The End of Rational vs. Emotional
Traci DeForge
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In This Episode:
The hardest three words to say aren’t I love you – they’re I don’t know. That’s the opinion of Stephen J. Dubner and Steven D. Levitt, authors of the behavioral economics bestseller Freakonomics.
Why is learning to say “I don’t know.” Important?
Some neuroscientists believe that our need to know is actually linked to our brain function. When we have an answer, we get a hit of dopamine so we feel compelled to try.
Find out why saying I don’t know in business is not a solution.
Find 3 alternative ways to say I don’t know without feeling uncomfortable.
Resources:
https://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2015/05/04/six-ways-to-confidently-say-i-dont-know/#2ac1bbb62c66
Traci Long DeForge
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In This Episode:
{Re-broadcast} Change happens in our lives and can take us by surprise at any time. Some changes we embrace and some arrive unexpectedly in the form of tragedy or loss. The re-release of this broadcast episode is in memorial of Mike Blanton, May 24, 1954 - March 25, 2017. A wonderful man who was loved by so many and lost too soon. May Kelley Blanton, his family, friends and business family find the peace and courage to walk through this unimaginable life change.
Courage is not merely a word; it’s state of mind…Change is inevitable; it is how we choose to look at change that determines our success in business and in life.
Be reminded to feel the fear and do it anyway: being courageous in business does not mean lacking fear… to have courage is to be able to face fears and move forward.
Gain insight on why it is hard for people to change even when it is a positive change.
Learn about the 3 -2-1 change model and how it can keep you from avoiding change.
Learn how to embrace change and combat resistance to change.
Resources:
Baggage Claim, Artist Miranda Lambert
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baggage_Claim
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kayla-michele-jackson/starting-a-business-build_b_10230960.html
Traci Long DeForge
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In This Episode:
Find out why being wealthy is not all about the zeros
Discover how accidental entrepreneurship led to two successful businesses at 27 years old.
Explore how a digital detox on a daily basis can change your emotional, spiritual and physical wellbeing.
Hear two tips to break your cellphone addiction.
Guest: Teliah Geinger
Teliah is the owner of Renu Hot Yoga, NUYU Juice Bar, and the host of The Balancing Act Podcast, where she interviews women entrepreneurs on balancing personal and business life. Aside from those three, she coaches personal clients on developing healthy habits and yoga practices. She loves every joy, opportunity, challenge and growth moment that comes along with being an entrepreneur and especially loves working alongside her husband, Kylon. She loves being outside with her family and looks forward to building their dream home in the mountains of beautiful Washington State so she can snowboard and work from home every day.
Traci Long DeForge
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Traci shares her story on how if you change the way you look at things, the things you are looking at change. It is not a riddle. Find out how it works!
Traci Deforge
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In This Episode:
Traci accidentally deleted 8,956 archived files spanning 6 years of her business. Did she have a meltdown? Yes. Did it turn into an enlightening experience? Yes!
Delete and Restore: Deleting files archived in our brains and in our business can open space for big growth
Do You Ever Wish You Could Delete Your Feelings?
Resources:
How to control your feelings so they don’t control you. https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/anxiety-zen/201405/do-you-ever-wish-you-could-delete-your-feelings
Deleting memories, muscle memory scents and seasons http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3479457/How-erase-painful-memories-just-moving-eyes-increasingly-popular-type-therapy-diminish-negative-memories-help-wellbeing
TAKEAWAYS:
1. Meditation 2. 3 step priority list to reset your brain 3. No is not a four-letter word.
Traci Long DeForge
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Happy Birthday Journey to There! We turn one today and want you to celebrate with us! In honor of this day we are re-releasing the Beauty is in the Beginning episode. If you've just joined us find out the inspiration behind the show. If you've been with us all along, we thank you. Your support means more than we can say!
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In This Episode:
Traci shares how her worrying over two unrelated incidents actually caused her to re-schedule the recording time of this show and put it off for two days!. Why do we worry about things we cannot control? How do you stop yourself from torturing yourself with anxiety? Listen in...
“Don’t Worry.” Everyone says it but everyone also does it!
Traci rescheduled the recording of this episode by two days because she was worried about two pending unrelated incidents. See if it was all worth it….
Don’t Worry, Everyone says it but everyone also does it. Is it biological or is it a learned habit?
Worry about cash flow. Worry about turnover. Worry about reaching goals. Why do we worry? Is worrying about your business helping it grow faster? Learn a few tips on how to stop the worry loop in your head!
Try using measurements to help manage anxiety. Find out how an anxious financial advisor went from making $75,000 to $200,000
Resources:
http://jamesclear.com/evolution-of-anxiety
http://www.thegreatcourses.com/professors/mark-leary/ http://www.thegreatcourses.com/courses/understanding-the-mysteries-of-human-behavior.html
Traci Long DeForge
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