Gay Men Going Deeper

Joy Killers: How and Why We Sabotage Joy

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Why does joy feel so hard to hold onto? In this episode of Gay Men Going Deeper, we’re revealing the joy killers: those sneaky ways we sabotage happiness even when life is going well.

We explore:

  • The difference between chasing pleasure and cultivating joy
  • Foreboding joy (a.k.a. waiting for the other shoe to drop) and how it robs us of the present.
  • How trauma and disappointment condition us to expect loss 
  • The role of protector parts and self-sabotage in keeping joy at arm’s length.
  • What we’re really trying to protect ourselves from when we don’t let joy all the way in.

    • By the end, you’ll see how internalized shame, fear, and control kill our joy- and how practicing gratitude, presence, and vulnerability can help us reclaim it.

    Today's Hosts:

    • Michael DiIorio
    • Matt Landsiedel

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