A few years ago, author Ruthie Lindsey and I spoke at the same conference. I only knew her from online, but I remember hearing her story that day and being gutted by the pain and loss that she has experienced in her life. You can read about her experience in her book, There I Am. (I read it in two days and cannot recommend it enough.) During this conversation, we dive into some deep topics: 

What if you’re in a leadership position, but don’t know if you believe anymore?

What does it mean to struggle with your faith? 

What does it mean to be a people pleaser? 

What does it mean to be a Christian in today’s culture? 

How do we become an ally in the Black Lives Matter Movement?

 

Who am I… really?

• I share how at 35, I feel like I’m just starting to see who I truly am and not trying to fit into a version of myself that I thought I should be.

• Ruthie shares how she saw her brother get in trouble a lot when she was little and so she made a conscious decision to always please others.

 

• “I found so much value and worth in what anyone outside of me thought of me.”

 

• This caused her to feel disconnected and unable to process hard things. 

 

• “I wasn’t allowed to show anger or hurt or rage or disappointment. Those things were not becoming of a young Christian sweet girl. I pushed all that stuff down.”

 

 

Struggling in faith… 

• Ruthie reflects on the moments she felt abandoned by her faith and recognizes that she was surrounded by love in those moments.

 

• “All the traumatic things are crucial ingredients to get there.”

 

• I share how I thought I was unworthy and broken without Jesus. It was only in the last 6 or 7 years that I have given myself permission to learn more about God. God is not going to be threatened by my doubts.

 

• “Don’t just take everything that these preachers have given to you. Go within. Everything is about calling us home.”

 

• God invites us to look inward and question things.

 

• “You are so good and worthy and inherently divinely needed on this planet. You have a medicine that no one else here can give but you and that all comes from going within.”

 

 

“I feel like our healing journey, our awakening journey, is way more of an unlearning and a remembering. It’s an uncovering of what’s always been there. We don’t need to try and become someone we’re not, it’s remembering who we’ve always been.”

 

How to be a true ally…

• Before you can love and see another person, you have to love and see yourself. So do the inner work.

 

• “The 13th amendment was passed a long time ago and it didn’t change people’s hearts… Going inward, doing this unlearning… that’s what changes our hearts. Until everyone is seen as equal, our work isn’t done.”

 

• Ruthie talks about and reflects on moments when she has been complicit and recognizes where she is growing in this journey moving forward.

 

• “I feel a fire in me to do better.”

 

 

Resources

• Keep up with Ruthie at RuthieLindsey.com and join her email list, on IG @ruthielindsey, and on FB at @ruthielindseyspeaker.
• Buy Ruthie’s book, There I Am: The Journey From Hopelessness to Healing.
• Check out the book club she started with Jedidiah Jenkins.
• Listen to Jedidiah Jenkins on The Refined Collective Podcast.
• Listen to the Unspoken Podcast, which Ruthie co-hosts.
• If you need resources to learn more about the Black Lives Matter movement, listen to this episode here.

 

For $5/month, you can get access to exclusive video content for Patreon subscribers. Like… how to answer the question “why are you still single?” How to know if your standards are too high. And an update on my dating life. YUP! There will be a new video every week just for Patreon subscribers. Don’t miss out! Head over to Patreon.com/therefinedcollective to learn more and sign up!

 

I was tired of hearing male pastors preach about waiting until marriage for sex when they had gotten married in their early 20s and had no idea what it was really like to date in today’s culture! I wanted to hear from someone in my shoes— so I wrote a book! It’s called Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex and it’s coming out in April 2021! Head over to bit.ly/kat-sexless to pre-order now!

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.