Hey, we’re back! Well, Greg Dworkin is back, anyway. I never left! I just forgot to turn my computer on every day for a week. Sorry about that! That — like Trump — is Weird!   So, during the time I forgot to turn my computer on, the Democratic Party decided to go a different direction with its presidential nomination. And that seems nice! In fact, people seem to like it. Which is also nice. And if you remember the excitement among the Black Greeks when she was nominated as VP, it’s nothing compared to the excitement this time. Whereas with the other recent news regarding the presidential tickets, people do not seem to like JD Vance. He is a jerk and a weirdo, and people want none of it. And if you’d rather criticize him on policy grounds, he prefers policies that are jerky and weird that people want none of.   Of course, as weird as Vance is, Trump is still the original weirdo, in so many ways. And the weirdness is catching. There’s even weirdness in Venezuela, now.   Oh, if you were looking for hard news from the United States of American, please note that the Biden administration (still in power) has got a free hand on SCOTUS reform now, too.

What a summer! Joe Biden had a kinda lackluster debate, Donald Trump was kinda shot in the ear, Democrats were kinda whistling past the graveyard and then David Waldman went on vacation, and it kinda feels like we joined him, doesn’t it? Ah, months away from October and finally, they’re probably out of surprises.

Granbury, Texas residents are being driven crazy by the noise of their local crypto-mine. Imagine the noise of chainsaw 24/7 outside your window. It’s destroying the lives and the health of residents but doesn’t bother anyone running the mine or the state at all, as it is far from their backyards.  Most Granburians and crypto-miners are pretty conservative, though, and you know how they feel about limiting anyone’s liberty or freedoms.

Once again, a throwback to the days of the 2020 Democratic National Convention. You had to hear about the Republican one last week. This week, while I’m taking in the scenery out west, we can talk about that last time the Dems did their thing.

David Waldman and Greg Dworkin welcome you to the climatic final day of the 2020 Democratic National Convention, brought to you by Donald Trump. If the world didn’t have so much to fix, the convention wouldn’t have been half as good.

Kamala Harris already changed the world for the better last night. And! Last night, The President of the United States returned to address the nation! Makes one feel good to be an American. Of course, the more things change, the more they remain the same. Some whinef or more, while some are out there making it happen.

Bill O’Reilly worries Biden-Harris might turn their back on him. No one has turned their back on O’Reilly in years. We’ll see how the Gop convention turns out for him. (Not brought to you by Goodyear)

Crusted phlegm Steve KG Bannon was arrested and indicted, charged with fraud and money laundering, after illegally shaking down wall-loving rubes. Steve might be wearing his overlapping half dozen popped-collar orange jumpsuits for the next 20 years. Joining him are a rogue’s gallery of villainy, including Kris Kobach, Erik Prince, Tom Tancredo, Sheriff David Clarke and former pitcher Curt Schilling, along with anyone else in the swamp that heard “wall” and “money”.  Donald Trump hasn’t heard of any of those guys.

It has been revealed that the Senate Intelligence Committee made criminal referrals of Donald Trump Jr.,  Jared Kushner, SteveBannon, Erik Prince and Sam Clovis to federal prosecutors in 2019.

Trump’s attempt to dodge a subpoena for his tax records was nixed by a federal judge.

The election will not go smoothly, and Trump will cause trouble. How much trouble will we allow him to cause? Louis DeJoy promised a couple things, but isn’t about to repair the damage he already created. Also, he was lying about stopping. Laura Loomer is a loon, but Qanon is nuts, and now they’re coming to DC. What’s the problem with electing representatives of terrorist groups to the other side of the metal detectors? Then there’s Russia. Russiagate was not a hoax. Russia could turn out to be a little too real.

Also, there is a COVID-19 pandemic. People keep tossing it out there, and people keep catching it.

David Waldman is still on vacay this week, from last Friday through this Friday… Hey listen, when David gets back… no one tell him about Joe and Kamala! It’ll be a hoot!

Justice Roberts subverted the Separation of Powers and created a dangerous precedent, and a dangerously unaccountable President… but he probably never thought it might also empower a responsible one so quickly. Judge Aileen Cannon released 93 pages of myopia to pave the way for her and Donald Trump’s escape from the Mar-a-Lago stolen documents case. How was Aileen to know that special prosecutors were “a thing”? Now everyone pestered by a special counsel has been gifted a giant fly-swatter.

A lie can travel half the world while the truth is pulling on his shoes, said somebody, maybe. A lie, however, can make money for years longer than the truth could ever hope for.

Well, we couldn't quite get it together to have fresh material for every day of the break. So for this Tuesday and Thursday, we bring you our regular guests on their regular days of the week, only this time, they're counterprogramming last week's Republican National Convention with our coverage of the last Democratic National Convention. From 2020!

David Waldman is joined by Joan McCarter at KITM 2020 Democratic Convention World Headquarters to assist in blowing up virtual balloons, singing Springsteen and reviewing yesterday’s opening night. Analysts and hecklers were sidelined, and no funny hats, but Michelle Obama spoke directly to me, and so far that makes it the best ever. Tonight: Chuck Schumer! ...Followed by John Kerry! Woohoo! And following them… a minute or so of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. (Probably in conjunction with her AMA on Instagram.)

Donald Trump didn’t like it. No one appreciates that Trump has done so much more for the crummy, horrible, dumb people in the United States. In fact, Donald could talk your ear off about how ungrateful the Blacks and the Jews are these days. Suburban housewives though, they can shut up. He’s brought them a long way, baby. Trump will announce an executive order allowing Rosa Parks to sit anywhere on a bus in 1955. Also, it’s now legal for Susan B. Anthony to vote in 1872.  

Anyhow, Michelle got Trump’s COVID-19 death toll wrong. He’s scored 30,000 more than she said, at least! Meanwhile, 71 of Mississippi's 82 counties are reporting coronavirus outbreaks on their first day of school. The jury’s still out on whether Adrenochrome, harvested from the fear of children, has a beneficial use against COVID-19—“the jury” being bat-shit crazy Qanoners who are now stealing kids to get their own little taste.

Speaking of evil, Postmaster General Louis DeJoy (not to be confused with non-evil short track Hall-of-Famer Don LaJoie) is destroying the Post Office to swing the election, and his stock portfolio. Susan Collins is concerned. Mitch McConnell is not concerned, yet. But Steny Hoyer and Nancy Pelosi are working to coax him out of his shell.

Trump just might pardon Edward Snowden… and there’s a senate report confirming Russia used Paul Manafort and WikiLeaks to sway the 2016 election. Remember emoluments? There are three pending cases on Trump’s violation of the emoluments clause, and it looks as if they will be pending still on election day. Remember Miles Taylor? Donald Trump does not. Katie Walsh led talks to remove Trump from the 2016 ticket. You might remember her as an RNC superstar, and one of the only “pro”s to work at the Trump White House.

David Waldman is away on holiday! I am away on holiday! Greg Dworkin isn’t away on holiday, but I don’t believe he has an office key… What will we do now? For the first time in KITM’s storied history we will present a pre-recorded ALL-NEW KITM, and this ALL-NEW summary of same. Why not? It’s summer, nothing much is happening…

J.D. Vance is an insignificant suck-up in an insignificant position at a very significant time, at a very young age. Vance is the tip of the spear of Project 2025.

Darwin Darko reminds us that Black women are squarely behind the Biden-Harris ticket, and approve of Kamala as much as Joe, which is somehow seen as a problem.

School vouchers are said to save taxpayer money, but only by the dishonest to the credulous.

David Waldman is both away, and back today for a paradoxically ALL-NEW KITM! The challenge for David will be determining what… or who might still be around and relevant by our release dates.

J.D. Vance is as opportunistic and aggressive as Covid. Don’t expect J.D. to be gone anytime soon. Vance is only 39, but he’s had grifts going for years. He once sold an anti-opioid effort to hill… Appalachian areas in southern Ohio that ran through its cash in a couple of years by hiring reps from the pushers to sleuth out the culprits in their addiction crisis. J.D. is all set to be the perfect heir to Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin’s anti-globalization peace plan.

Meanwhile, a federal appeals court blocked all of President Joe Biden’s student debt relief.

Are Donald Trump and Republicans finally sick of winning? Will they win so much that they’ll forget to win in November? Probably not, but it’s nice to think about.

The Biden drop-out bus still has a lot of gas left in the tank. Although no one is sure of its schedule. And some riders may be refusing to pay the fare. Polls show that Democrats remain Democrats, nervous as always. Black voters, who may have more reason to be nervous than most, remain steady supporters. And everybody’s still happy that Biden’s ready to entertain a discussion of SCOTUS reform.

Meanwhile, too many are buying into the Gop’s fake “unity” claims, even as delegates wave “Mass Deportation Now!” placards. Although it may be that they’re talking about unity with Russia. Either way, Republicans are (as usual), all too pleased with themselves. Not a good look! But you can still find some Republicans, even at this convention, who know an a-hole when they see one. Especially when the a-hole is Matt Gaetz!

Speaking of a-holes at the convention, Peter Navarro traded his jump suit for a monkey suit, and Miami for Milwaukee. Meanwhile, weirdo Bannon-coddler Guo Wengui may take Navarro’s place in the slammer. And if you were anxiously awaiting the fall of Rudy Giuliani, we’ve got you covered. Plus, he got booted from bankruptcy court and his judgment creditors can finally start “grabbing his assets,” in the non-Borat sense.

Ever wonder what happened to, like, the news? Whither the “right to know?”

Today, David Waldman and Greg Dworkin deliver all of the up-to-the-minute RNC coverage we want and demand, which is none.

Into the annals of history (Wikipedia) with Abscam, the Keating Five, and uhm “Rubbergate”, now goes Senator Bob Menedez, judged qualified to headline his very own corruption scandal and maybe even a couple hundred years of jail time. Getting Bob into history books and prison is easy though, compared to getting him out of Senate. That might take some effort.

J.D. Vance got into politics for more than the bread. Vance has proven to be a zealous believer in whatever gets him to the next rung, just like his idol-idolizer Tucker Carlson. Tuck and J.D. understand that the quickest way to Donald Trump’s heart is up his ample behind, that soft spot that Donald reserves for his most ardent parasites.

MAGA will tell you, Donald Trump can’t lose this election. He. Can. Not. Lose. There is no alternative, to them. But, if that inconceivable event to them happens, they will just add more enemies to their enemy list.  Democrats can win still, and will hopefully resist running their own Trump in 2028.

Hey, remember when Donald Trump was shot, or almost shot, maybe? Well, it turns out that the shooter just might not be the only one that ever thought of shooting Donald Trump! Donald was caught on tape reminiscing about his courage in the face of danger with Robert F. Kennedy's son, along with discussing the real terror facing the world, baby vaccination.

It’s Tuesday, so David Waldman and Joan McCarter are here to reminisce on the good old days back when Donald Trump was a convicted felon… Oh, he still is? Well, it is only Tuesday.

Yes, it’s another Donald Trump miracle. Could it be… God who keeps doing it? After all, He does have a dark sense of humor. Who else would place three snipers under the roof  that the rally shooter was climbing upon? Or suggest the shooter and his family to the Trump campaign as prime 2A voters? (Btw, has anyone broke it to Donald that one of his props was damaged at the rally?)  

It could be that He needsTrump to stick around to keep J.D. Vance from moving up. Yale-Yokel Vance might seem as American as apple pie, following the release of his book “Hillbilly Elegy” (Both pandering and condescending towards MAGA in just two words), but there’s a lot more than his press release to the guy. Donald might soon need more than Matrix-level ducking skills once the election’s over and Project 2025’s man is impatiently second in line.