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Barry Schwartz is a TED speaker, a professor, a social scientist, and the author of "The Paradox of Choice." During our conversation, Barry talks about decision paralysis, the downsides of having too many options, and the difference between what calls a "maximizer" and a "satisficier." He also talks about his view that modern depression is in part caused people feeling overwhelmed by choice, how social media and modernity have exacerbated the paradox of choice, and the importance of individuals to intentionally limit their choices.

Barry writes in his book: “There’s no question that some choice is better than none, but it doesn’t follow from that that more choice is better than some choice.” "The Paradox of Choice" is nearly 20 years old, and its message, to me, is both counterintuitive and evergreen. It flies in the face of the most American of ideals: the value of freedom, the value of endless optionality.

To my mind, Barry's ideas are worth considering. He's right that endless choice can lead to “paralysis rather than liberation" - an observation that our culture, increasingly, would do well to heed.

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(00:00) Intro

(00:31) The genesis of "The Paradox of Choice"

(06:11) The relevance of "The Paradox of Choice" today

(10:37) The ideal of freedom of choice in Western Civilization

(13:32) "Maximizer" vs "Satisficer"

(17:28) Is it ever wise to be a "Maximizer"?

(24:16) Depression caused by excess choice

(26:00) How can Maximizers be persuaded to change?

(29:20) Placing intentional limits on yourself

(32:36) What else is causing the negativity of excess choice?

(40:22) Insatiability and workaholism in America

(47:26) Increasing choice decreases economic activity

(52:00) Dating, choice, and how to change

Jon Kostas ([email protected]) is an activist, a former alcoholic, and the first study participant in the NYU psilocybin clinical trials. During our conversation, Jon talks about his years of alcohol abuse, his attempts to rid himself of the addiction, his doctor's belief that, in his mid-20's, his quantity of alcohol consumption would likely kill him within a few years, and his eventual experience of a medically-supervised "heroic dose" of psilocybin - the psychoactive ingredient in magic mushrooms - at New York University.

Jon discusses what his trip was like, how it cured him of his alcohol cravings, the efficacy rates of such treatments, and how it has motivated him to dedicate his life to help others get access to professionally-supervised psychedelic experiences to address addiction and other aspects of human suffering.

Jon is the first person on this show who was a friend before the interview. His story is an incredible one and offers hope to many who are battling severe addiction. It takes courageous people like Jon to step forward and share honest, open, and very personal stories to effect real change. It was an honor to do this one.

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(00:00) Intro

(03:16) Drinking and early life in New York City

(09:58) Did Jon view his drinking as a problem?

(14:18) What are mornings like as an alcoholic?

(20:10) Drunk life was better than sober life

(21:48) Alcoholism rooted in anxiety

(25:52) Alcohol providing relief from pressure

(29:57) When Jon knew he had a real problem

(32:32) AA, specialists, pharmaceuticals, and counselors didn't work

(37:27) Jon's trajectory prior to the NYU trial

(49:32) The NYU psilocybin for addiction trial

(57:30) Jon's psychological state prior to the NYU trial

(59:55) The first psychedelic trip

(01:17:49) How did this experience cure his alcoholism?

(01:24:17) Is the word "cured" appropriate?

(01:29:37) What would Jon say to current addicts?

(01:35:10) Advocating for doing this work in a clinical setting

Leidy Klotz is a professor at the University of Virginia and is the author of "Subtract: The Untapped Science of Less." During our conversation, Leidy talks about why humans are so wired to add to, rather than subtract from, their life, how addition is a signal of competence that we are hard-wired to display, and the downsides of this natural tendency.

Leidy also talks about the many ways in which subtracting can be beneficial: from quitting smoking and high-sugar diets, to removing modern addictions like excessive social media use, to getting rid of work meetings to create slack for creativity and focus.

The power of subtraction can't be unseen once it's glimpsed. Evolution operates by removing what doesn't work, the "via negativa" concept notes that we know what is wrong with more clarity than what is right, that knowledge grows by subtraction, and human wellbeing is often best boosted by removing a toxic relationship, a toxic boss, or toxic stress. There is a humility in this approach, and as Leidy notes, perhaps we all need to be more-often prompted to tweak our life goals and New Years' resolutions to include habits that need to be subtracted, in addition to those we want to add.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:23) How "Subtract" came to be

(03:56) Coming to the theme of subtraction

(07:03) Why humans are so wired to add

(11:13) Subtraction as a proactive act

(19:15) Cultural differences regarding subtraction

(27:28) "Via negativa"

(33:30) Evolution is an act of subtraction

(35:20) Quotes about subtraction

(45:34) Subtraction to fight modern addictions

(55:08) Subtraction in New Year's Resolutions

Shawn T. Smith is a clinical psychologist and an author of many books, including his best-seller, The "Tactical Guide to Women." During our conversation, Shawn talks about modern dating, the relationship issues with which his male and female clients are struggling, dating apps, how evolutionary psychology has influenced him, and the "red pill" community. More expansively, he talks about how "The Tactical Guide" came to be, what men can do to properly vet women for long-term relationships, and the importance of time in making life-changing decisions.

This episode is primarily for men. I have found Shawn to be a candid, sane, and even-handed thinker in the online world of mating and dating. Sean is a fair-minded and strong voice for men, and I would encourage any young man - either looking to make wise life choices or suffering due to indifference - to consult his work.

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(00:00) Intro

(02:00) How "The Tactical Guide to Women" came to be

(03:42) A void in the culture

(04:50) The default male approach

(06:17) The major themes of "The Tactical Guide"

(07:72) The importance of time in vetting

(11:50) Red and green flags to look for

(16:42) Borderline personality disorder

(21:06) Evolutionary psychology

(24:52) Roy Baumeister

(25:41) Relationship issues he sees in his clinical practice

(28:50) Date-onomics and city sex ratios

(30:37) Advice for men who are struggling

(32:39) Common dating complaints of women

(34:08) Dating apps and the Pareto principle

(41:20) The tragic aspect of female professional success

(45:15) What is the proper message for young women?

(46:07) The "Barbie" phenomenon

(47:14) What makes for a successful long-term relationship?

(50:43) The red pill community

(59:40) Who does Shawn recommend for further knowledge?

(01:01:22) Why does this information matter?

Brent W. Roberts is a professor at the University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign and specializes in human personality. During our conversation, Brent talks The Big Five personality traits, what personality is, the differences between the Big Five and the Myers-Briggs personality test, diversity in human personality, the role of genes and sex differences in personality, evolutionary psychology, the stability of one's personality over time, how to decrease trait neuroticism, and practical applications of personality research.

I've been fascinated by the Big Five ever since I learned about it a few years ago. It's clear to me that there's a massive public hunger to learn about human personality: what it is, how we know what we know, and how it can better illuminate who we are as a species and as individuals.

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(00:00) Intro

(02:07) What is personality?

(08:23) Differences between Myers-Briggs and The Big Five

(12:48) The wide differences in human personalities

(17:29) Sex differences in neuroticism

(19:27) Ev psych and sex differences in personality

(25:17) Describing The Big Five personality traits

(30:41) The Big Five and political beliefs

(36:28) How to reduce neuroticism

(41:20) Why does therapy help to reduce neuroticism?

(46:34) Why does knowledge of human personality matter?

Warren Farrell is a political scientist, a former board member of the National Organization for Women (NOW), and the author of many books, including "The Boy Crisis," the focus of this conversation. During our conversation, Warren talks about his time at NOW, second wave and modern feminism, the gender pay gap, what he learned when he stopped lecturing at and started listening to men, and the historic and current role of men in society

He also talks about the reasons for the decline in male sperm count over the past two generations, the role of men in war, why fathers are so important and what children learn from them, and contemporary male and female college graduation rates.

Warren notes during the interview that perhaps the most important line in his book is: "The Boy Crises resides where dads do not reside." He is one of the world's experts on this topic, and is at his best during this interview. It was a privilege to host it.

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(00:00) Intro

(01:58) "I am sorry for being a man"

(06:11) Warren's schism with NOW over the importance of dads

(14:29) How we know dads matter

(20:40) What Warren learned from listening to men

(25:54) Why the sacrifices of men are largely unknown

(29:58) Quotes from "The Boy Crisis"

(32:13) Sperm count in modern men

(42:18) What dads provide to their kids

(49:10) Why sperm count is declining

(52:18) The future and the proper role of men

Ed Hagen is a professor of anthropology at Washington State University Vancouver. During our conversation, Ed talks about the evolutionary reasons for two of humanity's most common mental illnesses: anxiety and depression. He also talks about psychic pain, the correlation between grip strength and depression, hypervigilance and anxiety, differences in suicide rates between men and women, and suicide attempts being an "honest signal of need."

Ed has noted that depression is commonly "intertwined with social conflict" and is a legitimate indication of a threat to one's biological fitness. Millions suffer every day from a poor or an intolerable psychological state. Ed's work and his original ideas are a potential corrective to the common view that psychological ill-health is due primarily to a "chemical imbalance." He encourages us to look deeper, to take a more comprehensive look, and to use an evolutionary lens to begin to try to both understand and help alleviate unnecessary suffering.

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(00:00) Intro

(02:13) Ed's interest in evolutionary psychology

(06:45) An evolutionary-based view of mental health

(08:08) Biological fitness and mental health

(11:35) What is anxiety and depression?

(14:31) Why does depression cause its specific symptoms?

(21:22) Anxiety and depression as a corrective mechanism

(24:19) What is anxiety and why does it exist?

(28:00) Advice for people with depression or anxiety

(38:57) Advice for young people with mental illness

(43:07) Suicide attempts as an "honest signal of need"

(44:01) The relationship between grip strength and depression

(52:13) The importance of relationships

William Irvine was a professor at Wright State University and is the author of seven books, including his best-seller, "A Guide to the Good Life: The Ancient Art of Stoic Joy." During our conversation, Bill talks about the history of the Stoics, an ancient school of philosophy that began in Athens in 300 B.C. He also talks about the psychological training that the Stoics encouraged, including negative visualization, a practice aimed at reducing the human tendency for insatiability and increasing our gratitude for the many gifts of our lives.

Bill's book helped to launch the modern renaissance of Stoicism. The Stoic's message - including those of Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, and Musonius Rufus - emphasized the importance of intentional struggle and temporary hardship, to align one's body and one's mind with the reality of life itself. This message is evergreen in creating resilient and capable people, and ever more important in our increasingly super-convenient, super-addicted "Brave New World."

Stoicism reminds me of a quote from Veritas Savannah:

“Prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.”

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(00:00) Intro

(02:09) How "A Guide to the Good Life" came to be

(10:01) Who were the Stoics?

(16:19) The modern Stoic Renaissance

(21:49) Negative visualization

(29:57) Insatiability and the importance of struggle

(38:09) Marcus Aurelius and expecting hardship

(39:47) Modern technology and the rise of Stoicism

(44:47) What would the Stoics say to modern people?

(50:44) Tools from the Stoics to toughen up

Marc Schulz is a professor of psychology at Bryn Mawr college, is the Associate Director of the Harvard Study of Human Development, and is the co-author of the book "The Good Life: Lessons from the World's Longest Scientific Study of Happiness."

During our conversation, Marc talks about the key insight from the longest study ever done on human flourishing: that good relationships are the most important factor in a thriving life. He also discusses what a good relationship means, how good relationships provide us protection from the vicissitudes of life, the ideal number of friends, Robert Putnam's book "Bowling Alone" and the epidemic of modern loneliness, and how our culture distracts us from properly prioritizing what actually makes us healthy and happy.

I feel like the truth of this book is hiding in plain sight: we all know that great friends and enduring connections are treasures, but it's easy to get distracted and lethargic. I hope this work can be a clarifier for us all, and a reminder to be more people-focused, to be a bit more socially generous, and a bit more worthy of having terrific people in our lives.

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(00:00) Intro

(03:11) The Harvard Study of Human Development

(06:11) An extensive study of human thriving

(07:57) What the study discovered

(10:06) What are good relationships?

(12:05) Relationships provide protection

(16:18) Avoiding toxic relationships

(20:38) Rules of thumb regarding toxic relationships

(23:58) Modern loneliness

(26:51) COVID may have changed our Big 5 personality averages

(29:40) Social fitness

(33:14) How society discourages focusing on our relationships

(37:18) Marc's advice to prioritize relationships

(42:03) Stories from the book that resonate

(46:48) Marc's advice about ambition to his students

(50:33) What are the best number of friends to have?

(54:03) Choosing an intimate partner and the importance of friendship

Roy Baumeister is a social psychologist, a professor at Florida State University, and the author of many books, including "Willpower: Rediscovering the Greatest Human Strength." During our conversation, Roy speaks at length on a variety of fascinating topics: how and why male homosexuality may have survived through evolution, differences in male and female sexuality, hunter-gatherer parenting styles, marriage and sex, how women have shaped men, the "tragedy of the male sex drive," whether free will exists, and how we might approach our nature with a degree of self-awareness and wisdom.

Roy is a brilliant writer, a prolific polymath, and someone who is admired and respected by many who have been on this show.

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(00:00) Intro

(02:31) How are there gay people?

(07:06) Ideal lifetime sex partners for men vs. women

(08:38) The tragedy of the male sex drive

(14:49) Lessons from "Too Many Women"

(19:41) Quotes from Roy about men and women

(23:45) Lesson from Helen Fisher

(27:51) The effect of human babies being born prematurely

(36:56) Sex, marriage, and "The Sex Diaries"

(41:47) Is the expectation of lifelong monogamy unwise?

(47:21) Quotes from Roy about willpower

(49:06) Does free will exist?

(1:00:21) How has evolutionary psychology effected Roy?