Your typical small talk is LOADED with inappropriate questions. Think about it: you ask a person you just met whether they’re married or if they have kids. If they’re new in town, you ask them why they moved here. The answers to those questions are rarely simple, and they sometimes lead to awkward, intimate conversations - right there, next to the bean dip. 

This week, we explore keeping secrets - in small talk, in the workplace, in families, and out in the wider world with listener questions about outing someone’s sexuality after their death, and whether you should tell the truth or preserve your privacy when someone asks how many kids you have. 

Want your questions answered on the show? To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

In this episode we cover:

• The difference between “secret” and “private”
• Whether you should out someone’s gender or sexuality after their death
• Why it’s ok to only tell part of the story (or none of it) when someone asks a personal question based on your public information
• Where to go for help if you feel like you can’t tell the people around you what you’re going through
• The real problem with small talk 

Questions to Carry with you:

• Building a small talk library of questions that don’t suck: a group project

Resources: 

Free Mom Hugs is the best place I know if you’re part of the LGBTQIA+ community and feel like no one’s on your side. You might also check with the Trevor Project, GLAAD, or google LGBTQIA+ resources in your area and online. 

That scene I reference from Schitt’s Creek is in season five, episode 11 (Meet the Parents). Check it out on Netflix. 

Wish you could connect with grieving people who truly, truly get how complicated death and grief can be? The next session of the Writing Your Grief course and community is open for registration now. Your loss is unique, and you are three thousand percent definitely not alone. 

Clinician or medical provider? Be sure to visit megandevine.co to learn about trainings and resources to help your clients navigate these issues. 

Get in touch: 

Thanks for listening to this week’s episode of Here After with Megan Devine. Tune in, subscribe, leave a review, send in your questions, and share the show with everyone you know. Together, we can make things better, even when they can’t be made right. 

To submit your questions by voicemail, call us at (323) 643-3768 or visit megandevine.co

For more information, including clinical training and consulting, visit us at www.Megandevine.co

For grief support & education, follow us at @refugeingrief on IG, FB, & TW

Check out Megan’s best-selling books - It’s Okay That You're Not Okay and How to Carry What Can’t Be Fixed  

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