You started working on saving your marriage.  Good for you!

And then, you hit a bump.  You get knocked down.  Maybe you discovered an affair, physical or emotional.  Maybe your spouse is irritable and upset.  Maybe it is anger and resentment, yours or your spouse’s.

And it knocks you down.

Enough that you think it is over.  That you are at the end.

But are you?  Or do you need to get back up?

In most things in life, we think the process is (or should be) smooth.  I fall for that myth all the time.  I think a project is going to be easy and straightforward.  Only to find a complication and difficulty at every turn.

And guess what?  The same is true in your efforts to save your marriage.

We talk about how you might get knocked down… and how to get up again, in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast.

 

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Save The Marriage System

Knocked Down, Back Up

Learn how to save your marriage and improve your relationship.  Stop your divorce and restore a loving relationship.  Join Dr. Lee H. Baucom for this impactful podcast that can save your marriage.

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On a regular basis (meaning, several times each week), I have a discussion with a client that ends in the client saying, "I can't...."  Yes, they finish the sentence in many ways.  But the start of the sentence is my focus:  "I can't."

I have a colleague that responds to clients who say, "I can't," with "You can."  That doesn't quite get there, though.  At least for me, I don't think that is the whole answer.

Over the years, I noticed that "can't" is far more complex than we notice.

You may have heard that in other languages, there are multiple words to describe what another language would only have as a single word.  For instance, the Greek language has multiple words to say, "love."  And at least in lore, there are many words in Inuit to say, "snow."

There should be, in my opinion, multiple words for "can't."  But here we are, often with conversations ending with "I can't."

So, I will take it further.  In this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast, I note four different "can'ts."  One really, truly, is. One is really, truly, NOT. And the other two, you have to work through.

If you find yourself saying, "I can't save my marriage," or "I can't change," or "I can't see a way," you may want to take a listen.  You may be stuck in a "can't" that isn't.

Listen below!

 

RELATED RESOURCES:
The Certainty Trap Episode
Stuck In Negativity Episode
The Connection Compass Articles
The Save The Marriage System

“I Can’t”… are you sure??

Can one person save a marriage, even if your spouse doesn’t want it?

I do say that my Save The Marriage System can save your marriage, even if only you want it.

But what can you really do, if your spouse is checked out and not sure they want to stay married?

I answer another listener question in this episode of the Save The Marriage Podcast. Is it really possible to save a marriage working alone?  This is important because so many people don’t believe there is anything that can be done, once a spouse has checked out.  This is not accurate.  And it means that many people who could save their marriage and rebuild, don’t.  They walk away in defeat.

So, what CAN you do?  First, I tackle what you CAN’T do.  Then, we turn our attention to what CAN be done, even if it is only you interested (right now).

Listen below.

RELATED RESOURCES:
Read my article on The Pause Button Marriage
Find my book, How To Save Your Marriage In 3 Simple Steps
Find my Save The Marriage System
Learn more about Connection
Learn more about Conflict

What can you do alone?

This is a SPECIAL EDITION of the Save The Marriage Podcast!
Why?  Because we are on the cusp of an elevated threat to marriages... and it might include your's.

There are 3 periods in the year that see a spike in divorce filings and inquiries.  We are facing one right now:  the beginning of summer.  In the States, that is marked by Memorial Day (coming up very quickly).  For other countries, it may be another week or two off.  But we are slip-sliding right toward it.

In this audio version of a video training, I tell you why this season is a spike, and what to do so that your marriage is not a casualty (but the time to get started is NOW!).

CAUTION:  Open Season on Your Marriage

In my Save The Marriage System Quick-Start Guide, I show the 8 distinct stages of a marriage crisis. But those are the stages of the crisis.  There are also stages to your awareness of the crisis.

This is the point where you are aware of the crisis, the level of the crisis, and the potential threat of the crisis.  And just to let you know:  you are NOT at stage 1.  That would be Asleep.  This is the point when you are not even aware that things are in trouble.  You are blissfully unaware of — or choosing to not notice — the looming marriage crisis that is already underway.

But then you wake up to find yourself in the midst of a troubled relationship, a hurting marriage!

Your spouse may be further along the process, and your marriage may be further along the progression of the crisis.  That is independent of your own awareness of the crisis.

In this episode of the marriage crisis, I discuss the 4 stages of crisis awareness, and the 1 thing you need to do — along with some thoughts on how to/how NOT to do that very thing.

Listen in below.

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FACT of the Crisis
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Waking Up To The Crisis

There is a better than 80% chance that, at this moment, you are a Chaser.  In doing a little informal research, I noticed that about 90% of the people who read my articles, listen to my podcast, read my b0oks, or use my System, are chasing right now.

Why?  Because right now, their spouse (and likely, your spouse) is being a Spacer.  The Chaser/Spacer pattern can vary over time -- who is doing which, how fast both are moving, and what the distance looks like.  Sometimes, couple switch roles.  Usually, because the Chaser gives up and becomes the Spacer, causing the Spacer to suddenly shift to being the Chaser.

There HAS to be a better way... right?

Right??

Why yes, yes there is.  So glad you asked!

In this podcast, I tell you about the Chaser/Spacer roles, how they come to be, why the are so problematic, and why they don't have to be permanent roles or patterns.  We unwind it.

And I tell you about the better role.

Listen below to discover how to stop being the Chaser or Spacer... and what to do, instead!

 

RELATED RESOURCES:
Why Connection Matters
What Space Means
The Save The Marriage System

Knocked Down, Back Up

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