Leadership Chemistry

Ever wondered what the secret sauce of great coaching is? Are honesty, good intentions, and challenging dialogue all essential ingredients? Join us as we, seasoned coaches and close friends, put our heads together to decipher the rules of being a great coach. We share our own trials and tribulations, the highs and the lows, and the wisdom we've gathered along our journey. Our conversation offers fresh perspectives, and we assure you, whether you're a seasoned professional, a newbie coach, or just someone who frequently finds themselves giving advice, you'll leave with something valuable. This episode is republished from the Next Level Human Podcast by Jade Teta.

We go beyond the surface and tackle the tough topics - the importance of open-ended questioning, identifying and breaking detrimental patterns, and the delicate balance between progress and transformation. We all agree, a successful coach is not just someone with a remarkable track record but a genuine, empathetic individual who understands the human element in every interaction. But, do you think that's enough? Is it all about progress or does transformation hold equal importance in coaching? It's a heated discussion, and we encourage you to be part of it.

The world of coaching is complex, demanding, but equally rewarding. As we navigate this challenging terrain, we also throw light on the often overlooked aspect of coaching - the significance of choosing the right clients. We believe that understanding your niche, your audience, and building a strong relationship with your clients can elevate your coaching game. We also delve into the role of coaching in today's ever-evolving job market. So tune in, listen up, and who knows, our conversation might just transform the way you coach or even interact with those around you.

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Even the best-of-the-best coaches only succeed in client transformation 40% of the time. If the highest performers still fail to keep clients compliant over half the time, then knowing the right way to talk about and handle non-compliant clients is that much more important. Behavior change is hard enough to do on our own, so helping other's change is an even harder task, and we can't beat ourselves up when our clients fail to stick to plan. In this episode, I'm giving you the exact formula you need to address non-compliance before it happens, and what to talk about after it does.

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There's a paradox we all face when it comes to confidence: we think that if we have confidence, we can avoid the negative experiences in life like anxiety, fear, or even failure, yet in order to build that confidence we so desperately seek, we must first experience—and even embrace—those very same negatives. If we seek improvement as coaches, business owners, and especially as human beings, we first need to develop a healthy relationship with being less than perfect. So if you find yourself sealing with a crisis of confidence, start with a huge mindset shift in how you see "failure." It's only through the struggles of life that we actually grow, mature, and become truly confident.

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When you work with people, no amount of well-intentioned logic gets you results every time. As a fitness professional, you have all the right answers to your clients problems—eat lean protein and veggies, get in 10k steps every day, manage your stress, get enough sleep—but logical solutions can't solve illogical problems. People aren't algorithms; they have bad days, differing priorities, preferences, and years of societal programming that doesn't go away just because you say so. If you want to avoid burnout, conserve the relationship you have with your clients, and keep going, then you'll need to master the 3 rules of working with human beings.

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I'm notorious for hating personality tests. Humans are infamously terrible at self-awareness, and personality tests become an excuse for people to act like the most base-version of themselves without any reason to change for the better. That being said—there is a personality model that's been intriguing me lately, one that paints a more complete picture, and exists on a sliding scale to make room for the inevitable changes of personality. It'll never be the be-all-end-all of understanding people, but it's a useful tool for understanding ourselves and the people we work with.

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Within every conversation had with our clients, we move either towards trust or away from it. You know by now that building trust with your clients is the single-most important thing you can do to make the biggest impact on their lives, and every conversation brings an opportunity to make your clients feel seen and understood. Every conversation has 2 sets of frames, and as leaders, it's on us to get to the underlying depth beyond what's being said. If you take the time to understand, manage your own impulses, explore your clients' own frames, it'll pay dividends of respect, trust, and credibility.

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Our sense of trust in the world and the people around us is decaying—rapidly. We don't trust anyone or anything, not information sources, institutions, our employers, not even our neighbors. But on a large-scale and a personal level, trust is crucial. Trusting societies and nations tend to report better quality of life metrics across to board, and trusting individuals live longer and happier lives. As coaches and managers, fostering an environment of trust is crucial—creating an environment of resilience, persistence, and transparency will ultimately will lead to results, even when life isn't perfect.

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Coaching, in essence, is relationship building. The relationships that we have with our clients will constantly be changing and it's so easy to get distracted by the urgency of the moment that we forget how far we've come on our journeys together. That's why today I wanted to share the stages of the client relationship, because our clients (and ourselves!) will constantly be growing, improving, and changing and we may experience all these stages several times over in our work with our clients. When we normalize these ebbs and flows, we can help our clients feel connected and understood, which is the secret ingredient to keep them showing up, even when the going gets tough.

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Despite everyone's best intentions, physical health in the United States keeps declining, but why is that? Our brains are evolutionarily wired to trap us within the Scarcity Loop—a trigger for impulsive, repetitive behaviors that make us feel good. And while those behaviors once helped us out in our more primal state, now they lead to all of us getting stuck in behaviors we might regret doing later, things like over-eating, compulsive shopping, or spending too much time on social media. This scarcity loop is why so many of our clients can't seem to make a change, no matter how much they want to. We can't always escape the loop, but we can break down the different parts of the loop in order to deal with it in a better way going forward.

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Got a two-fold episode for you today, the first part being a recap of my summer trip with my wife, Kelsey, and the second part a little education on why you're probably not as good of a listener as you think. Most people think they're great listeners, but so few of us actually feel heard or understood by the people in our lives—that's why becoming a great listener is the ultimate competitive advantage. When people feel listened to, they become less anxious, less extreme in their beliefs, more self-aware, and more open to change. Getting good at listening is important for us as coaches, but also as human beings, trying to make the world a little better. Listen to the full episode for 12 blocks you might face in your listening, or if you want to know the best-of-the-best from our west coast road trip.

Check out the Take Care website and join the mailing list for insights delivered right to your inbox every week!

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