Dan Conway is a bishop in Newcastle, in northeast England, and has also served as an elders quorum president. He served a mission to Scotland, and works as a digital marketing executive. In this episode Dan walks us through his crisis of faith prior to being called as bishop, and how that affected how he leads now.

Episode Summary

5:45 Mission to Scotland

8:45 Faith crisis

14:40 Reading and praying didn’t work as a solution

19:20 Call as Elders Quorum president in the midst of a faith crisis

21:50 Finding the answers to his questions

28:30 Experience bearing his testimony of Joseph Smith

31:15 Becoming the bishop after a faith crisis

43:45 Understanding that people can change and become better

46:15 First year as a bishop

51:20 How he does ward council: short meetings every other week, then visits

56:35 Using an agenda and PPIs

1:01:00 Visiting people after ward council

1:04:00 PPIs

 Links:

Interview with Arthur Boutin

FAIR Mormon

 

Being a newly called elders quorum president can be nerve-racking! So many things to organize and consider. Thankfully, Leading Saints is here to help. In this episode we have gathered experiences from current and former elders quorum presidents from around the world sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president. You will find their advice inspiring and practical.

Contribute Your Own WIWIK Experience

In an effort to help other elders quorum presidents to learn some quick leadership experience on day 1, we are organizing future podcast episodes that will feature many current and past elders quorum presidents sharing what they wish they knew before they were called as elders quorum president.

You will only have 5 minutes to record so write some thoughts on a paper and then record!

How to record:

* Click the green button below

* Answer the following question in less than 5 minutes:

* What do you wish you knew before you were elders quorum president?

* Start your answer with “Before I was elders quorum president I wish I knew…”

* Stop recording

* Listen to recording and record again if you would like

* Enter name and email

* Submit recording by clicking “send”

Episode Transcript

KURT: Hello and welcome to [00:00:30] the Leading Saints podcast. My name is Kurt Frankham. I'm the executive director of Leading Saints and also the host of the Leading Saints podcast. If you're new to Leading Saints I welcome you. We produce a regular podcast where we discuss topics that will help lay leaders in the LDS Church enhance their leadership ability and capacity. And we do that through various methods. One of those being we interview really smart and intelligent people who have experience in leadership whether in or outside the church, and we talk about strong leadership principles in the context of the LDS church. We [00:01:00] also have a segment called “How I Lead” where we interview everyday leaders and ask them how they go about their day to day, week to week responsibilities as a lay leader in the church. And what you're bound to hear is that we weak segment where we crowdsource the community of Leading Saints and ask them to finish the sentence, what I wish I knew when I was Elder's quorum President, when I was Bishop, Relief Society President, Young Men's President, Young Women's President whatever it is and in this episode, we focus on what I wish I knew before I was Elders Quorum President. Each voice you'll hear we've given them [00:01:30] five minutes or less to talk about what they wish they knew before they're called as Elder's quorum President. Thank you for all the support you show to Leading Saints. And now what I wish I knew before I was Elder's quorum President.

CALLER: My name is Adam Elsworth I'm currently an Elder's quorum President. I have been for about two years now. What I wish I knew before I was called or when I was called as an elders quorum president. It's a little bit of a challenging [00:02:00] question, so I feel like I had all the spiritual tools I needed to go to Heavenly Father and find out what my quorum needed and I already somehow, because I didn't have them had a strong sense that I shouldn't be having one on one interviews with my quorum members regularly. So we have done that and those have been very effective and very helpful for ministering in my quorum and to those we home teach. So I had those tools in place. But one thing that is maybe a little surprising or didn’t[00:02:30] suspect although it obvious  is that the more things that I can put on auto pilot, or better said the more things I can have pre scheduled that I don't have to go through the process of scheduling each month, the more effective I've been. So for example with my first elder’s quorum presidency my two counse...

A transcript of the interview is available below.

Terryl Givens, PhD, is a professor of literature and religion at the University of Richmond, a private liberal arts college. Baptized initially in the Presbyterian faith by his minister grandfather, Terryl and his family became LDS when Terryl was eight or nine; however, the family of nine became less active. Born in upstate New York and raised largely in the Southwestern U.S.A., when Terryl was sixteen the family relocated to Virginia from another state, having no immediate prospects for employment, friends or a home. Initially they lived in a tent. In Virginia the family was reactivated and Terryl experienced a personal spiritual reawakening. Although he set his sights on a wrestling scholarship at Yale, Terryl was always “bookish,” as he describes it. Following a successful church mission in Brazil he graduated from BYU, where he courted and married Fiona. After graduate work at Cornell he completed his graduate studies at UNC, Chapel Hill, by which time the Givens had five children. Dr. Givens’ scholastic work included a semester abroad in Vienna. Fiona has a graduate degree in history. Terryl has served as a bishop. Although he did not initially fancy himself an author, Dr. Givens has authored a dozen books, including some that have been co-authored with Fiona. He has a special interest in Mormon studies, history and culture. His podcasts are accessible through terrylgivens.com.

Episode Highlights

* 11:37 Unlikely journey to becoming an author…His father’s collection of 19th century anti-LDS literature…Impact of learning the Book of Mormon was the most widely produced book, other than Bible.

* 15:15 Books are no longer the primary vehicle for disseminating information…Desire to celebrate intellectual and theological richness of Mormonism…People struggling with their faith.

* 18:00 There is not one, “typical” Mormon testimony…Finding one’s own path in “coming to Christ.”

* 19:25 Called as bishop in Richmond the week of 9/11…Occupying a position with enormous ability to make a difference in people’s lives…Using the power of the mantle as an influence for good…Ministering to members and promoting member interaction.

* 23:00 Dealing with faith crises…The gift of empathy…Feeling the weight of their burdens and the texture of their cross…Bishops need to “feel,” not simply fix…Avoiding tendency to view others’ experiences through one’s personal lens regarding matters of faith and other personal struggles.

* 29:25 President M. Russell Ballard’s powerful statement to leaders: ‘bearing testimony is not the answer to every question’ from people experiencing doubt…Dealing with legitimate perplexities and apparent incongruities…Asking, “What’s at stake in that question?”…Some faith questions are based on false assumptions…Helping people navigate distractions by refocusing on what matters most.

* 35:10 As a leader, having courage to refer someone to a person with more expertise…Demonstrate validation…Be careful about trying to shut off sources of intellectual inquiry…Transparency.

* 38:15 “Criminalizing” doubt…Elder Hugh B. Brown’s comment about “apprenticeship in doubt” on path of discipleship…Can faith and uncertainty can co-exist?... “Help thou my unbelief.” Knowing vs believing…On being authentic as to what we know or feel…The culture of “certainty.”

* 44:52 Scriptural examples of individuals having faith without absolute knowledge…Scriptures appeal to both mind and heart…Saying “I don’t know” and learning together.

* 47:56 Asking “real” questions in adult Sunday school classes…Does everyone truly agree…Importance of truly spiritual gospel doctrine class teachers…Dealing with boredom in SS class.

* 52:00 Is there resistance to addressing questions head-on? In the long run,

Rachel Davis is a two-time Primary president and lives in Santa Clarita, California, with her husband and children. She was raised in the LDS Church as her family traveled internationally and around the United States for her father's work. She blogs at TheMormonHome.com where she posts resources for LDS families and Primary leaders.

Episode Highlights

* 3:00 Rachel's background and blogging experiences

* 9:15 How living internationally shaped her experience in the church

* 13:00 The bulletin board metaphor

* 14:30 Rachel's family story and development of her testimony

* 19:20 "Digging deep" in developing a testimony

* 22:50 Gay marriage issue in California and her family

* 24:40 Diversity of thought in a room

* 29:00 Primary presidency experience

* 32:30 How Rachel's Primary operates

* 39:40 Five Leadership Principles

* Stop trying to find someone to tell you No

* 42:10 Every time you start a program, think about how you're going to finish it (traditions are perilous)

* 44:10 Church is a volunteer organization, not a corporation

* 46:15 Be ready to apologize all the time

* 49:45 Practice spiritual self-care

* 54:10 Seeing the big picture with Primary children

Links

Microphone Rachel's ward uses in Primary

TheMormonHome.com

Photo Credit: BYU Photo

Chad Lewis is from Orem, Utah and walked on to played football for Brigham Young University from 1993 to 1996. After not being drafted into the NFL he walked on to play for the Philadelphia Eagles where he had a successful career as a 3-time pro-bowler. Now retired from football he works for the BYU Athletic department and continues to have a passion for BYU sports.

In this episode we talk about his personal development as a leader and how he found the grit and determination to succeed in a difficult sport when he was required to "walk-on" at every level. Chad describes what made his two famous coaches, LaVell Edwards and Andy Reid, incredible leaders and motivators.

Episode Highlights:

* Chad's background 4:00

* Chad's childhood and mission 6:00

* What advice will you give your children about serving a mission? 11:50

* How Chad decided to walk-on to BYU 13:30

* How to stay humble and confident on the football field 19:30

* How to attack each day and succeed as a competitor 22:00

* What Coach LaVell Edwards taught Chad about leadership 24:20

* How Coach Edwards showed love through leadership 27:00

* How to be a leader and not just a player 32:00

* How to motivate as a leader 35:00

* What Coach Andy Reid taught Chad about leadership 39:00

Links:

The Greatest Salesman in the World, by Og Mandino

Tom Brady's Book, The TB12 Method

Kurt Francom & Chad Lewis the day of the interview

Sahar Qumsiyeh is the author of Peace for a Palestinian: One Woman's Story of Faith amidst War in the Holy Land where she tells of her life as a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Palestine. In this interview we hear her story of converting to the LDS Church at Brigham Young University and then serving in church leadership positions when she returned to the Jerusalem Branch and also in Turkey during her graduate school. Sahar currently lives in Rexburg Idaho where she teaches Mathematics.

Episode Highlights

* 2:20 the development of her faith before joining the Church

* 4:20 What lead her to BYU

* 5:45 What she knew about Mormons before going to BYU

* 7:30 Her conversion story

* 9:30 The transition from Provo, Utah to Palestine as a member of the Church

* 12:15 Why going to Church was difficult for Sahar as a Palestinian

* 21:25 Sahar’s experience serving in the LDS Church in Turkey while she attended graduate school

* 23:15 Being in the Relief Society presidency in Turkey

* 28:00 Being called as Relief Society president in the Jerusalem Branch

* 29:30 What the Jerusalem Branch is like

* 34:00 The creation of the Bethlehem Branch

* 42:00 Serving as Primary President in the Bethlehem Branch

* 47:00 Leadership principles learned as a leader in the LDS Church

Links:

Buy Sahar's book

Kurt Francom from Leading Saints with Sahar Qumsiyeh during the interview

Interview Transcript

Kurt Francom (LS): Today I'm sitting down in downtown Salt Lake at the [00:03:30] Deseret Book headquarters with Sahar Qumsiyeh. How are you Sahar?

Sahar:  I'm doing good thank you.

LS: Awesome. Now you are not from Salt Lake. You were from the other side of the globe.

Sahar: Yeah.

LS: When people  ask you where you're from what do you tell them?

Sahar:  Palestine.

LS: Nice, And is there specific city?

Sahar:  I tell them I'm from Biet Sahour but a lot of people don't know Biet Sahour but it's right next to Bethlehem is about a five minute walk from the Church of Nativity where the Savior was born so its just down the hill.

LS: I've heard of Bethlehem [00:04:00] this is good. You're born in Jerusalem right? The reason we were together is you recently wrote a book about being a Latter-day saint in Palestine.  Obviously there's a story behind this but what led to this book actually coming to reality?

Sahar:  Well actually it started out by a very simple Relief Society Project where they encouraged us to write our personal history and I decided I'm going to write my life story. And I did. And I kept adding to it.[00:04:30] As time went by and then one of my friends is like well why don't you publish this. This is interesting because I was sending her my weekly e-mails about sneaking in to get to church and all the difficulties I was facing. She's like you have an interesting life.  You should publish this. People could be interested in my life? So I changed the format a little bit and made it look like something kind of inspirational and kind of topic base. So it's not a biography format.

LS: [00:05:00] Here it is, nice!  There is a few things I want to talk about. Obviously it's interesting you've served as early Rel...

Kimber Uluave is a three-time Young Women president (different stakes) who resides in Washington, Utah, near St. George. Born and raised in Cedar City, Utah, she met her husband-to-be, Kivalu , while they were students at Southern Utah University. A Provo native, Kivalu  played football for SUU. The two coincidentally met again while at the MTC. Kimber served in the California San Jose Mission, while Kivalu  served in the Japan Tokyo South Mission. Following their respective missions they reconnected, courted, married and now have three children. Kimber has also served as a gospel doctrine teacher and in a relief society presidency.

8:00 Feelings of inadequacy in leading 42, mostly active young women; different wards—different dynamics; developing deep and profound relationships; listen to spiritual promptings and seek to avoid regrets about your service.

15:00 “I am called of God; my authority is above that of the kings of the earth.” Lord will magnify us if we rise to the occasion. Be courageous; testify; allow your children to see your example of faithful service.

19:30 Helping young women move past tension and competition can restore the spirit of the overall group. Asking an inspired, bold question led to forgiveness and reconciliation. Either allow the Lord to magnify the positives or deal with having the adversary magnify the negatives. Don’t lead by shaming. Getting past the cliché of “just love them.” Inviting people to take action. A relationship based on trust and love makes it easier to extend bold invitation to improve. Contagious love.

5 Key Leadership Principles

* 29:15 Ministering: We’ve been given the mantle and responsibility and the tools to know what the YW need. Getting to know them on their “turf.” Is the use of social media a help or a hindrance in dealing with young women?

* 32:02 See and love the youth as the Savior does: We stand in His place and He wants them to be taught leadership and motherhood skills. Being the Lord’s instrument and mouthpiece. Approaching those who are resistant.

* 33:53 Know the mantle of the calling: Inspiration is available. The Lord fills in the gaps. The “law of compensation.” Witnessing miracles.

* 36:41 Seek revelation and be in tune to the promptings of the Holy Ghost: Many need us and are on their needs asking for help. Be in tune to know what God wants you to do to respond to their prayers.

* 39:31 Magnify the Lord’s love in all our efforts: He will magnify you in your calling and that magnifying component can last long after your official efforts/calling have ended.

* 41:50 Let the girls be leaders and offer ideas that will change their lives: Excellent example of young women, with the relief society’s assistance, deepening relationships and fulfilling a Personal Progress requirement through a group quilting project.

Concluding Thought on Discipleship

43:36 How has being a leader helped you to be a better follower and disciple of Jesus Christ? Kimber’s response: In this life we can represent our Savior and say the things He would say and do if He were here. I have seen my joy magnified in every aspect of my life. The joy in our home luminates because of service. It is a gift to have the privilege and ability to serve.

John Stoker currently lives in Springville, Utah and is the President and CEO of DialogueWORKS. John earned a masters degree in Organizational Behavior at Brigham Young University and has had an exciting career. His career has taken him all over the country and he even went back to Law school and practiced as a criminal defense attorney. DialogueWORKS helps leaders to develop communication and thinking skills that will help them be more effective with the people that they manage in the organizations that they lead. They help businesses to shift their paradigm by teaching courses on communication, leadership development, or emotional intelligence and critical thinking. In short, they help leaders get out of their "stinking thinking” by helping them achieve results, build relationships, and create respect. John is also the author of Overcoming Fake Talk.

Episode Summary

* Served as a Bishop at BYU 2:50

* “What should I do with this person, having a difficult conversation” 5:08

* Worry/avoid the conversation and when they do have it they don’t do it well

* Avoid and compound the problem

* Handling poor performance 7:40

* Address the the issue one-on-one not with the whole team

* 4 Steps in having a difficult conversation 12:00

* 1st Step Initiate: Starting the conversation

* Identify the intent for holding the conversation. What do you want to happen?

* Create an Attention Check “Can we talk?” 12:43

* Share data that you have or are experiencing and interoperation of the data. “I noticed…I’m wondering, thinking, or believing…”

* Start with data and then share your perspective 14:25

* 2nd Step Discovery: Ask as many questions that you can 17:05

* Confirming Question:

* Have I or Is it accurate?

* Learning question:

* What’s going on?

* Write down questions:

* What do I not know?

* What do I need to know?

* 3rd Step Connect: 30:32

* Summarize their perspective first, then add yours. “If I understand correctly… Does that make sense?"

* Share your expectations & natural consequences

* 4th Step Build: 38:00 Create Accountability

* Build Plan: It needs to be their solution

* What have you tried? What has worked? What hasn’t worked?

* Get commitment to plan

* Will you do this? Connects to motivation

* Can you do this? Connects to ability

* Is there anything you need from me? Connects to support

* The answers to these questions become the facts for the next conversation. “Last month when we talked you said…”

* Read the persons reaction to check their commitment level

* General encouragement for leaders 45:40

* Prepare: Sit down, think about the person and the context

* Don’t judge: Learn to suspend judgement and realize we don’t know as much as we think

* Ask more questions.

* Listen

Don Adams is the CEO of Bear River Mutual in Utah. He was born and raised on a farm in southeast Idaho and served in the military before graduating from Brigham Young University and becoming an elementary school teacher. In 1974 he began working in the insurance industry and has continued doing so ever since. He served a mission to the Central States mission and has served in various church leadership callings, including as a Bishop. In this podcast, Kurt talks with Brother Adams about the experiences he has had in church and business leadership positions and how specific principles can apply to both.

Episode Highlights

* (9:40) How do you create and transfer passion?

* If done correctly, it's a noble cause if you treat people well

* (17:45) The importance of being an example as a teacher

* Think through the process and who your audience is.

* Establish a relationship with your audience.

* Help audience to feel comfortable with you establishes a "safe zone" where audience is more likely to listen.

* (21:00) Establishing rapport with someone.

* Taking the time to get to know them.

* "go where they go"

* Good questions to ask to help someone open up.

* Quit talking and let them talk.

* (27:20) Effective youth interviews

* Limit quantity of questions and keep them open-ended.

* If they're not responding, don't make a big deal about it.

* (35:15) How can you get "an honest day's work" from individuals in church callings?

* (39:30) Teaching others to become leaders

* "Are you prepared to allow them to fail?"

Leadership Principles

* (31:30) Principle #1: Your attitude sets the tone.

* (43:45) Principle #2: Don't be afraid to fail.

* (49:00) Principle #3: Continue to learn.

* (57:15) Principle #4: Live by your values and principle

Kari Ferguson is a wife, mother, BYU graduate, returned missionary, author and experienced local church leader, presently serving as a relief society president. She has also suffered for many years from obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and anxiety. Kari and Jamund, her husband of nine years, reside in Vancouver, Washington and are the parents of two children. Kari can also be found on LDS Living and The Mighty. Her newest book is The OCD Mormon: Finding Healing and Hope in the Midst of Anxiety. Following is a summary of their podcast interview in which Kari and Jamund discuss symptoms of OCD and its debilitating effects. Suggestions are offered as to how LDS leaders can exhibit sensitivity, and help OCD sufferers in their flock in ways that do not marginalize them or trivialize their condition. Many people with OCD and acute anxiety are very capable of rendering high-quality service in the ward, but it helps to understand what they are up against. The interview concludes with a description of a planned March 3, 2018 conference devoted to OCD/anxiety disorders among church members. It will be held in the Joseph Smith Memorial Building.

Episode Highlights

* 4:35—What prompted Kari to write her new book, as a follow-up to an earlier book and her blogsite: https://www.theocdmormon.com.

* 6:15—Jamund describes meeting Kari and relates his own family background dealing with a parent’s bi-polar disorder, making him more sensitive to the needs of someone with Kari’s condition.

* 8:08—Kari’s symptoms described; previous issues while serving as primary president; being supported by her husband; being called as relief society president by a bishop who became aware of her condition; learning to delegate; not comparing oneself to the last person who occupied the same position/calling.

* 12:13—Dealing with the stigma; more symptoms described (hoarding, fear of contamination, hit-and-run fears, tapping, etc.). OCD sufferers tend to hide it with facades, and too many are not getting needed help.

* 15:04—Knowing when professional intervention is required; living a balanced and healthy life; constant need for reassurance; obsessing over repentance; leaders can recommend professional help without giving offense; missing work and losing sleep; getting “sick” at last minute to avoid social situations; avoiding shopping for fear of contamination.

* 20:26—The big decision for Kari to seek professional counseling; feeling like a failure; the challenge of finding the “right” therapist.

* 22:25—Medicine, therapy or both? Changing behavior vs masking it; developing coping skills; perfectionism.

* 25:04—Is the root cause of a person’s OCD irrelevant? OCD can steal your life; cognitive-behavior therapy; international OCD website; retraining the brain; church leader empathy alone is likely not sufficient to help a person overcome acute OCD.

* 29:00—Religious scrupulosity/perfectionism; LDS Family Services or another path for intervention? Spousal support.

* 33:00—Healing and coping will often require more than reading scriptures, praying more often and attending the temple. Connection between mental and spiritual; leaders should avoid tendency towards on-the-spot diagnosis. Leader listening skills paramount.

* 40:00— Decreasing the stigma and creating a culture/climate where it can be discussed in a healthy way at the ward level. Reference to an apostle who dealt with some mental health issues.

* 45:23—Just how capable are people with OCD—can they serve in leadership capacity? Allowing for flexibility in how things are done.

* 52:45—If you are a sufferer, set realistic expectations for yourself; essential vs. non-essential decisions. Kari’s envelope-licking issue.