What do you do when you need to fall apart… but there’s no one there to hold you?

This Support Snippet is me sitting with that exact question — and remembering what emotional care looked like back when I didn’t have to ask for it

I’m reflecting on what emotional care looked like before life got complicated — and what it means to create that kind of care for yourself now.

I’m taking you back to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches made with intention, quiet afternoons that felt like exhaling, and the kind of support that didn’t require me to be okay first. No fixing. No pressure. Just presence.

These days, I’m the one everyone leans on — and maybe you are too. So I’m also naming what it feels like to carry that weight quietly, especially as a Black woman, and what it means to admit you still need to be held.

If you’ve been moving through your days on autopilot, missing the kind of care you didn’t have to ask for, this episode is for you.

Because emotional care for Black women isn’t optional. It’s necessary.And we shouldn’t have to hold it all in just because nobody’s offering to hold us.

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Shirl is the creator of Support Languages™ and host of Shades of Strong® — a movement shifting the narrative from Strong Black Woman to Supported Black Woman™ through language, rest, and real support.