The Mind-Body Couple

Let Them: The Chronic Pain & Illness Edition


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The struggle for control lies at the heart of many chronic pain conditions—but what if letting go could offer more relief than fighting ever could? 

When faced with persistent symptoms, our natural instinct pushes us to fight, fix, and control. We've been conditioned to believe that addressing physical problems means actively engaging with them, finding their cause, and eliminating them through sheer determination. Yet for those with neuroplastic pain and symptoms, this approach often backfires, creating a feedback loop of frustration, fear, and worsening symptoms.

Drawing on Mel Robbins' powerful "Let Them" concept, we explore the counterintuitive approach of acceptance and allowing that can transform your relationship with chronic symptoms. This isn't about resignation—it's about recognizing what you genuinely can and cannot control. As Mel wisely states, "Focusing on what you can't control makes you stressed. Focusing on what you can control makes you feel powerful."

Tanner shares a deeply personal story of his longest pain flare after initial recovery, describing how weeks of attempting to control and fix his symptoms led nowhere. The breakthrough came only when he genuinely surrendered the fight, creating space for his nervous system to regulate and his symptoms to naturally subside. This powerful example demonstrates how our attitude toward symptoms can be more influential than any specific technique or practice.

Rather than fighting against pain and illness, we invite you to explore embodiment practices with curiosity and compassion, shift your focus toward meaningful activities aligned with your values, and remind yourself that your body is fundamentally safe and healthy. These approaches create the platform of safety from which true healing can emerge.

Ready to transform your relationship with chronic symptoms? Download our free embodiment practice using the link below, or explore our comprehensive digital course featuring over 60 somatic practices and brain retraining techniques designed to support your healing journey.

Embodiment Practice for Chronic Pain & Illness: https://youtu.be/FuE_XMbWEh4

Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson are therapists who treat neuroplastic pain and mind-body symptoms. They are also married! In his 20s, Tanner overcame chronic pain and a fibromyalgia diagnosis by learning his symptoms were occurring due to learned brain pathways and nervous system dysregulation. Post-healing, Tanner and Anne have dedicated their lives to developing effective treatment and education for neuroplastic pain and symptoms. Listen and learn how to assess your own chronic pain and symptoms, gain tools to retrain the brain and nervous system, and make gradual changes in your life and health!


The Mind-Body Couple podcast is owned by Pain Psychotherapy Canada Inc. This podcast is produced by Alex Klassen, who is one of the wonderful therapists at our agency in Calgary, Alberta. https://www.painpsychotherapy.ca/


Tanner, Anne, and Alex also run the MBody Community, which is an in-depth online course that provides step-by-step guidance for assessing, treating, and resolving mind-body pain and symptoms. https://www.mbodycommunity.com


Also check out Tanner's YouTube channel for more free education and practices: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC-Fl6WaFHnh4ponuexaMbFQ


And follow us for daily education posts on Instagram: @painpsychotherapy


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The Mind-Body CoupleBy Tanner Murtagh and Anne Hampson

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