Life in Relationship

Question: What can nature teach us about boundaries?

Research around boundaries in nature and psychology

• Info + application

• Phase of research at present

• Pleasing and purpose (the symphony of nature)

Order and chaos in the natural world

• With human interaction

• Without human interaction

• Examples of order and chaos in nature

What is our relationship with nature?

• Consider the seasons

• The impact and awareness of comfort

• DBT wise mind skill

• Ease v. easy

God's relationship with the Natural World

• Song of Songs, Ecclesiastes, Job

• The natural world as container with boundaries

Question: We know kids need outside time; but does nature benefit children's mental health?

Tip 1 - environment matters

• Consider your space for work or learning

• Note your time needs in nature or working, etc - aka how does the environment around you change or impact your mindset individually

• Note the differing energies of different environments

Tip 2 - spark creativity in Creation

• Kids as creatures of creativity

• Nature's boundaries but also freedom

• Nature teaches so we don't have to or teaches in a softer way at times

• The value of options and even a bit of chaos

Tip 3 - try a forest walk with your kids or your inner child

Find a forest therapy guide: https://anft.earth/listings/

Tip 4 - Research around concentration or mind functioning and the natural world

Concentration - better academics, Attention span,self control, executive function areas nurtured without evaluation (balm for busy brain = attention restoration theory)

Cooperation - stewardship mindset + relational and respect skills

Increased creativity - artistic and problem solving mindset

Growth mindset in challenges - resilient mindset

Mood booster + meaning booster

References:

https://www.acamh.org/blog/exploring-the-role-of-nature-in-childhood-development-and-mental-health/#:~:text=In%20this%20blog%20post%2C%20we%20dive%20into,serve%20as%20a%20catalyst%20for%20healthy%20growth.

https://www.apa.org/monitor/2020/04/nurtured-nature

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10970260/

Question: How do I start healing from Spiritual Trauma?

1 - recognize both Big T & Little t trauma

2 - the Body does keep the score

• The nervous system activation and return to baseline

• The impact of energy and recovery

• The place of awareness in healing

• Somatic therapy treatment for trauma

• The mystery of nature and healing the body

• Time elements of trauma healing

• Trauma and "marks of significance"

3 - what are aces and protective factors

Nature and trauma handouts from Children and Nature Network:

https://eadn-wc04-796033.nxedge.io/wp-content/uploads/C_NN_CFP_pathway_22-4-6.pdf

https://eadn-wc04-796033.nxedge.io/wp-content/uploads/C_NN_CFP_pathway_22-4-6.pdf

4 - spiritual trauma and rest in nature

• Nature as God's arms around us, holding us

More at:

heidigoehmann.com

Substack: https://substack.com/@heidigoehmann

Instagram: instagram.com/heidigoehmann

Question: What skills can nature teach us about life transition and change?

Transitions come with stress

• Attending to the transition, noticing the energy and tasks required

• Various emotions of transition

• Nature as an intentional place to "escape" to

Tip #1 - any time in nature is valuable

Tip #2 - nature reminds us every thing happens in its time

• notice the transitions in nature itself to validate your own

• Widen the lens - notice the steady cycle around the changes all around us

• allow the time of a transition, nature allows the slowness of transitions

• Job and Song of Songs

Tip # 3 - Look to Nature for Comfort

• Nature as therapist

• Build a trustworthy relationship with nature (and with God)

• Release of control

• Learning by experiencing and presence instead of cognition

Tip #4 - Take a Mindfulness Break

• Unconscious and conscious integrating for growing awareness

• Scripture examples in Song of Songs and Job

Colorado State U transition handout - https://extension.colostate.edu/docs/pubs/consumer/10214.pdf

Tip #5 - Reflect and Let God Tend to You

Resources -

Life is in the Transitions book - https://a.co/d/8LB7Lha

Links to research

• https://silvotherapy.co.uk/articles/mental-wellbeing-nature-connection

• https://health.ucdavis.edu/blog/cultivating-health/3-ways-getting-outside-into-nature-helps-improve-your-health/2023/05#:~:text=1.,answers%20you%20were%20looking%20for.

• https://www.johnmuirtrust.org/resources/788-wild-and-well-nature-connection-wellbeing-and-meaning-in-life

• https://www.nature.com/articles/nphys898#:~:text=The%20most%20familiar%20examples%20of,melting%20on%20a%20warm%20hand.

Question: How does nature help with regulation and balance?

Dave's forest therapy training - https://anft.earth/

Emotion Regulation tip #1 - let things be complicated

• Science and mystery

• Concrete concepts around ourselves and our bodies as well as spiritual or less concrete concepts around ourselves

Emotion Regulation tip #2 - we regulate when we provide a space

• For each other (co-regulation)

• For ourselves (self-regulation)

• We are a part of nature and regulate within nature.

• We are constantly in a process of shedding and restoring.

• God designed us with internal and externally connected regulation methods.

Emotion Regulation tip #3 - getting out of our own way of regulating

• How do we accidentally get in the way of regulating naturally?

• Origins of forest therapy with the advent of tech/media

• Benefits of the natural world on our cardiovascular system

Emotion Regulation tip #4 -find the blue spaces and the green spaces

• 3 specific outlined mechanisms for emotion regulation in nature:

foster positive emotions

Signals parasympathetic nervous system or rest/wellbeing state

connection and care of nature as respite, rebuilds energy

Emotion Regulation tip #5 - practice grounding

• Finding a sense in our body that we have a firm foundation, tethered to the ground or our seat

• Often feel "ungrounded" in chaotic world and holding 3-5 emotions at any given time

• Increasing vagal tone

Links:

ANFT website - https://anft.earth/

Enoch story (Genesis 5)

Noah Kahan, Stick Season - https://youtu.be/iWG6apzIWAk?si=EBS0Ll7biACsxNob

Inside Out - https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2096673/

Job 38-42

Research:

https://greatergood.berkeley.edu/article/item/why_trees_can_make_you_happier#:~:text=Those%20who%20gazed%20at%20a,break%20from%20our%20frenzied%20lifestyles.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0272494424000987#:~:text=In%20everyday%20life%2C%20people%20are,et%20al.%2C%202019).

Question: How do I let go of things I can't control?

A Dave and Heidi story: the cynical season or "life on the edge" and our first forest therapy attempt

• Learning to let go of the outcome

Letting Go Tip #1 - Find a practice of noticing what we don't control or can't control

• Example: stand in the woods or the yard and note the basic elements of nature around you that you can't control

Letting Go Tip #2 - Read Job chapters 38-42

• The duality of meaningfulness and meaninglessness

• The duality of Challenge and acceptance

• "Job's in scripture because his life was hard, not because he was doing really well at it."

• When it feels like God is jacking around with you, building the trust

Letting Go Tip #3 - Finding non-judgment in nature and God

• Nature can hold and contain our challenges

• Psalm 51 - here's my heart, insight in truth and love

• Notice what confusion is present and bring it to God

Letting Go Tip #4 - Note the cost of control

Top three psychological impacts of tightly holding onto control -

Stress and anxiety

Relationship impact

Challenges with resilience based on adaptability

Letting Go Tip #4 - Try out an Ecclesiastical Mindset

• Seasonal approach to living

• What is it "a time for" right now, but also letting a new season come

• Ecclesiastes 3 link: https://www.bible.com/bible/111/ECC.3.1-11.NIV

• Open your hands to share it, don't go it alone

Welcome to Season 7 of our little podcast!

Dave and I are looking forward to a season of talking about three of our very favorite things comingled...well, four really - life in relationships, mental health, the natural world, and spirituality.

Some topics and questions you'll find in the conversation this season include:

How does nature help with emotion regulation?

How do I let go of things I can't control?

What skills can nature teach us about life transition and change?

How do I start healing from Spiritual Trauma?

And more...

Look for 7 episodes wherever you get your podcasts.

Look for articles and more resources at heidigoehmann.com to complement what you hear.

Find Heidi and Dave (mostly Heidi) on

instagram - https://www.instagram.com/heidigoehmann/

substack - https://substack.com/@heidigoehmann

youtube - https://www.youtube.com/heidigoehmannwrites

and other media outlets.

See you soon!

Relationships - always worth the effort. We can't wait to be in discussion with you in the coming weeks.

Special guest Chris Kennedy, Pastor and Author

Chris's book, Grace Under Pressure - https://amzn.to/3FBrdU2 (associate link)

Proactive v reactive approach

Proactive = investing in taking care of ourselves, our emotions, our whole selves to be able to live in the moment more authentically as ourselves and in what we value/believe

Reactive = awareness of emotion when it comes up

Tip 1 - Attend to and nurture

The environment

Relationships

Internal needs

Growth mindset – realist outlook + everything is redeemable

Tip 2 – Hold the tension of love with your frustration or anger

Tip 3 – Remember "more than they deserve"

Tip 4 – Non-judgment – grace and truth with the understanding that God is judge, not me

Tip 5 – Notice other people

Tip 6 – values and faith as driver, emotion as information to process

Shame

Tip 7 – careful of pouring yourself out to the last drop, we are human

The impact of shame and guilt on our internal processing of anger

"Holding It Lightly" from dialectical behavior therapy

The purpose of frustration and anger

How do I find more happiness?

Happiness is a momentary emotion, as all emotions are, time oriented, even as a mood

Tip 1 - Look for happy moments, not a vague ongoing experience

Defining – emotion related to joy, gladness, satisfaction, or wellbeing

Related to confidence or satisfaction with a moment, a person, a situation

Tip 2 – avoid all or nothing thinking

Allow and acknowledge several emotions in your system at one time

Value all the emotions

Tip 3 – We're ok v. Yay!

Positive psych and researching the experience of happiness

Hedonia and eudaimonia – pleasure v meaning

Markers of happiness = relationships, purpose, meaning/gratitude/mindfulness, physical health

Tip 4 – Don't force it

Tip 5 – Know your values to find your eudaimonia happiness

Purpose and pleasure, skill and fulfillment

DBT values word list available to subscribers at heidigoehmann.com in December

Research:

https://positivepsychology.com/predictors-of-happiness/

Waterman, A. S. (2013). Eudaimonia: Contrasting two conceptions of happiness: Hedonia and eudaimonia. In J. J. Froh & A. C. Parks (Eds.), Activities for teaching positive psychology: A guide for instructors (pp. 29–34). American Psychological Association. https://doi.org/10.1037/14042-005

Huta, V., Waterman, A.S. Eudaimonia and Its Distinction from Hedonia: Developing a Classification and Terminology for Understanding Conceptual and Operational Definitions. J Happiness Stud 15, 1425–1456 (2014). https://doi.org/10.1007/s10902-013-9485-0

How do I tell the difference between my anxiety and my child's?

Attachment relationships are more connected for regulation

The value of presence

The detriment of sponging emotion

Tip #1 – adults can bring the emotions to consciousness for kids

Notice and name the emotion in the room

Also helps us differentiate between my emotion and someone else

Tip #2 – go out into nature/Creation to release some emotion

Link to forest therapy info: https://www.natureandforesttherapy.earth/

Tip #3 – know your own "stuff" (triggers, concerns, traumas)

Tip #4 – do not assume an emotion, ask about an emotion

Tip #5 – Be aware of triggers with no shame

Practice accountability with kindness

"I am uncomfortable. I want to hear what you have to say. I want to know what's going on with you. The way it's coming out is challenging for me."

Tip #6 – hold the duality of parental responsibility with deep parental love and connection

Common questions: will they be ok? Will I mess them up? What am I missing?

Give yourself space to learn and grow

Try to help kids be unburdened by adult problems

Tip # 7 – Maintain your connection with God

Pouring out your emotions with God

Resting with God

Rhythms of prayer as emotionally regulating

Hear God speaking to your emotions as a Gospel-oriented, invitation-to-relationship God