LOST IN THE LABELS

Are you #strong-willed, unwilling to bend, move, negotiate or compromise? 

Does it benefit you? The answer to this question is IT, meaning this label, probably does. You will likely find that you "get" your way more times than not and you may have even learned tools to move people more and more your way over time. You may also be called #stubborn, unwavering, unwilling, narcissistic, gaslighting, manipulative and MANY other things. You may feel a continued and rewarding sense of control that helps you feel safe and secure. Though you may care deeply about the people around you, you may also not trust completely that those people will keep you as safe and you can keep yourself.

You might also recognize a pattern of people moving away from you as they begin to recognize that they "don't matter" to you, that they aren't getting their needs met or as they realize their deep dissatisfaction with you in your relationship. 

You may even have an attitude that thinks, "good riddance", as they leave your life and abandon your friendship or relationship. 

If you are a 10 out of 10 in strong-willed nature it's likely hurting you deeply but you also may feel too afraid to pull back and give other people a voice in your life. This is often rooted in a weakened state of self-worth as you are making every attempt to have control over your life and identity. 

If you have questions about today's episode email me at [email protected] 

#agreeable is 

• 1. enjoyable and pleasurable; pleasant
• 2. willing to agree to something

These definitions seem SO innocent. How in the word could they be seen as a bad thing? Have you ever heard someone say too much of a good thing isn't a good thing?! To be too-agreeable could lead to a system of people-pleasing or self-sacrificing. Today's episode will give you a fresh, unique perspective on this behavior or personality trait and how it may be showing up in your life. 

Do you think that being #agreeable is a positive, negative or both?

Do you think that you are #agreeable?

Does your agreeable nature often get labeled as #people-pleasing?

I'd love to hear from you, if you feel inclined to share a small part of your story with me email me at [email protected]

Cheering for you,

Bee

#people-pleasers are generally agreeable, compliant, willing, accommodating, complacent, obliging, accepting, etc. You may have an idea of some additional personality traits or behaviors that contribute to your self-proclaimed label of people-pleasing. People often will be attracted to you because of your habit or system of self-sacrificing in the name of serving or pleasing others. We can easily find ourselves surrounded by #takers, #narcissists, #bullies, #dominant people or a number of other "types" that we may not want to be IN relationship with. 

In fact, sometimes those "types" are the very individuals who created the #people-pleasing tendency in us. If we aren't agreeable to their demands then we are "in trouble" or "criticized". People-pleasing becomes a HUGE part of our identity AND the way that our typical relationships function. 

Did you know that if you are a #people-pleaser you are also likely suffering. You're feeling angry, resentful, frustrated, self-conscious, over-sympathetic or over-responsible. Unfortunately, pleasing others rarely actually serves us to the extent in which our needs are actually met. This can leave us yearning for more, accepting breadcrumbs from others and incredibly depleted and deprived of the basic things that we "think" will bring us joy. Why do I say "think"?! Because oftentimes when there's a system of people-pleasing we aren't even aware of what needs we have or how to begin expressing them. 

If you enjoyed this episode today, please shoot me an email at [email protected]

What do you get when you take a successful director in the medical industry turned multi-faceted business strategy specialist and a partner in a highly successful mortgage company turned speaker, executive coach and leadership guru together?! (WOW, that's hard to imagine, isn't it?) 

You get COLLABORATION that's off the charts. My special guests today share their individual stories that are rooted in success, with the relatable realization that something was missing, only to discover career paths that were much more rewarding and enjoyable for each of them. Once they landed in their new roles and talked about the deep struggles that people go through in the re-building process, they decided to lean into the component that their friendship was built on. #COLLABORATION!

Haley Westfall and Stephanie Hendrick added yet another business venture to their portfolios when they created Collab Culture, a community for women that is different and better than what is currently being offered. After pulling themselves out of their own, "yoga position, downward spiral," they are now using their skills to help the women in their community do the same. 

This episode is an inspiration to me as I relate SO much to the stories they share and the struggles that lie in them. If you are in the middle of a major life transition or wanting more for your life give this episode a listen. 

You can learn more about Collab Culture HERE and check them out on Instagram HERE. 

As always, email me at [email protected] with questions or comments about the show or how to get connected with The EMBLDN Community.

If you are craving a connected, encouraging community that actually supports you in your healing or goals email me at [email protected] for information to join the EMBLDN community. 

People often want to know how I crumbled to a place of zero self worth and deep rooted insecurity. The simple answer is that I cared too much what the WRONG people thought about me. The complex answer is that my human spirit is sensitive and I'm deeply impacted by disconnection and relationship breakdown. This kept me hanging on dearly to the people in my life who I knew needed to be loved the most. Guru's would call me a people pleaser or a master of self-sacrifice. Somehow, my greatest gift was turned into another negative after years of allowing people to knock me down, shoot arrows at me and make me feel like a nothing.

The MOST important part of what I said above is that I WAS ALLOWING IT. In fact, in most cases, I was inviting it. Choosing to surround myself with people who needed love and healing but weren't very kind to me in return. 

Old habits or personality traits aren't reconfigured overnight, we need to have a deep desire to change and really learn the art of showing up differently until we have mastered proper boundaries and new expectations for ourselves and our lives. So coming off of the holiday season, I can honestly say that my self worth is sore. 

Bad news... is that I spend too much time remembering how self conscious I was when my self worth was a size ZERO. 

Good news... I've mastered the tools and techniques to pull myself back to the moment and let go of the girl who allowed everyone to kick them when she was down. 

Is your self-worth sore today?

email me at [email protected] today to achieve a deeper sense of self worth in 2023!!

Oh boy, I LOVE the holidays... and... I get a LOT of messages and calls that are full of frustration, sadness, disappointment and many more negative emotions. It's HARD to spend time with people that you love who also cause you to WISH things were different. Many of you describe feeling unseen, unheard or not valued by members of your immediate or extended family. Even sometimes describing a family member who is so needy that the rest of you don't have the space to show up as you. It doesn't really matter what your particular circumstances are, if you're wishing that something in your life would change, you're likely on this loop and can't seem to get off. 

"I wish my husband liked to do the same things that I do."

"I wish my daughter would speak to me."

"I wish my wife wouldn't worry so much about bad things happening."

"I wish I could quit my thankless job and fish all day."

Wishing is really a want...

Once it turns to a want, it will begin to turn to a need...

Needing a change will result in yearning...

Yearning is a feeling of intense longing for something...

That yearning will further your wishing for the change you desire. 

This loop lacks action and showing up differently. You feel that you shouldn't have to show up differently because it is others who are keeping you stuck in this loop but you're the only control you have to change the situation or circumstance.

If you're interested in a live podcast episode about wishing, wanting, needing or yearning email me at [email protected] 

When I released the first part of this episode, I couldn't help but remember the letter that I wrote to my children when my mentor, Ed Beard, asked me to do this exercise. I immediately started searching the house for the journals that I keep, the magical place that I write to my kids. I don't write as often as I would like to but I opened those journals to the VERY first entries I made. 

In this episode, I read you the letter I wrote my son and daughter. I wanted to read it to you first but I get choked up when I do because the most beautiful thing was realized. The very things that I wrote to them in the future, the future without conflict or anguish is here. Every bit of chaos and frustration that was happening in our lives at that time has resolved and our lives are so harmonious now. Both kids are doing so well and have grown out of that season of struggle. 

Today's episode is vulnerable but it's so important that you understand that if you are in a season of struggle right now, you won't be there forever.

If this episode prompted you to write a letter to yourself a year from today and you feel compelled to share it with me, I'd love to read it on the podcast (anonymously of course). 

Email me at [email protected]

My special guest today was hired by a woman who thought she was AMAZING!

She worked hard, learned quickly and in record speed, became this woman's peer. At this point they were working at the same level and suddenly her former mentor and boss became a #karen. She began to compete with my guest, putting her down at every opportunity and dismissing her ideas as useless and dumb. Shortly after that, my guest became #karens boss as she advanced to the level above her. 

My guest was climbing the corporate ladder at record speed and the only thing slowing her down was... 

#KAREN!

Well that's actually not true because though #karen was full of conflict, resistance and negative labels towards my guest, she is not actually the one who was holding her down. 

My guest was the one who was willing to pick up the negative tags left behind by #karen. She had become her own bully, losing more time and energy combating the broken belief system that #karen had left her and less time on her growth and development as a person and as a leader.

This episode is worth its weight in GOLD as my guest describes how she learned to tear out the tags that were holding her back. She's inspiring, action-taking, and unstoppable now that she has overcome those initial labels that were threatening to block her in her career. 

With C(blank)O dreams, she is sure to achieve everything she dreams of. 

If you have an anonymous story to share of overcoming labels, being held back by tags or having someone in your life be insistent of lowering your self worth, email me at [email protected] 

This week I went to the post office to mail Christmas gifts to people I LOVE and I was told to leave the package in a mountain of packages that had been pre-postmarked. It was like leaving hundreds of dollars on the floor in a strange place and hoping that nobody else would pick them up and enjoy them for themselves. I couldn't help but wonder if the packages would actually get to where I sent them. Then I started thinking about the adventures that each of these packages had in front of them. Where did they come from? Who are the people that sent them? How many stories went into the ideas for these gifts? How were the shipper and receiver connected? Why is this loved one so far away from the sender? 

The list of questions goes on and on and on. 

It's so difficult to start or continue on a personal development journey because you have no idea where you're going or how long it will take you to get there. You ask yourself a number of similar questions. Will I like who I become? Will I feel distant from my family and friends? Will I be accepted and encouraged to make healthy changes? 

I have a fun exercise for you to do at the end of this podcast episode. If you decide to write yourself a letter to who you will become a year from today and you feel compelled to share it with me. Please email it to [email protected]

Also include if I have your permission to share it on the podcast.