LOVE IS FEARLESS

Scott Morrison was an anomaly to me (Janet) when I first met him--about 5 years ago. In some ways, he still is. He is kind, but he has boundaries. He is wise, and he is tender and helpful. He has a weird sense of humor that invites me to laugh, especially in those moments I need to be reminded just to breathe.

We invited Scott to record this episode with us because we're talking about the transforming power of INTEGRITY. He's the best man to join us for this conversation. And, here's my bet: You're going to want to write down some of his words to look at again later. We did!

We can't build a culture of love without integrity. And I can only act with integrity when I am sure I am loved. Together, there is great hope.

Thank you for joining us, Scott--and for leaving us with these TAKE AWAYS:

• An internal heart definition of INTEGRITY is: "I am sound and whole and consistent--continuously. I don't have to be different from one person to another."
• Think of integrity not as a standard--but as a thermometer. Ask yourself: What is going on inside that produces this reaction today?
• We struggle with integrity when we are insecure. Ask yourself and trusted others: What lies am I believing that make me insecure today?

Find out more about Trueface by visiting their website. https://trueface.org/

In a performance-obsessed culture, we learn to hide our mistakes. We defend our perspectives--not because we're always right, but because we're afraid of the penalty that comes with being wrong.

In a culture of love, we build relationships of trust and value the truth that others offer us that we don't yet see for ourselves. We change our minds on our personal journeys from hurt to healing and from immaturity to maturity.

Humility is where healing begins--emotionally, physically, and spiritually. Humility is our part in the Good News narrative. Join us on this episode for a great story, a powerful analogy, and these TAKEAWAYS:

• Risk asking someone this week to share with you what you aren't seeing. You need other people to help you fill in your blind spots.
• Humility is our invitation to rest because we are inviting others to look at our chaos. In safe relationships, we are willing to admit the lies that have become a part of our story and we are willing to trade the lies for truth so we can live in peace, instead of dis-ease.
• "As we begin this journey, ask yourself, Where is it that I come from? And where is it I am going? May your heart be curious as you study the great tragedy and beauty that your story reveals." (Jay Stringer, Unwanted) And may you find trusted others to help you tell your story in truth.

Thank you for joining the cause at LOVE IS FEARLESS and sharing this podcast with your friends. Together, there is great hope.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Education by Design, Not Default--How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry

Trust for Today by the Trueface Team

Unwanted--How Sexual Brokenness Reveals Our Way To Healing by Jay Stringer

Trueface.org

One of the best parts of going to Chick-Fil-A is the way every employee always responds to a customer's "Thank you" with a sincere "My pleasure!" Have you ever wondered why those two words hit such a sweet spot...deep in your soul?

It's because we are wired to find deep satisfaction having an impact for good in someone else's life. This is what it means to love one another. And we were made for it.

GRATITUDE is the thankful admission that we have been influenced for good by the love of another.

Despite our legalistic, "you better be good for goodness sake" upbringing, we are not wired to find this same kind of deep satisfaction simply by "being good." Good behavior offers us no rush of oxytocin-the love hormone. We are made for love!

Join us on this episode and linger in these TAKEAWAYs:

• We are created to find deep satisfaction, not in being good, but in being loved--and loving others.
• LOVE is the source of our pleasure--not goodness. Experiencing gratefulness is a part of the human experience when we take ourselves out of a "be good" narrative, and allow ourselves to "be loved" and "be loving."
• Being good is about my potential. Impacting and influencing the world FOR good is about my destiny! One will keep me striving and living in fear; the other invites me to thrive and live in love.

We mention these resources in this episode:

The Cure--What if God isn't who you think He is and neither are you? by John Lynch, Bruce McNicol, and Bill Thrall https://smile.amazon.com/Cure-What-isnt-think-neither/dp/1934104086/

Education by Design, Not Default--How Brave Love Creates Fearless Learning by Janet Newberry https://smile.amazon.com/Education-Design-Not-Default-Fearless/dp/057840835X/

Almost Home by Mercy Me https://youtu.be/8_ij-VGMMxQ

John 15 Academy https://john15academy.com

LOVE IS FEARLESS - Join the cause! https://loveisfearless.com

Many of us enjoy singing this line in a popular worship song, "I'm no longer a slave to fear." SLAVE is a powerfully accurate word in that refrain. FEAR will be our master unless we trust LOVE to set us FREE.

Freedom can be defined as a life lived in the truth that love offers. Our KEEP CHOOSING LOVE challenge this week is to refuse the slavery of fear. In this episode, we'll highlight the relationship between fear and lies, and between love and truth.

It's a bit ironic that this episode is the last one we'll record in Freedom, our Airstream. By the time this episode publishes, the 27' that has been our home will have begun a new chapter--with new owners. We're cheering you on Paul and Emily!

Join us as we share some funny stories and some inspiring truths from the past 880 days lived in Freedom.

Linger in these TAKEAWAYS:

• A life lived in freedom is the life offered by LOVE. FEAR will always make us slaves. LOVE will always set us free.
• Fear is a liar. When we trust anything other than truth, we will live as slaves to fear. Love is a truth-teller. When we trust the truth that love offers, we will live in freedom.
• Trusting God's love is our invitation to experience God's love. If we don't trust His love, we're defaulting to a life of fear. Trusting His love gives us the freedom we didn't have before—the freedom to love…ourselves and others.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Anxiety, Depression, and the ENERGY love offers - https://www.loveisfearless.com/podcast/episode/1e868b8b/anxiety-depression-and-the-energy-love-offers

Trueface.org / The High Trust Leadership course https://www.trueface.org/high-trust-leader-certificate

ENERGY is the strength and vitality required for sustained physical and mental activity. It is also the power derived from physical and spiritual resources.

ENERGY can be measured in frequencies--even the energy of love and fear.

When we trust love, we gain strength and vitality. When we trust fear, we are powerless.

Do you know the energetic frequency of love and fear? Join us in this episode to find out (it's crazy cool, y'all!) and linger in these key TAKEAWAYS:

• The opposite of dreaming is living in the limited reality we see with our physical eyes and what we hear with our human ears. The alternative to DREAMING is being contented with FALSE TRADITIONS.
• This is the power of relationships of trust--and choosing love. When I have a choice, I get to choose what is me, and what is good for me. That's very different from choosing what the world says is good.
• The alternative to ENERGY is POWERLESSNESS. Without trusting LOVE, we are POWERLESS to heal, connect, win the battle against fear, or impact and influence the world--or each other--for good.

Join the LOVE IS FEARLESS movement and help us build cultures of love around the world. Visit loveisfearless.com Together, there is great hope.

We mention these resources in this episode:

The Frequency of Disease https://thesoulfrequency.com/frequency-of-disease/

Eight Ways to Raise Your Vibration (your positive energy) https://www.theholisticingredient.com/blogs/wholesome-living/13587702-8-ways-to-raise-your-vibration-your-positive-energy

Love is 528 https://www.prnewswire.com/news-releases/love-is-528-the-worlds-first-song-using-the-scientifically-proven-frequency-of-love-300307498.html

Mythbuster Test the Frequency of Fear https://www.sageaudio.com/blog/music-news/mythbusters-test-the-frequency-of-fear.php

Jason Pamer is a dreamer--so he knows the power of fear. And he knows the power of love. He's a storyteller whose words weave a tapestry that ignites a fire in your soul. That fire was put in your DNA before the beginning of time. It's the dream God gave you before your earthly life began.

Fear will try to kill that dream--or at least stall it, or derail it. And love will protect it. If we let love.

This episode is longer than most others and it is way too short to capture the energy and life of the true artist that is our guest. Thank you, Jason Pamer. You loved us well in this conversation. We are honored to offer this gift to our LOVE IS FEARLESS audience.

Listen to the episode, friends. Don't just settle for these valuable TAKEAWAYS:

• Our God-given dreams are invitations to change the world. They will only thrive in a culture of love.
• Be on the lookout for dream seeds in your key relationships. Be the friend (or the spouse) who listens and questions and encourages and protects the dreams of those you love.
• "Grasp your dreams. Reach for them. Take appropriate risks. One of the worst things you can die with is potential. Die with failures before you die with potential." (Dr. Henry Cloud)

Share this episode with someone who has a dream. Tell them to keep going. Together, there is great hope.

You can find out more about Jason's work at:

www.sypherfilms.com

www.heartofmanmovie.com

www.heartofmanjourney.com

www.northwood.io

Rape For Profit https://itunes.apple.com/us/movie/rape-for-profit/id667564959

Trueface https://trueface.org/

Conversations are becoming a lost art in our fear-based culture--and loneliness has reached epidemic proportions.

"Loneliness is not the physical absence of other people. It's the sense that you're not sharing anything that matters with anyone else." (Johann Hari)

In this episode, we share a vulnerable story about a decision we made early in our relationship that we now see set us up for a marriage rich with meaningful conversations.

This episode feels sacred to us, and we offer you these TAKE AWAYS:

• Meaningful conversations and connections act like antibiotics that fight the bacteria of loneliness. The life we live will build the world we live in. Build with love.
• LOVE heals our psychology. The power of the words we speak in relationships of trust act with the same skill as a surgeon, carefully removing malignancies and cleaning away infection.
• Transactions are a loving and respectful way to do business. "I value what you're offering and I'll pay you for it." Transactions are a fearful way to do personal relationships. "What I value is you, and you don't need to work to earn my love."

In a culture of love, the words that come out of our mouths begin to paint a portrait of the stuff that's in our souls. We get to shine a light on the good stuff, and let love resolve the rest.

Thank you for sharing LOVE IS FEARLESS with your friends or your small group.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Our work to teach children to have meaningful conversations. https://john15academy.com

The Wisdom of Wilderness: Experiencing the Healing Power of Nature by Gerald May

Astroball: The New Way To Win It All by Ben Reiter

The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen

The Saving Life of Christ by Major W. Ian Thomas

We're filling a tool box with the things that help us build cultures of love. In the previous episode, we added AFFECTIONS to our tool box. This week, we share our own lists of "things we love" and how we sorted our loves into two categories: affections and addictions.

In this episode, we're admitting that BEAUTY can be a power tool for real transformation--especially when the details of our lives are "not good."

Enjoy the personal stories we share, and linger in these TAKE AWAYS:

• The key difference between a culture of fear and a culture of love is how we respond to "not good." In a culture of love, we respond in love. We choose affections, not addictions.
• A strategic anchor for living life and building a culture of love is this: "If it's not beautiful, we don't do it."
• Here's your "keep choosing love" challenge: Choose beauty this week, especially when things are "not good."

Send us an email ([email protected] or [email protected]) and tell us how you keep choosing love--and thank you for sharing this episode with your friends.

Join the LOVE IS FEARLESS movement by downloading a free resource at loveisfearless.com--or choose "join the cause."

We mention these additional resources in this episode:

LOVE IS FEARLESS on Instagram can be found @keepchoosinglove.

Doug and Janet love the pastries at Emma and Ollie's in Fredericksburg, TX. Check out their website. https://www.emmaolliefbg.com/

Intentionally building a culture is different than working to change behavior. LOVE IS FEARLESS is working to build cultures of love because people behave differently in a culture of love than they do in a culture of fear.

Building cultures of love offers us a new menu of things to love. In a culture of fear, what starts out as a "love" relationship often ends up as a relationship of bondage. Think about Lay's potato chips, Netflix, shopping, or video games.

In this episode we discuss the differences between affections and addictions. Use these questions to sort your own list of "Things I LOVE" into these two categories--and keep choosing love in all the ways you invest your time and energy in true affections, instead of addictions.

What does love do? (True affections offer us these benefits.)

• Love makes us stronger.
• Love contributes to maturity.
• Love has an impact and influence for good--even in our pain or struggle or trauma.
• Love tells us the truth...in love.
• Love offers freedom.
• Love wants the best for you.

What does love not do? (These things are often true of addictions.)

• Love does not always give us our own way--if it's not a healthy way.
• Love offers us the presence of something good in our pain, but does not always relieve our pain.
• Love doesn't always makes things easier.
• Love doesn't make demands--or offer "golden handcuffs."
• Love does not use you for personal gain.

This episode offers these key TAKE AWAYS:

1. Affections influence us in the ways of freedom, not bondage. Affections invite us to create and contribute and conquer--not each other, but conquer our fears.
2. Cultivate a healthy skepticism of your own affections. Truth is essential. Sometimes truth offers a hard stop...or a significant u-turn. Sometimes love sits down for a season, to take a deep breath and be reminded of the truth.
3. Being good may have nothing to do with love. It may have everything to do with being smart or successful or talented. But many smart, successful, and talented people are missing out on love--and so are the people closest to them.

Visit loveisfearless.com to download a free resource to help you choose love over fear today--and to join the cause. Subscribe to LOVE IS FEARLESS on your favorite podcast provider--and thank you for sharing this episode with your friends.

We mention these resources in this episode:

Visit john15academy.com to learn more about our work to build schools without fear.

Thank you, Jon Schmidt and Stephen Sharp Nelson for being a great affection to share with our grandchildren. https://thepianoguys.com/

The Houston Astros are a team that loves each other well. Listen to the reporter's question, and A. J. Hinch's response in this post game interview--this is LOVE! You don't need to listen to the whole video; listen to what he says from 2:50--3:30.

There is a crisis in our world today. It's a crisis of fear. We live afraid. We're afraid of what people will think, afraid of missing out, and afraid of losing control.

But what if we stop living afraid and instead choose love over fear?

We're creating a community of truth-seekers who together are learning how to choose love over fear in every conversation, every challenge, and every decision. Every day, one day at a time.

In this first LOVE IS FEARLESS episode, we talk about six key principals that are always true in "love one another" cultures, and we offer these three TAKE AWAYS:

• Fear will always be with us, but we don't have to live dominated by unhealthy fear. We can build cultures of love in our relationships, homes, schools, workplaces, churches, and communities when we learn to contribute love--instead of fear--into those cultures.
• We can begin to recognize the evidence of a culture of fear. Fear cultures are characterized by the things that thrive in fear: manipulation, immaturity, walking on eggshells, control, pretending, bullying, addiction, abuse, enabling, dis-ease, suicide, terrorism, apathy, rebellion or compliance to government or cultural standards, and a loss of freedom.
• We can begin to intentionally make room for and protect all the good fruit that grows in a culture of love. Love cultures are characterized by: trust, humility, creativity, maturity, dreams, integrity, courage, physical and mental health, hope, safety, heartfelt obedience to truth, heroic sacrifice, peace, and freedom.

Subscribe to the LOVE IS FEARLESS podcast on your favorite podcast provider.

We mention these resources in this episode:

A FREE downloadable resource, "Three Ways To Choose Love Today" on our new website: loveisfearless.com .

John Lynch - https://www.facebook.com/john.lynch.7564

Bob Hamp . https://www.facebook.com/bob.hamp